If you had an Illegitimate child

[lsa]

There's a rumor my grandpa has like 8 kids with some other lady and completely cut contact with them. Lost some respect for him when I found that out, wish I never knew that TBH.

Well that is hard to find out.
There is nothing worse than finding out bad stuff about parents or grand parents.
I found out (after he died) that my grandpa was an mean alcoholic and really nasty to other people.
It really hurt since he was such a nice kind old man to me.

 

[Stargazer Rex]

Well that is hard to find out.
There is nothing worse than finding out bad stuff about parents or grand parents.
I found out (after he died) that my grandpa was an mean alcoholic and really nasty to other people.
It really hurt since he was such a nice kind old man to me.

Yeah, he was always a good guy to me. He straightened me out when I was a teenager and helped me learn what was really important in life.

 

[lsa]

Yeah, he was always a good guy to me. He straightened me out when I was a teenager and helped me learn what was really important in life.

And as a kid teenager these people mean a lot to you.
They are like parents but not parents. Grandparents (good ones) are the bomb to have.
Finding out shit about them later.. that really hurts.
And the life lessons you learn and then later learning they did not follow it them self.
That just sucks.

 

[llperez22]

Family is family and unless they do something to earn a boot from your life they should be in your life. If your wife has a problem with it then you married a cunt.

In the case of having a kid because u cheated or if u knew you had a kid but the kid didn't try and come around until after you married so u just ignored it until now, then the wife is absolutely not a cunt for having a problem with the situation. If she decides to leave the man then that's on the man for his actions not her.

 

[ironwolf]

There's a rumor my grandpa has like 8 kids with some other lady and completely cut contact with them. Lost some respect for him when I found that out, wish I never knew that TBH.

My mom found out that she had a half sister when she was like 48 years old. My grandpa was a doctor and he would go to Guatemala to do Doctor shit (because he was 1/4 Guatemalan). I he's he smashed some chick while he was on one of his doctor trips and had a daughter who he had been supporting all along and was able to keep to totally secret for a long ass time. Even when my grandparents got divorced that wasn't part of the reason. When he found out he had cancer and wasn't going to make it, that's when he told everybody.

Turns out the sister was dying of cancer because treatment in guatamala sucks so my mom and sisters all got her to the USA and got he cancer treated. Sort of s crazy story. Btw, my grandfather (rip) was a piece of shit, full on alcoholic, drug addict, cheater...also a war veteran lol.

 

[Simian Raticus]

I have a half brother who was the result of my dad cheating on my mum. My parents stayed together and my dad was involved in my half brothers life though it wasn't ever brought up and talked about in our house.

It was a fucked up situation that was the result of one of my dad's many mistakes but I do respect that he didn't turn his back and run from my brother. Later on in life I was able to meet and get to know him.

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

I would love to have kids so if I'm ever given the opportunity to find a great woman in my life then I would definitely want kids.

 

[Phelly2]

It's a really tough question.

And I think the only right answer is: Don't have illegitimate children. It's NOT that hard to do.

 

[Swiftie]

IMO, the moment you found out that you had a child, due to an affair, that's when you come clean to your current family. Why should the child have to live a life without his real father because he doesn't want to own up to his mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions and be a real man. It's better to come clean now and maybe you salvage your current marriage. The longer you wait, the less chance you have of doing this because you kept a secret. Good luck with your situation and I hope everything works out for you and the kid.

 

[scrubido]

In the case of having a kid because u cheated or if u knew you had a kid but the kid didn't try and come around until after you married so u just ignored it until now, then the wife is absolutely not a cunt for having a problem with the situation. If she decides to leave the man then that's on the man for his actions not her.

Obviously my response was geared towards having a kid hat you didn't know about before being married. If a dude cheats then he's the piece of shit.

 

[Iroh]

I'd eat them, like Cronus. Till my Zeus son comes to fuck my shit up.

 

[Irenaeus]

I'm not big on the term "illegitimate child" at all in this day and age, tbh. The whole term reeks of victorian values to me. Now, when it comes to answering the question at hand without just splitting hairs, if you're a father, you'd better be there for the child in some capacity, even if you're not living with it.

 

[AgentSmecker]

I'm not big on the term "illegitimate child" at all in this day and age, tbh. The whole term reeks of victorian values to me. Now, when it comes to answering the question at hand without just splitting hairs, if you're a father, you'd better be there for the child in some capacity, even if you're not living with it.

I'm not keen on it either. If I had a son born out of wedlock I'd be man enough to ensure his well being. That being said, he wouldn't be worthy of carrying the family name and I'd always introduce him as "The Bastard".

 

[Irenaeus]

Btw, as one who's not a native English speaker, I kind of have to ask here. In common conversation, when people are using terms such as "illegitimate child" or "born out of wedlock", are they usually using the dictionary definitions, or does it have a broader colloquial meaning as in "outside of a relationship"?

I'm not keen on it either. If I had a son born out of wedlock I'd be man enough to ensure his well being. That being said, he wouldn't be worthy of carrying the family name and I'd always introduce him as "The Bastard".

Well, obvs.

 

[Thurisaz]

If you had an illegitimate child , how far would you go to include that child in your life ? Let's say you're married and your wife will be very angry and may even leave you if she found out you cheated and you and her have got kids and this may ruin your life . So how much of your current life would you risk ruining to carve some relationship with this child ?

I'd do everything in my power to make that kid a part of my family. Kids should have a good relationship with their father.

It would be a mess for a while, but considering there would not be any kind of breach of trust, I believe our family would make it work.

 

[jmag]

It depends on the situation. I heard a therapist say that if they already have a family and a functional life, it may be more disruptive until they are older perhaps. I had a child by accident when I was around 20. It was a heavy partying atmosphere, disfunctional. The girl moved to another state where she had family and had the baby. We met up and tried to make it work, but it was all fucked up. She married and had other kids. We met again when the girl turned 18. I helped her some with college and we stayed in communication and visited over some years and she has done well.

 

[Slobodan]

I'm not keen on it either. If I had a son born out of wedlock I'd be man enough to ensure his well being. That being said, he wouldn't be worthy of carrying the family name and I'd always introduce him as "The Bastard".

Wasn't expecting the second sentence, lol'd hard.

 

[Big Tuppy Hole]

There's a rumor my grandpa has like 8 kids with some other lady and completely cut contact with them. Lost some respect for him when I found that out, wish I never knew that TBH.

It was a different time back then with completly different morals

 

[weed]

It's not completely outside the realm of possibility that there are some Doughbelly Jr running around somewhere I don't know about. Not very plausible, but not completely impossible. I'm not sure how I'd deal with a some kid showing up on my doorstep calling me Pop. They'd be on different continents and I'm not exactly easy to track down, so I think I'm safe. Ignorance is bliss.

what if some of them are the ol 'dog themselves?

 

[BearGrounds]

I'd never be in this situation, but if I were, I'd come clean to my current family and take it from there, accepting full responsibility and blame for my actions and the consequences of them. My wife would have the right to know the truth as would my children with her.