Yes, I know dogs are awesome. I know you love them. I know I'm a terrible person. I know that most dogs are better than most people.
I just don't think they should be in cities.
I'm tired of living a world filled with dog poop. I live across the street from a wonderful park, it's huge and green and has trees, and I'd love to relax in the grass, but I can't. It's always full of dog poop. There's so much poop I don't like walking across the park, let alone sit where poop will almost certainly be. I remember playing football in the park, diving to catch a pass, and sliding my way through a steaming pile of poop, and there my day ended, with tears and screams.
Spring in the country is beautiful as the snows recede, the leaves bud and unfurl in the gentle sunlight, and the birds sing their sweet songs. In the city, spring is a river of dog poop soup as the frozen poops of the winter months thaw and liquefy and turn the city brown.
Too many people leave the poops where they drop. You had your chance to do it right, you blew it, take your dogs out of the city and fertilize the villages and hamlets instead. Or, if it's REALLY important to you, police the matter yourselves. If you own a dog, take your little plastic bags and tiny shovels and spend a few hours a day combing the city for poops. If you see someone walking away from their pile of puppy poop, scoop the poop and throw it at them. It's the least you can do.
I really like dogs.
But I really hate poop.
AND IT'S EVERYWHERE.
