this whole thing sucks. i was trying to find some details and read between the lines but nah. we all get the blues, please take care of yall selves. we all have distant friends we should call out of the blue who may need us. this all sucks. one of my best friends is a depressive loner who moved thousands of miles away 2 years ago and who told me he bought a gun 18 months ago -- i argued with him about it (we had a friend who was shot to death in his driveway and i contend a gun couldnt have saved him the way it went down, so its extra weird) and he stopped talking to me ... after months of silence i apologized, and we've exchanged ~six texts in the last year, and its killing me. i am also depressive, but i never fuck with drugs or guns, and i am trying to be happy with the great things i have in my life! i have a hard job but i get to be flexible and get to travel more than 99% of people to place i want to go, that's my distraction these days --- i know i have had a lot of luck, not a lot of trauma in my life, every advantage (other than growing up poorish but not food assistance poor), plus my brain chemistry isn't that bad i dont think, who knows man, i am lonely.
january 29 was also the one year anniversary of an old high school close friend ODing in a possible suicide -- we had all lost touch with him -- it had been 15 years and he moved away and was barely in contact -- but he was immensely successful lead dev at amazon making bonkers money, had a nice life, seemed to be on track at age 36, but then -- H > fent.
be empathetic to those around you -- depression is the new norm in our society.