Office bathroom experiences

In my office there was this short fat guy with a jew fro that use to take his pants right down like a 5th grader, lead against the wall and try to have casual conversations in the urinal, if I ever saw him in there I'd go to a cubicle.
 
Haven't had to worry about that since I've been working from home for the past 5 years or so. But I remember always trying to find good lines or poems on the walls. I remember in middle school, the one that stuck with me was Mom or Dad, Bro or Sis, lift the lid before you piss. Good times
 
Dudes taking naps on toilet and jerking off for sure.
 
SamSchmidt said:
What is this can't shit next to people shit?
Man I need to go, I go. I walk in drop them drawers and let it fly. We arent in the godamn bathroom to wonder why the guy next to you ain't shitting. Get in. Get out!
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Ok and what about shitting sounds happening arround you and smell produced by your shitting colleague near you?
That is not distracting or making you feel uncormfortable?
 
tonil said:
Ok and what about shitting sounds happening arround you and smell produced by your shitting colleague near you?
That is not distracting or making you feel uncormfortable?
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No why would it? I never really understood why some people are like that. Chicks do that. Men know other men take nasty shits. It's just life. Chicks on the other hand...i still don't know to this day if they do it or it magically disappears from their system.

I kept trying to bust in on the bathroom when my girlfriends or ex fiancee were in there to catch them shitting. Like a Sherlock Holmes mystery. Not once did I ever discover it. I only creeped them out. : /
 
It's always funny when I go in the bathroom and someone is passed out in a stall.... just snoring away.
 
I work in a busy environment so there is almost always someone else taking a deuce. What bothers me is the people that for reasons beyond me have to take the big handicap stalls even though they don't need them and there are 10+ other free stalls available. It irks me to no end. There's only 1 handicap stall and people actually use it like it's some sort of privilege.
 
Its embarassing to produce shit sounds when you know your colleagues are around you
 
Lol, I once worked in a small office - like 12 employees total, about half were guys, and some were usually out of the office traveling to client sites. So, it was really only 3 or 4 guys regularly using the mens bathroom. Well, one new guy got hired and consistently would drop bombs and not flush. It blew me away because its like, wtf are you thinking dude? Did he just assume everyone else does that as well, so it wouldn't be an issue? Or that we wouldn't all know it was him? It was clearly obvious he was the one doing it, because it had never been an issue until he showed up. Eventually one of the partners sent out an email to the men in the company basically detailing how incredibly disgusting and unprofessional it was, and it finally stopped, but I seriously don't understand how anyone can do that. Hell, if I blow up a toilet I stick around and do multiple flushes just to make sure there's no evidence left behind.
 
Thankfully my last company in the UK weren't gender neutral so not my problem, but we had a phantom jizzer. He'd do it all up the wall.
 
We have automatic flush toilets. Sometimes if you squirm or lean forward, it will randomly flush mid-poo.
Maybe two years back, I moved somehow and heard the flush. No big deal until I felt cold water touch my danglies just before it crests the bowl carrying my own sewage onto the floor around my feet. I kinda wish I could have seen my own face as I leapt off the throne.
 
Many years ago on my submarine, I was the senior enlisted guy in my division. The Division Officer hunted me down while I was in the stall and passed me the quarterly training report under the door so I could sign it before his meeting with the Eng. Priorities and hygiene be damned. Of course I had to borrow a pen...
 
Cyrano200 said:
We have automatic flush toilets. Sometimes if you squirm or lean forward, it will randomly flush mid-poo.
Maybe two years back, I moved somehow and heard the flush. No big deal until I felt cold water touch my danglies just before it crests the bowl carrying my own sewage onto the floor around my feet. I kinda wish I could have seen my own face as I leapt off the throne.
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Lol. If I have to use a toilet that doesn't flush or a soap dispenser I have to touch I tut.
That must have been a nightmare!! How did you style that out at work?
 
fingercuffs said:
That must have been a nightmare!! How did you style that out at work?
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Well no one saw me. I went immediately to the building custodian and reported that the toilet overflowed. I guess he assumed I discovered it that way and I never confessed that I was actually the occupant at the time. So no one here knows.
Just this weekend the wife and kids and I were engaged in the age old toilet seat debate - why don't you put it down? Followed by Is it so hard for you to put it down? - We recalled an instance when my 3 yr old -ish son actually fell victim to an lifted lid and fell in. He was terrified and it took until now, 14 years later for me to laugh uncontrollably in his face about it (we all did, because we couldn't then). To make him feel better I relayed this story for the first time to another human being.
 
I still don't get the people that talk on their phone while taking a dump. Can it really not wait till your done? No, I don't want to listen to that shit.
 
tonil said:
Its embarassing to produce shit sounds when you know your colleagues are around you
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It’s embarrassing to hear them too, if someone is blasting trombone type noises I always want to get out before I see who it is
 
Everybody goes to bosses bathrooms on 3rd floor, result is floor 3 and 0 are not much different

2nd floor is the actual smart choice
 
Now that many employees are forced to come to office, at least now and then, all those situations are available again.
I am now in the office, just returned from visiting the toilet room, and all toilet boxes, at least 3 of them in a row, had closed door with people inside doing their thing. How can they shit sitting to each other, listening to those sounds, smelling the air, i dont get it
 
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