My wife's dog keeps chewing up my stuff.

your dildo got chewed didn't it TS?








For real though get rid of the dog or spray some shit over all your items which I wouldn't recommend.

vibrator, but who's counting?
 
Here are some thoughts...

1. Take a dog training class with your wife (very important that she goes). The purpose of the classes is not to train the dog, but to train the owners. Try to be on the same team as opposed to being adversaries where the dog is concerned (and everything else in your lives if you can).

2. Get yourselves some good books (Caesar Milan books are very good) which can help understand dog psychology.

3. When no one is around the dog will do what it wants. You either need to make sure your stuff is put away so the dog can't reach it or you need to crate the dog.

4. Catch the dog in the act and startle it (a loud scream will usually do it) then take the item it is chewing away from it and give it one of its own. The dog will eventually understand what is his and that other items are not to be touched.

5. Some breeds have oral fixations (most retrievers do). Make sure you keep a good supply of pet toys they can carry in their mouths.

6. Be patient, right now your dog is a puppy, just like children he has to learn how to behave.

7. Become the pack leader. The key to achieving this is to consistently correct the dog when he does behaviors you don't like and to consistently be dominant (don't play tugging games with the dog, don't lie down and let the dog stand over you, assert your ownership over all things, do not let him in or out of the house without your permission (make him sit and wait), don't continually pet the dog or continually be giving it affection). Once you've achieved this (being the pack leader), your dog will look to you for permission before undertaking certain behaviors and you will be able to prevent him from doing things which you don't want him to do.

For example...

- Even if my door is open, my dog will not go out unless I tell him he can.
- My dog is always off leash on my property and he never strays off the property without my permission (even if another dog is across the street etc).
- Parts of our house are off limit to the dog. He's not allowed upstairs ever or in the dining room while we are eating (my wife also keeps him out of the kitchen while she's cooking).

It takes time, patience and consistency, but the eventual payoff is that you end up with an obedient family pet.
 
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I dont advise you leave your wife over a dog... talk it out and tell her really how you feel.
 
Hmmm, tell the wife to take the dog to dog school.
 
Assert your status as dominant male. You know what that means.

Vigorous dry-humping.
 
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