Office bathroom experiences

[Why did you]

Most people as in most office people, or most people as in world population?

Thats a good pool worthy question, I would say most world population

 

[SalvadorAllende]

I have a few. Let me remember.

1. I had a co-worker who had problems shitting. Dude was dry inside but somehow he thought it was important to keep us updated about his intestinal situation.
There was this time when he was like 10 days without shitting. I remember being in the bathroom washing my hands after pissing when the dude enters (he seemed hurry) and told me something that I will never forget: "Jony, for your own sake get the hell out of here"

2. I used to work in an office where most of my coworkers were +60 years old. Some of them were even +70.
I can't begin to explain you the kind of noises those poor old men made. It was terrible lol.

3. Same office that 2. I can't confirm but I was told that once one of the toilettes was clogged. Nothing weird, but when Carlitos (the cleaning guy) went to fix it he supposedly found a carrot with a condom on stucked in the pipe. Notice that this was a mens bathroom.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

fair enough, I thought all toilets were fitted with locks you could open from the outside

did you slide your way out?

Yeah... luckly it was a pretty clean floor. I knew the lock was kind of broken but you know what's up... when you have a favorite shitter, you have to go there.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

I've developed a complex about the office bathroom because 90% of the time someone else heads it seconds after I do or at the exact same time. Always people I don't recognize from the other floors. Worst part is every floor has their own bathrooms, so why do all the weirdos have to use mine?! And apparently I'm the only one with this issue because none of my agents or employees have ever ran into anyone else in the bathroom.

I feel you man, I'm the only guy in my office on the top floor, so I have the shitter to myself (in theory).
However people from the two floors below come up to mine ( MINE!) to have a shit because they obviously have issues shitting in their own toilet

stank motherfuckers

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Yeah... luckly it was a pretty clean floor. I knew the lock was kind of broken but you know what's up... when you have a favorite shitter, you have to go there.

that's why I use the handicap one, they got big gaps, clean floors and a pully thing in case you get stuck or something

I like to leave a bowl of M&M's in the handicap toilet so it looks even posher

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Oh.. current office. There are a lot of bathrooms here.

The one I go to has 3 unrinals and 2 toilets and is used by no more than 6/8 guys.
There is some motherfucker that piss on one of the toilets, dry his junk with toilet paper and never flush. So you go there, you want to take a shit and you find that. I mean... how difficult is to flush?

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

Im always disguised by the drink cups left behind. Who tf drinks anything in the shitter?

you don't do bathroom snacks? i don't usually bring drinks but sometimes i get hungry

 

[Wet Blanket]

I share a bathroom with 3 females at work. I'm blessed.

Cause dudes are fucking filthy. Particularly when there's a bunch of them using the same facilities.

I dunno man, I've seen some lady-messes that were brutal.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

I feel you man, I'm the only guy in my office on the top floor, so I have the shitter to myself (in theory).
However people from the two floors below come up to mine ( MINE!) to have a shit because they obviously have issues shitting in their own toilet

stank motherfuckers

Well.. the 2 toilets in "my" bathroom are kind of facing eachother and the floor is kind of brilliant so you can see the reflex of the person in the other toilet through the (unnecesary) gap between the floor and the wall/separation.

A couple of times I was trying to take a nap (yes, I do that lol) and someone walked in and sat on the other toilet.
I was like "nope, this is not going to work" and walked out of the bathroom.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Well.. the 2 toilets in "my" bathroom are kind of facing eachother and the floor is kind of brilliant so you can see the reflex of the person in the other toilet through the (unnecesary) gap between the floor and the wall/separation.

A couple of times I was trying to take a nap (yes, I do that lol) and someone walked in and sat on the other toilet.
I was like "nope, this is not going to work" and walked out of the bathroom.

sometimes I unravel the toilet paper and write a note on a random sheet then roll it back up again

sometimes it's deep sometimes it's dumb, once I drew the Blockbusters game board because the loo roll was made up of hexagons

I like to think whoever found it had a lovely story to tell his family when he got home that night

 

[Alphaboy]

Cause dudes are fucking filthy. Particularly when there's a bunch of them using the same facilities.

It's a known fact that it's the other way around, but okay...

 

[SalvadorAllende]

sometimes I unravel the toilet paper and write a note on a random sheet then roll it back up again

sometimes it's deep sometimes it's dumb, once I drew the Blockbusters game board because the loo roll was made up of hexagons

I like to think whoever found it had a lovely story to tell his family when he got home that night

LOL. That is actually a solid trolling.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

It's a known fact that it's the other way around, but okay...

I'm forever hearing horror stories from my wife or the women I work with about sanitary issues and other scummy stuff

 

[Alphaboy]

I'm forever hearing horror stories from my wife or the women I work with about sanitary issues and other scummy stuff

They're fuckin' disgusting...

Spoiler: Warning: Gross

With dudes, you get the occasional huge, explosive, dump with paper clogging it up.

With girls, you'll get a bloody tampon clogging up the toilet and cocktail of blood and shit everywhere. Many times, they'll just say "fuck it" and shit, piss, and bleed on the seat.

From what I hear, the messiness in our bathrooms are more linear, theirs are exponential, which makes sense if you think about it. One girl fucks up the toilet seat, the next girl has to squat in the air and makes more of a mess and so on...

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Two things:
IT guys don’t wash their hands. I’m like the only guy in IT that washes his hands after taking a piss. I have actually seen other IT guys walk out after taking a shit, and not wash their hands. They’re nerds who never spent time outside as kids. So they never learned social conventions like everyone else. To them, washing their hands is just something their parents made them do.

And Asian guys always spit in the urinal. Whether they’re Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Indian, whatever, they always spit in the urinal while taking a piss. But at least they wash their hands.

 

[Bathwater]

Some disgusting savage took a shit in one of the sinks in our office way back when. When the cleaning lady came, she ran hot water over it and tried scrubbing it down the drain with a toilet brush. She basically vaporized it and flooded the bathroom with hot shit stank. When I went to take a leak I wasn't aware of what was going on and it was like walking into a wall of ass. Fucking horrible.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

They're fuckin' disgusting...

Spoiler: Warning: Gross

With dudes, you get the occasional huge, explosive, dump with paper clogging it up.

With girls, you'll get a bloody tampon clogging up the toilet and cocktail of blood and shit everywhere. Many times, they'll just say "fuck it" and shit, piss, and bleed on the seat.

From what I hear, the messiness in our bathrooms are more linear, theirs are exponential, which makes sense if you think about it. One girl fucks up the toilet seat, the next girl has to squat in the air and makes more of a mess and so on...

filthy bastards, hovering over the toilet and pissing through the gap in the seat

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Some disgusting savage took a shit in one of the sinks in our office way back when. When the cleaning lady came, she ran hot water over it and tried scrubbing it down the drain with a toilet brush. She basically vaporized it and flooded the bathroom with hot shit stank. When I went to take a leak I wasn't aware of what was going on and it was like walking into a wall of ass. Fucking horrible.

that's awesome, this thread delivers!

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Some disgusting savage took a shit in one of the sinks

 

[Organic Damage]

One guy would try to start a conversation as he was taking a shit as if people wanted to stick around and breathe in the stinkiness.

What was just in his ass is now in your mouth. Think about that.

I try to make my brown bank deposits as early in the day as possible so I get a nice clean stall all to myself.