If you had an Illegitimate child

[ICHEERTHEBULL]

I have a uncle who it turns out is not my uncle. He is actually my great aunts son. Not sure of the background but in that day and age in Ireland women who were pregnant out of wedlock usually got sent to live with a bunch of nuns and the child would be 'raised' by the church. Rather then go that route my grandparents raised him as their own. Different times as one poster said.

More on topic but I have no respect for people who choose to deny their child just to keep their life from facing difficulty. Who remembers when maradonna was taken to court to pay child support that he had refused? after the case he told the media 'they can make me pay for him but they can never make me love him' what a cunt. Pele did the same

 

[irish_thug]

Being an "illegitimate child" myself, I tend to think I would go pretty far to stay in the child's life.

 

[Doughbelly]

Btw, as one who's not a native English speaker, I kind of have to ask here. In common conversation, when people are using terms such as "illegitimate child" or "born out of wedlock", are they usually using the dictionary definitions, or does it have a broader colloquial meaning as in "outside of a relationship"?.

Well, technically, it's born out of wedlock. Illegitamate as a term means someone who is not entitled to your inheritance. In the context of the TS, I think she means during an affair while married but I answered in the technical sense - a child not within the bounds of holy matrimony.

tnQUOTE="22k, post: 113897047, member: 170099"]what if some of them are the ol 'dog themselves?

[/QUOTE]

In doubt it. I'd be surprised to know that any Doughbelly Jrs have consistent electricity, much less internet access and be a Sherdog lurker. Just another mzungu chinois.

Besides, except for a handful of guys in Mayberry and a bunch of old school guys in F11 and F12 that I've trained with on the mats and in the ring, no one knows who I am. I suppose if someone really wanted to get their deersatalker cap on, it'd be possible but I consider that even less plausible than the likelihood of Jr Doughbellies running around.

OTOH, I invite anyone who thinks that I might be their father to get in touch with me. You're in for a disappointment.

 

[MaureenCretis]

I'd be okay with it, because I've only slept with my wife since 2000, so they'd be near or past the age where I'd have to pay child support.

 

[Banchan]

Btw, as one who's not a native English speaker, I kind of have to ask here. In common conversation, when people are using terms such as "illegitimate child" or "born out of wedlock", are they usually using the dictionary definitions, or does it have a broader colloquial meaning as in "outside of a relationship"?

I think because less people are getting married before having children , the unmarried part alone of the definition is not really current to reflect the times . Because in the past , it was scandalous to have a child in any circumstance without being married . But in the present time , couples can be very much together without being married . I think more accurately in the present time an illegitimate child is one who is born in less than ideal situation for all involved . The father and mother are unlikely to be together or stay together or in a commited relationship . So think a one night stand , a sex buddy , an affair , a person you are casually seeing and aren't sure about spending your life with , that sort of thing where the child is probably unwanted and unlikely to grow up in a loving home with a mom and dad .


I wanted the question to be challenging to figure out why the Tom Jones's of this world just turn their back on their illegitimate child . So i'm using evey possible worst scenerio i could think of such as asking if the child was the result of an affair or cheating so the implications of the truth wouldn't just effect you but completely innocent parties that would be gutted by your actions such as your wife and the kids you already have , maybe other members of your family would be very disappointed such as your mom and dad , your boss and people at work think your a philandering jerk , and maybe you have some noteriety and this would ruin your reputation and destroy your career . Basically everyone in your life would think you're an asshole , liar , scumbag and your marriage and financial stability would crumble around you for you to be a man and take care of this kid . What would you do ?

 

[Pimach]

It wouldn't surprise me if someone showed up on my doorstep to shoot me for not being there when they were a kid.

 

[Deleted member 409801]

I did have an " illegitimate " child when I was 20. She's been living with me since she was four and is almost 16 now.......so I'd go pretty far to include my child in my life. Why wouldn't you?

 

[hasar]

Any man that turns his back on his kids isn't a real man.

Lebron's father is unlucky. Iverson's too.

 

[ralphc1]

My extended family has been made aware of at least 3 children born out of wedlock. One was the son of my mothers uncle whose children found his family after the out of wedlock son died and 30 years after my mother's uncle died. Nobody knows if my mother's uncle ever knew about him. He would have been born in the 1920s before that uncle was married.

My father's oldest sister had a child that she gave up for adoption in the 1940s. Nobody knows if any of the rest of her family knew about it as they were all deceased by the time they found her other children.

My father's younger sister's husband had a child out of wedlock prior to their marriage but again they don't know if he ever knew about the child.

All three of these found out about their families through internet searches that found the names in obituaries.

I could have children that I don't know about.

 

[FreddyFingers]

If you had an illegitimate child , how far would you go to include that child in your life ? Let's say you're married and your wife will be very angry and may even leave you if she found out you cheated and you and her have got kids and this may ruin your life . So how much of your current life would you risk ruining to carve some relationship with this child ?

