I'm Gonna Be a Prison Guard

[Hans Gercmiov]

My nephew is a guard. He gets fucked with hard.

 

[rocketskates]

Be in good shape.

Don't intentionally be an ass or punk the inmates or they will turn on you.

Be "firm but fair", don't let them walk on you but as I said before don't punk them or be brutal to them or they will never respect you.

Just a few things. When you first get in they will know that you are new. Criminals have this sixth sense at sniffing out rookie prison guards and rookie cops. Just play your cards right.

If you want them to listen to you whipping their ass or something along those lines will not work. These guys have been in tons of fights and it's nothing for them to take an ass kicking. Instead, take away their haircuts and commissary.

 

[JSN]

Yeah I'm talking about the coworkers not the inmates.

But TS said he's working in a max security prison, so I'm assuming a USP. Honestly I still think that's better than an FCC though, where you might have higher risk inmates mixing with lower risk guys. Situations where everyone is a higher security level tend to be easier than ones where more dangerous guys are looking to victimize the weak and inexperienced

I could be wrong, but I believe that OP is Canadian. I didn't realize they had prisons up there to be honest.

 

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

Where you gonna be working? Federal or state or what?

I'm a deputy sheriff who's worked in jails before so I have some experience in this, but different environments vary a lot.

Edit: if you'd prefer you can PM me

Is that a pit in your AV?

 

[God_Emperor_Of_Mankind]

I could be wrong, but I believe that OP is Canadian. I didn't realize they had prisons up there to be honest.

They do, it spans the entire country.

 

[chubbman]

Be in good shape.

Don't intentionally be an ass or punk the inmates or they will turn on you.

Be "firm but fair", don't let them walk on you but as I said before don't punk them or be brutal to them or they will never respect you.

Just a few things. When you first get in they will know that you are new. Criminals have this sixth sense at sniffing out rookie prison guards and rookie cops. Just play your cards right.

If you want them to listen to you whipping their ass or something along those lines will not work. These guys have been in tons of fights and it's nothing for them to take an ass kicking. Instead, take away their haircuts and commissary.

like this guy said, they'll know you are new and they will ALL come to you asking for this, that, and the other. DO NOT say yes or that you will do something for them if you are not or are unable to do it.

 

[Hattori]

Be sure to tell the inmates you're now 6'; they'll be sure to respect you then.

And a brown belt in Sherdog

 

[marioh]

make sure to fill the cell block with uppercuts to establish your dominance.

seriously, good luck. seems like a shit job that isn't remotely worth it.

 

[Jesus H. Sherdog]

Is that a pit in your AV?

She's a mutt, lots of breeds mixed

 

[Exi]

I could be wrong, but I believe that OP is Canadian. I didn't realize they had prisons up there to be honest.

Yeah, up here we are very humane. The guards here are required to dress in drag and give out blow jobs to stressed out inmates. We take public service seriously.

 

[JAEGERX]

do you get a gun? a real gun? i still to this day i am amazed how prison guards do not carry lethal weapons, i understand that its for security purposes but cmon you are in there outnumered with rapists and murderers with a fucking pepper spray

 

[MarcoW]

do you get a gun? a real gun? i still to this day i am amazed how prison guards do not carry lethal weapons, i understand that its for security purposes but cmon you are in there outnumered with rapists and murderers with a fucking pepper spray

if i work a post like a tower or entrance way i get a firearm

 

[Exi]

if i work a post like a tower or entrance way i get a firearm

You should get this tattooed on your hand so fuckers know whats up.

 

[Bat Dad]

So I got hired to be a prison guard.
It sounds pretty intense, I have to move across the country but will more than double my salary.
First I have to graduate training, which takes 3 months.
So what should I expect? I know a bunch of you doggers have been in the slammer.
Don't throw shit at me.

expect to be pissed on
have shit thrown at you
have men tell you they have aids and try to bite/scratch you
expect to see prison rape
and all sorts of fun

i worked central booking in nypd
spent much time at rikers

you couldnt pay me 250k a yr to work there

prison guards have a super high rate of suicide and alcoholism

im not trying to make you not take it

oh wait i am
you will live to regret it
trust me the job is not worth the money

 

[MarcoW]

expect to be pissed on
have shit thrown at you
have men tell you they have aids and try to bite/scratch you
expect to see prison rape
and all sorts of fun

i worked central booking in nypd
spent much time at rikers

you couldnt pay me 250k a yr to work there

prison guards have a super high rate of suicide and alcoholism

im not trying to make you not take it

oh wait i am
you will live to regret it
trust me the job is not worth the money

i may not work there forever
but at the very least i need the experience
my resume is meh
Hopefully i will enjou it nore than everyone is suggesting.

 

[Bat Dad]

i may not work there forever
but at the very least i need the experience
my resume is meh
Hopefully i will enjou it nore than everyone is suggesting.

there is literally nothing to enjoy about being a prison guard
nothing

 

[DoomPatrol]

So I got hired to be a prison guard.
It sounds pretty intense, I have to move across the country but will more than double my salary.
First I have to graduate training, which takes 3 months.
So what should I expect? I know a bunch of you doggers have been in the slammer.
Don't throw shit at me.

You're making a huge mistake. You're going to get piss and shit thrown on your face for minimum wage. You're going to deal with people who would cut your throat for the simple fact that you're a CO. Is minimum wage really worth that risk to you? Go be a bartender or work in construction. You'll make better money, people will respect you, and you won't get piss and shit thrown in your face in the morning for no reason.

Nobody respects cops or corrections officers. If you really want to do something, go be a firefighter or an EMT. People actually respect them.

 

[MarcoW]

You're making a huge mistake. You're going to get piss and shit thrown on your face for minimum wage. You're going to deal with people who would cut your throat for the simple fact that you're a CO. Is minimum wage really worth that risk to you? Go be a bartender or work in construction. You'll make better money, people will respect you, and you won't get piss and shit thrown in your face in the morning for no reason.

Nobody respects cops or corrections officers. If you really want to do something, go be a firefighter or an EMT. People actually respect them.

well ill be making $31 per hour, we pay our employyes decently here in canada.
hard to find something else that pays that well ive been trying.

 

[Exi]

well ill be making $31 per hour, we pay our employyes decently here in canada.
hard to find something else that pays that well ive been trying.

In Canad that is a good wage, plus benefits, nice.

Watch this a few times and you will be ready.

 

[MusterX]

Don't be that asshole.