Joke thread

The only things open at 3:30 am are hospitals and legs.
 
I had seen this before, but I just came across it again. A wiseacre joke.

"Little Johnnie was having a bad day so, he came home and kicked the cow, the pig , and one of the chickens.
To teach him a lesson, his mother said, “No bacon, no eggs, and no milk for an entire week…only dry cereal!”
His dad came home very tired and frustrated from work. And when the cat attacked his shoe, the father kicked it.

Little Johnnie looked at his mom with a big grin and said, “You want to tell him or should I?”
 
Why did the Jewish man cry after his wife died in a car accident?

because he just filled up the tank
 
"25 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash."
 
I have a joke for you... The government is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently.
 
Tone C said:
Or

" I'm from your Government and I'm here to help."
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
A bat was flying around during daytime. He must have been a bit batty.
(I like bat flight a lot).
 
Fedorgasm said:
What's sad about this joke is that it doesn't age well.

It was my favorite joke for a while but now there are full grown adults that have no idea who Christopher Reeve is.
Click to expand...
That, and one of my best friends is a quadriplegic.
 
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