If you had an Illegitimate child

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Banchan, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. Banchan

    Banchan Banned Banned

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    If you had an illegitimate child , how far would you go to include that child in your life ? Let's say you're married and your wife will be very angry and may even leave you if she found out you cheated and you and her have got kids and this may ruin your life . So how much of your current life would you risk ruining to carve some relationship with this child ?

    Tough decisions . Gone are the days that babies meant marriage , some simply just vanish on that kid . I was reading about Tom Jones's son . Tom Jones is an older generation singer that is said to have had tons of female admirers and one night stand affairs . One of these affairs resulted in a son that he has never seen or shown any interest in knowing . The mother sued and got child support and the story was all over the media so his wife probably knew about it . His son is now an adult and despite many attempts to connect with his father , he never got a reply . I feel this is kind of heartless because the cat is all out of the bag so it's not like a secret anymore and he already paid child support , so what does he have to lose by meeting his estranged son ? I wonder about the psychology there . The only thing i can think of is that he is afraid his son will ask him for more money or something money related since he is a celebrity but still i think it's pretty heartless to reject him by not meeting him at all . He could at least meet him first and see if money was the motivation i would think .

    Anyway , 1/3 of American children have no father living in the home and many of which have little or no relationship with their father at all and this figure is rising everyday that goes by .

    So would you or wouldn't you risk everything you have now to be in that kids life by ruining your current family dynamics by telling them about your other kid (and possible cheating) to be in their life ? Or would you sacrifice a relationship with that kid to save the family you already have by not telling about the child and having no relationship with them at all ?
     
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  2. Flemmy Stardust

    Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

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    Damn girl.

    I couldn't tell you, honestly.
     
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  3. Mike

    Mike RIP Frankie

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    Any man that turns his back on his kids isn't a real man.
     
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  4. Banchan

    Banchan Banned Banned

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    If including that child in your life meant divorce and possibly minimal contact with the kids you share with your wife you would still risk breaking up your family to give the other child a relationship with his father ?
     
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  5. Doughbelly

    Doughbelly αlpha-nerdette, action scientist

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    It's not completely outside the realm of possibility that there are some Doughbelly Jr running around somewhere I don't know about. Not very plausible, but not completely impossible. I'm not sure how I'd deal with a some kid showing up on my doorstep calling me Pop. They'd be on different continents and I'm not exactly easy to track down, so I think I'm safe. Ignorance is bliss. :)
     
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  6. Mike

    Mike RIP Frankie

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    It's an extremely hypothetical situation but I'd like to think so. I'm not the type of person to cheat in a relationship anyway though, so this would not happen to me. In my mind other women don't even exist from an attraction standpoint when I'm with someone.


    If I did though it would be my mistake I wouldn't punish my kid for it. I grew up without a father, there's no way in hell any kid of mine would as well.
     
  7. WrestlinganJudo

    WrestlinganJudo Banned Banned

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    A real man would take responsibility for his actions.
     
  8. WrestlinganJudo

    WrestlinganJudo Banned Banned

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    My mother was the one that left while he was in Vietnam. Dad raise me when he got back.
     
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  9. John Wayne's Teeth

    John Wayne's Teeth Green Gucci Suit Platinum Member

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    I'd send him to the Nights Watch
     
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  10. ironwolf

    ironwolf Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    I wouldn't have cheated on my wife to begin with so this won't happen to me.

    Now if I foundnoutbtherebwas a kid from back before I was married...that would be really strange and I'm not really sure what I would do.

    It sort of depends on how old the kid is and why they are trying to make contact with you.
     
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  11. Doughbelly

    Doughbelly αlpha-nerdette, action scientist

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    I have an uncle who had an illegitimate child before he got married. I think there's only a handful of us on that side of the family (big family) who know she exists, much less has any contact with her.

    Her mother got married to another guy while she was young and she grew up calling that guy her father. She has a good life now and as far as I know has met a few times with her biological father. His wife and kids (my aunt and cousins) don't know that she exists. I don't think she wants to disrupt his life any more than he wants his life disrupted.

    If it happened to me, IDK. As a single vagabond-nomad-wayfarer type, I don't really have much of a family life to disrupt.
     
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  12. FeloniousMonk

    FeloniousMonk Red Belt

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    About as big of a piece of
    shit as someone can get, imo

    I know plenty dead beat dad's
    & even sadly a few mothers.
    I truly believe a huge undertow
    issue to all things is a poor
    familial environment. Not
    enough people are taught to
    love, let alone, reinforced with
    it in any way that can promote
    healing & growth...
     
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  13. Flemmy Stardust

    Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

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    Let's be honest, you're a piece of shit before you even decide what you're going to do in this situation.
     
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  14. Doughbelly

    Doughbelly αlpha-nerdette, action scientist

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    I've had this conversation with my drinking bros while getting hammered. I'd probably be a better dad than the lower classes of women who'd sleep with me. (No offense meant or implied towards your mother, of course.)
     
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  15. WrestlinganJudo

    WrestlinganJudo Banned Banned

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    My mother came from a very affluent family. Dad was raised by a single mom running a farm. Odd how things work out. Both Dads and Moms parents were immigrants. Mom left when I was 5, she talked to me on the phone once when I was 35. She had two more kids and abandoned them before they were 6 also.
     
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  16. scrubido

    scrubido Brown Belt

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    Family is family and unless they do something to earn a boot from your life they should be in your life. If your wife has a problem with it then you married a cunt.
     
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  17. Tankeray

    Tankeray The Progeny of Beast of Woe

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    He on that Steve Jobs shit
     
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  18. ObsoleteSoul

    ObsoleteSoul Don't pray. Act.

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    you take care of your kids. No matter the costs. You cannot control another's actions, so if your current wife doesn't have your back, that is on her, and out of your hands. You still care for your children. All of them.

    Though I don't cheat, so this is not happening to me.
     
  19. Rex Luger

    Rex Luger I can sniff that boot! Platinum Member

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    There's a rumor my grandpa has like 8 kids with some other lady and completely cut contact with them. Lost some respect for him when I found that out, wish I never knew that TBH.
     
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  20. ProBoxingInsidr

    ProBoxingInsidr Silver Belt

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    sounds like the mothers problem, not mine
     
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