Newsflash: Forrest Gump Was Lying

[nostradumbass]

Btw know why he called boat jenny?

Because its always wet, smells like fish and has another man in it

You know why he called the shrimp company Bubba Gump shrimp co?

Cause Jenny was a filthy whore passing around AIDS like a party favor

 

[Fedorgasm]

Never seen the film. Nothing I hear about it makes me want to either. Thanks op.

It's actually a good movie, but after hearing everyone talk about all the plot points it might be hard to enjoy it now. We've poisoned your expectations.

 

[WaylonMercy5150]

You know why he called the shrimp company Bubba Gump shrimp co?

Cause Jenny was a filthy whore passing around AIDS like a party favor

She gave it to Forrest

 

[AGGAMEMNON66]

why are these Cracked.com type shitposts making a resurgence?

To be fair shit posting will never go out of style. For some of us it’s all we have.

 

[Da Speeit]

To be fair shit posting will never go out of style. For some of us it’s all we have.

I love a good shitpost, but this “akshullyyyy when you think about it, FORREST WAS DA BAD GUAY” stuff is so lame

 

[Nathan LaMontagne]

Btw know why he called boat jenny?

Because its always wet, smells like fish and has another man in it

I think Seaman puts the joke up a point.

 

[Flower2dPeople]

I'm sorry... were you under the impression this was a fucking documentary or something?

View attachment 1106359



Division 1 football all american, war hero retarded international ping pong player turned investment genius and inspirational distance runner meets the president and shows him his ass.

Seems legit.

But why is he riding the bus? That ruins evsrything!!

The only person I know who was technically a div 1 football player, war veteran and a snl writer is Shane Gillis.

 

[BigSexy444]

I don't know if it's intentional but you're talking shit about your sherbros here. Honestly Gump was like a prototype Sherdogger that came out retarded but still managed to live the lifestyle

Gump neither tall nor jacked enough to be a sherbro.

 

[Cherry Brigand]

I think I have a thread about recently rewatching this movie. It holds up really well. It's almost perfect. TS would have let LT Dan die and likes women who taste like cigarettes.

 

[I Am Legion]

Interesting theory. There is one man I would task to solve this mystery.

 

[Fury]

OP's next thread will be how the electric on rail Ford Explorers in Jurassic Park weren't realistic in the early 90's

 

[Otto!]

Fuck Forrest Gump. Right in the asshole.

Forrest Hump?

 

[Zer]

Gump neither tall nor jacked enough to be a sherbro.

You're not wrong but this was a prototype sherdogger who didn't have access to the kind of roid and growth hormones we take

 

[buttcrack]

Cliffs

 

[Thrawn33]

Forest Gump:
"Drug addicted, diseased whore emotionally and sexually abuses millionare mentally handicapped war hero over the course of decades"

 

[Doughie99]

Forrest Gump, a film about a man who lived an incredible life. But did he?

Have you ever had to take the bus and ended up waiting next to some dude who won't shut up about how great they are or how they were a navy seal or that they are billionaires, but they choose to ride the bus for environmental reasons?

Maybe Forrest lived an amazing life. Or maybe Forrest was your typical slow roller telling tall tales at the bus stop.

Metting Elvis as a child: Bullshit. Elvis never stayed at his house when Forrest was a child, this is never brought up again and it lines up with Bus Stop Bullshit.

All American College Football Player: Bullshit. So, he's at a bus stop in Alabama and everyone in that state worships college football yet they don't recognize they are sitting next to an All American? Also, during the war scenes somebody in his platoon would have recognized him. This story is pure Bus Stop Bullshit

Running Around the Country: True. Evidence is presented in the film proving he did indeed do this.

Bubba Gump Shrimp Owner: True. Too much is evidence is presented in the film proving this true.

Meeting 3 Different Presidents and embarrassing himself each time: Bullshit. Each time he lampooned himself in front of the head of state was televised and this sort of blunder repeated thrice would gain even more media attention. Long story short, someone would have recognized him for that, and no one ever did. Bus Stop Bullshit.

Forrest is a father: Bullshit. Jenny has no idea who the father of her child is, she just knows Forest is rich and can provide him with a good life. The film paints Jenny as promiscuous and Forest being the father doesn't line up. Bus Stop Bullshit.

Your Thoughts?

Ummmmm....... my thoughts are.....it's a fictional movie

That's it.

 

[volodya]

Waist of time..?

LOL I fell about as quick as Forest now...I thought "time loop"

 

[Strychnine]

Jenny sucks.

 

[whocares]

Lieutenant Dan didn't actually kill Teddy KGB either

 

[Aurelian]

Lieutenant Dan didn't actually kill Teddy KGB either