Tough decisions . Gone are the days that babies meant marriage , some simply just vanish on that kid . I was reading about Tom Jones's son . Tom Jones is an older generation singer that is said to have had tons of female admirers and one night stand affairs . One of these affairs resulted in a son that he has never seen or shown any interest in knowing . The mother sued and got child support and the story was all over the media so his wife probably knew about it . His son is now an adult and despite many attempts to connect with his father , he never got a reply . I feel this is kind of heartless because the cat is all out of the bag so it's not like a secret anymore and he already paid child support , so what does he have to lose by meeting his estranged son ? I wonder about the psychology there . The only thing i can think of is that he is afraid his son will ask him for more money or something money related since he is a celebrity but still i think it's pretty heartless to reject him by not meeting him at all . He could at least meet him first and see if money was the motivation i would think .

Anyway , 1/3 of American children have no father living in the home and many of which have little or no relationship with their father at all and this figure is rising everyday that goes by .

So would you or wouldn't you risk everything you have now to be in that kids life by ruining your current family dynamics by telling them about your other kid (and possible cheating) to be in their life ? Or would you sacrifice a relationship with that kid to save the family you already have by not telling about the child and having no relationship with them at all ?

If I had a illegitament child I would name him Jesus and start a religion and reek War.

War, blood, death distraction and distruction.

Yea that's what I would do.

 

[ThinkGreen]

I would not turn my back on a child that I created. If my "wife" was going to divorce me for that then that is not the type of woman I want to be married to.

 

[Gutter Chris]

I would not turn my back on a child that I created. If my "wife" was going to divorce me for that then that is not the type of woman I want to be married to.

Yea your wife would be the bad guy for leaving a dude who cheated and got another chick preggo

 

[ThinkGreen]

Yea your wife would be the bad guy for leaving a dude who cheated and got another chick preggo

Ah guess I missed the cheating part. So I cheated on her while we were married and then had a kid? Yeah, probably shouldn't be married anyways at that point. If I cheated on my wife I would come clean or divorce her since clearly I'm not happy.

 

[FierceRedBelt]

If it's sub-seven years old I'd do my best to raise the child just the same as I would raise a legitimate child.

If I found out about the child afterwards I'd just try to be a constructive part of the child's life and ensure he or she receives a proper education both inside and outside of school. There's no way to make things right but I'd be sure to field all of their questions and I'd let them know the truth about me and their mother and why things worked out the way they did. Their life is going to be rough and there's no way I can change that but I'd let them know there's light at the end of that tunnel and it's worth fighting for.

 

[ROKKO]

If I was married then cheated and had a kid I would hide it from my family and avoid contact with the kid. 100%.


I'm actually a great guy but you are asking an honest question so it deserves an honest answer. I like the question Banchan. I hope you bring other serious ones to the table.

 

[Mike]

Btw, as one who's not a native English speaker, I kind of have to ask here. In common conversation, when people are using terms such as "illegitimate child" or "born out of wedlock", are they usually using the dictionary definitions, or does it have a broader colloquial meaning as in "outside of a relationship"?


Well, obvs.

Well when I was growing up it was still pretty frowned upon, although the poor treatment you would get for it had become a little more subtle. These days though, there are too many broken homes and kids born out of marriage for the stigma to persist. Your more likely to hear someone use the term baby momma then illegitimate child.

 

[Buff]

Lord knows I've probably got enough of them scattered around the globe... My way of dealing with it is just to keep in trucking and never return to the scene of a crime.

 

[FierceRedBelt]

Lord knows I've probably got enough of them scattered around the globe... My way of dealing with it is just to keep in trucking and never return to the scene of a crime.

I spend a ton of time around former sailors who echo that sentiment but I'm not sure they're living in reality about the situation. I do wonder if the the genetic profile of populations around the big Navy ports has been effected by sailors sleeping around.

 

[Dizzy]

Well I don't have a family so an illegitimate kid wouldn't be as much of a problem. But playing hypotheticals, if I slept with someone else while I was married and they decided to keep it, I couldn't imagine a scenario where I would pick having that kid in my life over my family.

Some financial support would likely be the extent of it.

 

[Buff]

I spend a ton of time around former sailors who echo that sentiment but I'm not sure they're living in reality about the situation. I do wonder if the the genetic profile of populations around the big Navy ports has been effected by sailors sleeping around.

I read a really interesting article on wiki about the prostitutes in Korea... Short answer is yes, but the kids suffer from stigma, especially the half black kids, because they're obviously sex worker kids from the war, so work options are limited and most of the girls end up hooking themselves... Real fucked up... The government made so much money that they kept the "juice bars" open and the GI's kept going back so it's still big business... For some reason I can't post the link but it's well worth a read. Dark as fuck.