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Rabbit Hole Tavern- A safe place to complain about your spouse or partner

toasty said:
WOWZA! Everyone else's spouse or partner is perfect?

Nobody else's wife comes home with Mocha Frappuccinos from Starbucks that her and the kid are smothered in whipped cream and gulpping down in front of me and says "i was gonna get you one but I thought you wouldn't want it?"

I'm surprised but happy for all of you and your perfect unions...
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My wife isn't good at expressing her emotions and yes I know this complaint is vaginal sir.
If there's was one thing I could change a little it would that.

And she doesn't know how to say the word sorry...I think if she said the word out loud she'd burst into flames or something lol.
She does show that she's sorry but I wouldn't mind hearing "you're right, I'm sorry" every once in awhile.

Other than that, yeah she's perfect lol
 
This isn’t just about my spouse but EVERY FUCKING BROAD I have ever slept next to in my entire life , I’m like a ninja in the morning, I know where all my stuff is , I can get dressed and ready without making a sound. But in the rare circumstance that they have to be up before you , they will wake you up , for sure , they will turn every light in the fucking house on , they will turn on the tv or radio to “check the weather” , they will wake you up to “just ask a quick question” that has nothing to do with anything. They will drop something to make a loud noise , they will ask “are you awake” again and again until you wake up , my girl on the one day of the year that I got to sleep later than her had a coughing fit in the bed room , I’m talking loud , like a mix of coughing and yelling, wouldn’t be capable of coughing louder for money .
Fascinating behaviour by gods most unpredictable creatures
 
Elvis. said:
This isn’t just about my spouse but EVERY FUCKING BROAD I have ever slept next to in my entire life , I’m like a ninja in the morning, I know where all my stuff is , I can get dressed and ready without making a sound. But in the rare circumstance that they have to be up before you , they will wake you up , for sure , they will turn every light in the fucking house on , they will turn on the tv or radio to “check the weather” , they will wake you up to “just ask a quick question” that has nothing to do with anything. They will drop something to make a loud noise , they will ask “are you awake” again and again until you wake up , my girl on the one day of the year that I got to sleep later than her had a coughing fit in the bed room , I’m talking loud , like a mix of coughing and yelling, wouldn’t be capable of coughing louder for money .
Fascinating behaviour by gods most unpredictable creatures
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This is true and I also don't understand it.

I don't understand the light thing at all. Like why can you not get up and go to the bathroom or the kitchen without turning on every light in the house on the way ? I walk through the house in the dark all the time ! Some version of this light nonsense plays put freaking nightly.

And at least once a week the first words my wife hears in the morning are me growling what the fuck are you doing while she's making racket like it never occurred to her that I'm still asleep and might have wanted to stay that way. Like don't mind me I was up with the baby half the night cuz I new you had to be up in the morning why don't you run the blender 9 times and watch the weather on full blast. Maybe stomp around me like 15 times and wake me up to remind me of some bullshit going on next week.

It's unreal that a dude can get up and do everything but have a gunfight without making a sound and they can't even get out of bed without sounding like a moshpit and putting on a light show.

Jesus christ
 
Gutter Chris said:
This is true and I also don't understand it.

I don't understand the light thing at all. Like why can you not get up and go to the bathroom or the kitchen without turning on every light in the house on the way ? I walk through the house in the dark all the time ! Some version of this light nonsense plays put freaking nightly.

And at least once a week the first words my wife hears in the morning are me growling what the fuck are you doing while she's making racket like it never occurred to her that I'm still asleep and might have wanted to stay that way. Like don't mind me I was up with the baby half the night cuz I new you had to be up in the morning why don't you run the blender 9 times and watch the weather on full blast. Maybe stomp around me like 15 times and wake me up to remind me of some bullshit going on next week.

It's unreal that a dude can get up and do everything but have a gunfight without making a sound and they can't even get out of bed without sounding like a moshpit and putting on a light show.

Jesus christ
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those face mask things work, won't help with the noise, but helps block out the lights from late night texting, or the I'm awake so let me put on the tv at 3 am or the let me just check if the light bulb is working at 6am nonsense both of you and I have had to deal with.......it also passively aggessively shows you are annoyed without you having to bother to wake up to start a fight, just reach for it put it over your eyes and roll back trying to fight the sound of the weatherman blabbering on about something you could just look outside and know. they are also invaluable on long jet flights
 
Bitches aint shit.

Bitch, what??

WHAT???

Ok thanks im good, I needed that.
 
Texan6533 said:
We know a trap when we see one. Wives eyes and ears are everywhere…..
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My wife asked about this site once and was asking what I was laughing about. I was reading through the first date horror stories thread. When she asked my username is when I went "uh oh" and knew I only had 2 seconds to respond or it would look fishy. I blurted @THE Red Beard
 
Smontime my left hadnd and my rigby hand fight, having 2 orrnteds2is more torub3l than it wors3
 
so I might be repeating myself here but i'm old and allowed to do that and this one got to me again this morning.

My wife is very good at math. My wife is very hard working and would rather do things herself than have someone else do them.

I am neither of these things

BUT I am punctual to the point of obsessiveness.

So every single fucking time my wife says "I will take him to school" I shudder.

He has an 8 am class with a test today, the school is 15 minutes away if there is no traffic, note there is always at least some traffic between here and the school in the morning mostly because everyone else is going to the school at the same time.

So how does the math work that at 7:51 you are still in the bathroom drying your hair?

hint- it doesn't.
2nd hint- it never does
3rd hint- it never ever ever will
4th hint- running around like crazy at 7:53 will not make the world spin backwards it will just stress out everyone else that was perfectly ready to leave the house at 7:40 except your car is blocking mine in and "You are taking him"
5th hint- You're not helping me by making the entire house stressed out and him late, I would much rather take him my damn self, have him be on time, and you can do your eye liner or curl your toenails or do the 75 stupid things women do to look better for their co-workers on a fucking zoom call.
 
toasty said:
so I might be repeating myself here but i'm old and allowed to do that and this one got to me again this morning.

My wife is very good at math. My wife is very hard working and would rather do things herself than have someone else do them.

I am neither of these things

BUT I am punctual to the point of obsessiveness.

So every single fucking time my wife says "I will take him to school" I shudder.

He has an 8 am class with a test today, the school is 15 minutes away if there is no traffic, note there is always at least some traffic between here and the school in the morning mostly because everyone else is going to the school at the same time.

So how does the math work that at 7:51 you are still in the bathroom drying your hair?

hint- it doesn't.
2nd hint- it never does
3rd hint- it never ever ever will
4th hint- running around like crazy at 7:53 will not make the world spin backwards it will just stress out everyone else that was perfectly ready to leave the house at 7:40 except your car is blocking mine in and "You are taking him"
5th hint- You're not helping me by making the entire house stressed out and him late, I would much rather take him my damn self, have him be on time, and you can do your eye liner or curl your toenails or do the 75 stupid things women do to look better for their co-workers on a fucking zoom call.
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rekt-savage.gif
 
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