Naaaaaah
@biscuitsbrah, this is not the time for negativity this is the time for A Training Montage!
Because the Erik “Muska” Teer story must go on…,
Training Montage Scene Property of Rabbit Hole Productions INC.
Top of a snowy mountain. A white rabbit sits in louts position, a katana strapped on his back, he is crying a single tear and has a glass filled with a smoky liquid.
Shot from over the rabbits shoulder- we see a disheveled bleeding man being strafed by 4 peregrine falcons, the man is covering up his head and dodging their slashing attack runs
the rabbit raises his drink to his lips and the falcons peel off to sit behind him, the bedraggled man falls to his knees before the samurai warrior rabbit.
Oh Master toasty, please teach me the ways of your unbeatable drunken paw whiskey-fu. I have climbed this high peak under great duress to beseech this of you. the man says.
The Rabbit simply shakes his head no and the man starts back down.
The Rabbit speaks- You may come back tomorrow if you wish. After saying this he makes a small gesture with his paw and the falcons recommence their attacking.
The next morning, same scene except this time the bedraggled man is slowly, step by step, pushing a moose up the hill. He reaches the rabbit who makes a small gesture upon their arrival, the moose shakes its antlers, flinging the man at the feet of the rabbit before walking to sit behind the majestic hare. The man lays prostrate before the holy rabbit.
"oh wise and beneficent toasty, I have struggled with all my might and endurance against this mighty beast to ask again that you might teach me to be half as great a warrior as you are.
The Rabbit simply shakes his head no and the man starts back down.
The Rabbit speaks- You may come back tomorrow if you wish. After saying this he makes a small gesture with his paw and the moose takes off after the exhausted man.
The next morning, same scene except this time the bedraggled man is being harried by a pack of wolves. Each time a wolf lunges, the man kicks or punches it off and continues racing toward the resplendent rabbit. Finally the rabbit makes a gesture and the wolves fall in behind him.
Oh handsome and intelligent master toasty, at great peril I have come a third time, cut and bled by this pack of predators but unbowed in my desire to learn your unmatched fighting style.
The Rabbit simply shakes his head no and the man starts back down.
The Rabbit speaks- You may come back tomorrow if you wish. After saying this he makes a small gesture with his paw and the wolves begin harrying the man again.
On the fourth day we watch the man be tackled repeatedly by a large grizzly bear, each time the man wrestles his way free, racing desperately toward the magnificent warrior bunny, only to be tackled again and again until finally the brilliant rabbit makes a small gesture, the bear tosses the man high in the air and watches him land at the feet of the rabbit then sits behind the rabbit.
Oh radiant toasty who legendary defeats of Rickson, Fedor Johnny Bones, Kahbib and GSP all in the same kumite have brought me here to beg for your assistance, can you not see that even suffering all these loses I have the heart of a champion and simply need you on my team to actually get a win? Won't you train me now?
The Rabbit simply shakes his head no and the man starts back down.
The Rabbit speaks- You may come back tomorrow if you wish. After saying this he makes a small gesture with his paw the bear commences mauling the man again.
On the fifth day, we watch the man come up very very slowly. Each movement he makes, each step toward the glowing rabbit monk takes minutes to complete. Over a period of hours he draws near, finally the rabbit makes a small gesture and seemingly from out of nowhere 4 concealed snow leopards reveal themselves to have been stalking the man the entire time. They now kneel in front of the rabbit forming a deadly barrier between him and the man
Oh great toasty, I stand before you a humbled and broken man. I know now that I will never be a worthy heir to your merciless drunken paw whiskey-fu. I ask only your forgiveness for disturbing your meditation and whiskey tasting.
With that the Rabbit rises, he walks through the snow leopards who form up flanking him as they approach the man. from out of the woods and sky all the other predators form up behind this singular rabbit samurai poet whiskey aficionado.
Faster than the human eye can follow the rabbit whips into motion, after a furious blur of athletic grace we see the man standing dumbfounded by the black belt neatly tied around his waist.
The Flacons taught you defense, footwork and agility, the moose strength, endurance and proved your heart, the wolves taught you our stand up techniques, the grizzly bear your ground game and the snow leopards taught you strategy, patience and proved your courage. These are the elements that make Drunken Paw Whiskey-fu unmatched and you are now a master.
the man falls face first to the ground, sobbing with joy. Thank you master toasty, this is the greatest moment in my life, I will never be able to repay you for your kindness, your wisdom, and teaching me the only perfect fighting system in the history of the world.
The rabbit raises the whiskey glass to his mouth, inhales the smoky aroma, takes a well considered sip and says
"Acutally you will, the black belt costs $175,000 and I get 50% of all your purses, free flights and hotels to corner you, and 85 % of Whiskey-Fu related merch sales or this pack of savage mountain beasts will shred you before you take a single step you helpless sack of smelly human flesh. Now pay the fuck up."
Honestly Erik I think you should give up fighting and try your hand at writing. You get less concussions and might actually make a few $'s as you seem to have a very vivid imagination and some wit.
I do hope you can get just one mma win and call it quits.
Please ask sherdog to change your fight finder to use the nickname Erik "Shed a" or "Punch Here" or "Bloody Smear" Teer, when you do get your hand raised.