My best friend is dating my niece.

norcal313 said:
If my friend had a close relative that was mutually attracted to me, and I knew it would bother my friend, I would not date her.

I guess I value my friendship more than vag.
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This makes no sense to me... Anyone that would have a problem with two consenting adults spending time with each other would have to be a real control freak.
 
Bukowski82 said:
This makes no sense to me... Anyone that would have a problem with two consenting adults spending time with each other would have to be a real control freak.
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Ok, but my close friends are worth more than some fling. Priorities.
 
Sit back and enjoy the fireworks bro. Family reunions are about to be extra interesting.
 
norcal313 said:
Ok, but my close friends are worth more than some fling. Priorities.
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Sure, absolutely. If the reason makes sense... But if it doesn't make any sense and it's about someone's ability to control, would it still be worth it?

What if your friend told you not to eat Pizza because he didn't want to be friends with anyone that ate it. Would pizza not be worth losing a friend over?

I bring that up, because both situations make about the same amount of sense. It's a ridiculous request made because of someone's irrational preference and probably a need to control others.
 
Fistfulofsoysau said:
control issues are the underlying issue in many psychiatric disorders. for you, their 'need' to be in control of course would not be rational but for them it would be rational. If the reason for control is arbitrary, then that is another issue but there tends to be deeper causes for the need to control than we realize.
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It being rational to them doesn't make it rational or a valid concern... I'd never cater to someone's bullshit rationalization for that. Two consenting Adults should be able to date.
 
Fistfulofsoysau said:
rationality is just accordance with reason or logic so their rationality would be independent of your own. there is no consensus rationale needs to follow because it is relative. It doesn't sound like you'd be the friend of someone who lacks your exact reasoning anyways so I don't think it would apply to you.
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You're playing a game of Semantics. Anyone that would be opposed to that situatin is very clearly irrational and has a need to control by pretty much anyone's standards.

Or, if you want to put a name on it: The 'Reasonable Person Standard.'
 
tell her how you really feel and hopefully she would choose him over you.
 
Fistfulofsoysau said:
Emotion always plays a factor when family is involved. I don't think it is irrational to want to be protective of a family member. I see saugeye killah's statement 'I don't like it' as a manifestation of him being protective of his family.

You put it as a case of two consenting adults but that's simplifying the situation.
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I agree with you that the situation may not be the simple. But I think it should be... And I don't see why anyone would let the fact that someone else thinks it's not dictate what they should do in a reasonable situation. People can be overly sensitive about things of course, but it's their burden to bear imo. The best I'd do is hear all of their complaints about it and talk it through with them... If that didn't work, I wouldn't sacrifice my happiness to appease what I found to be a completely unreasonable request. And I doubt anyone with healthy boundaries would either, tbh. In fact, I'm certain you were just arguing the point... You're a medical provider, therefore you must be fairly intelligent and have good interpersonal skills. I doubt you'd let someone's selfish opinion of why you shouldn't date someone be a factor in a potential relationship for you...

And I'm not saying the TS is a bad person. I've seen the opposite from him. I'm just saying that at the end of the day, if he's upset about this... That's really on him. Because it's simply none of his business.
 
ICHEERTHEBULL said:
thats either the best friend you ever had or a evil fucker. Why the fuck would she ask your mate to take her though thats just strange
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We had all been living in the same backpacker house in Sydney. Then I moved out to continue travelling. She didn't know many people in the city, so it isn't that strange that she asked him to go with her.
 
One thing about this, I haven't really made much comment to them about it, except when he called to tell me, I said congratulations and I hope it goes well, treat her good, etc...

The thing is, I'm sure he realizes it must be super awkward for me, being privy to his numerous (and recent) past escapades. It would have been much better had it been any of my other friends, you know?

It's been a couple days, and I don't really care that much. It will be fine. I just wish them both the best.
 
saugeye killah said:
One thing about this, I haven't really made much comment to them about it, except when he called to tell me, I said congratulations and I hope it goes well, treat her good, etc...

The thing is, I'm sure he realizes it must be super awkward for me, being privy to his numerous (and recent) past escapades. It would have been much better had it been any of my other friends, you know?

It's been a couple days, and I don't really care that much. It will be fine. I just wish them both the best.
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if she doesn't have herpes already, she will.
 
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I see no problem other than maybe you'll be seeing much less of your friend or much more of your niece.
 
Tell them

I am not sure you are right for each other, but what the fuck do I know, I have no objection with you two dating and I honestlty I hope it works out well for you both.
 
HIMBOB said:
Tell them

I am not sure you are right for each other, but what the fuck do I know, I have no objection with you two dating and I honestlty I hope it works out well for you both.
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Thank you. Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying. I do hope it works out, and/or nobody gets fucked over too bad in the process.

thebluerider said:
if she doesn't have herpes already, she will.
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1/10. 10 for herpes reference, -9 for lack of originality.
 
saugeye killah said:
1/10. 10 for herpes reference, -9 for lack of originality.
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if your buddy is as promiscuous as you say he is, then there is a real good chance he does have it. she might blame you for not warning her about what a man whore he is.
 
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