• Xenforo Cloud is upgrading us to version 2.3.8 on Monday February 16th, 2026 at 12:00 AM PST. Expect a temporary downtime during this process. More info here

I'm Gonna Be a Prison Guard

Always keep your back to a wall or another guard. If you are hurt or killed, it will be because you didn't see it coming. Even when you are detaining someone, keep your back against the wall. It's counter-intuitive because you will want to throw their face against that wall, but don't. You'll be exposing the most vulnerable parts of yourself to everyone else, and that will be the time for a bad guy to strike. Defense, defense, defense. If you do that, you'll prevent everything you can prevent.
 
Let them know you will not hesitate. They dont care about how nice you are. You are there to get a paycheck and stay alive thats it.
 
Couldn't pay me enough to do corrections.

Stay in shape, get some martial arts background too and watch your six. Complacency kills and in a prison setting they have nothing but time to plan an ambush.
 
Awesome read:

Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing
by
Ted Conover

tc_and_sing_sing_wall_and_tower.jpg
 
Best of luck, man. It's a rough job and one I know would've been especially rough on me. Some options to think about:

1) Be a go-getter in terms of career-wise. Volunteer and/or ask about every school you find or get told about. Getting into specialized units (gang investigation units are looked at as very big deal.) Transferring to regular LEO (a better job imo) is easier with a fat resume and time in the pension is time in the pension.

2) Live within your means. Chances are, you're going to work lots of overtime whether you want to or not. Treat that money like it's not there (if you can) but be sure to make the most of your time off (family vacations and such.) It's going to suck when you're looking at the door and there's that much more income to make up or, as some have mentioned, what gets taken in any future divorce.

3) Among the prisoners, speak softly, stick to regulations and drop the hammer of the gods when it's necessary. It's a different world but "fair" is pretty much respected. See a problem, solve a problem but don't let any of it, good or bad, be about you.

Best I got for now.
 
The pay seems low. Consider dealing drugs and taking pay-offs. Thats where the real money is.
 
Get used to these 2 words.

Dirty Protest.
 
So I got hired to be a prison guard.
It sounds pretty intense, I have to move across the country but will more than double my salary.
First I have to graduate training, which takes 3 months.
So what should I expect? I know a bunch of you doggers have been in the slammer.
Don't throw shit at me.

i don't know anything about that line of work, but i'd be scared as hell. these are the worst of the worst you're dealing with. i wouldn't do that kind of work unless i absolutely had to.
 
Start submitting your application for other law enforcement jobs. If I was you, I'd get out of the prison as soon as possible. I couldn't see making that a career to retire from.

Good luck and if you ever find yourself in a life threatening situation, tell them you know @Clippy from Sherdog and those prisoners will leave you alone.
 
Last edited:
Prison's a tough gig bro. You could use a friend. I'll put in a good word with my Uncle Paco if you just drop off a little care package, comprende?
 
So I got hired to be a prison guard.
It sounds pretty intense, I have to move across the country but will more than double my salary.
First I have to graduate training, which takes 3 months.
So what should I expect? I know a bunch of you doggers have been in the slammer.
Don't throw shit at me.
Excellent - good luck...you'll either love it or you'll hate it. I worked 18 years with the US Marshals service before becoming an attorney.
 
I know three prison guards. They all struggle with the culture and politics. It's a job that is very hard on your mental state. I will tell you now, you are not going to get trained well enough, or receive the compensation that you should get with that type of work. I would rather remove asbestos for a living, as I value my health lol.

Don't get sucked into the culture of your job and use whatever health plan your job has right from the get go, particularly focus on mental health. From my experience of working security of various types and having an inordinate amount of exposure to law enforcement, I highly recommend always maintaining a high level of professional conduct and never engage in degrading and dehumanizing anyone as a means of control no matter the justification. The most effective way to govern in those positions is to enable others to govern themselves by demonstrating civility, firmness and fairness. You can be personable without taking things personal. Always exemplify the highest code of conduct even when everyone else is doing otherwise, as you will ultimately have the moral high ground that can even surpass your superiors. You need everyone to know you are strait, fair and a man of your word. In every situation you will need to use discretion and adapt your message as required, but ultimately the potential outcomes for non compliance are made clear, and that you mean business. One of the worst things I have seen security and law enforcement professionals do over the decades, is to forget the power of appealing to one's mind, or person as a means to govern, and to let them walk away on their own terms with their ego's intact. Now that's power. As soon as there is a fixation on power over others, you are locked into a pattern with predictable outcomes, that the inmate will feel obliged to engage in for the sake of their own sense of self value and identity.

Just be like @Lethal bro
@Tachy can you go ahead and sticky this in the mod booth for the new blues to read?
 
Respect TS. A fucking risky job that requires capable, mentally and physically strong people.

Don't know if this would even come up in training but I watched a prison show where a guard was attacked with a knife on his Achilles. He was ruined athletically. I would just be paranoid about that and would probably wear mesh protectors under my socks.
 
Federal, in a max institution.
So yeah it will be tough for sure. I'm going to put all my focus into the training to make sure I'm as ready as I can be.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you acquire this job? Do you have a bachelor's in a related field?

EDIT: I was unaware you are Canadian. Still, pretty impressive to get hired on in the federal system without experience in the field.
 
Back
Top