Lets make funny jokes about fighters

Guy 1 - Excuse me, I heard there's an MMA gym around here.
Olaf - There is.
Guy 1 - Can you point me in that direction?
Olaf -
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drbolony said:
Khabib, Colby, and Cejudo are on a plane. Halfway to their destination, the pilot say's they're going down unless they lose some weight off the plane. The three gentlemen agree to get rid of whatever they have the most of in their country. Khabib immediately reaches for a box full of Vodka bottles and chucks them of the plane. Henry Cejudo is up next and he throws a whole bunch of carne asada out of the aircraft. Colby being the dimwit he is has to think for while, after about 2 minutes of rubbing his last two remaining brain cells together, he hurls Cejudo off the plane.
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<{danawhoah}>
 
What's small, green and can lead you to a pot of gold?


Conor McGregor's dick.
 
Why did Brendan Schaub receive a free ten year membership to his local sewing club?



Because snitches get stiches.
 
Where's Hermes Franca's favourite place to go on holiday?



Tampa, with his students.
 
When the painter came to do Pat Barry's house, he looked over at Rose and said "this wall too?"
 
How many Dana Whites does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nobody cares fuckface!
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What did Khabib's wife get on her wedding day that was long and hard?



A new last name.
 
UFC Fighter: "Hey Dana, can you lend me a quarter?"

Dana: A dime? What do you need a nickel for?
 
Two cashiers are working in a supermarket. One says to the other, I can always tell if a man is single or not. Watch this, she says.

Colby walks up to the register, and puts down one small tin of soup, one small bread roll, a ready meal for one, one can of soda, one small bottle of water, one apple, one toothbrush, and one toilet roll.

The cashier says "excuse me sir, you're single aren't you?"

"Yes Colby says, amazed. How can you tell that?"

The cashier says "because you're an ugly cunt".
 
I asked Henry Cejudo to lend me 10 dollars yesterday.

He said "Sorry, I'm a little short"
 
Why is Francis Ngannou a crossword puzzle fighter? You enter the octagon vertical and leave horizontal!
 
What does Ronda Rousey, Ohio State and the Green Bay Packers have in common? They all lost on the final kick.
 
Did you see the news report about someone pickpocketing Henry Cejudo?

I didn't know anyone could stoop so low.
 
A blind man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, "Hey, do you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender leans in and says, "Sir, because you're blind, I'm going to offer you some advice. The blonde lady in the corner is Holly Holm, she is a trained MMA fighter. The two blonde girls in the booth are professional tag team wrestlers. The blonde at the end of the bar is an off duty police officer, and me, I'm blonde and I always keep a large baseball bat behind the counter and I am having a very bad day. Now, do you still want to tell a blonde joke in here?" The blind man thinks about it for a second. "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it 5 times."
 
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