I’m team ketchup.
Ketchup is like the Swiss Army knife of condiments—it can handle anything from fries to eggs, and even steaks if you’re feeling adventurous and want your meat to look like it’s been in a tomato fight!
With ketchup, you get what you pay for—a bright, bold flavor that never surprises you. Ranch? It’s like a box of chocolates, but instead of sweetness, you get a creamy mystery that might be too thick, too runny, or too garlicky. It’s a condiment roulette!
Ketchup is the open book of ingredients—tomatoes, sugar, vinegar. Ranch? It’s the secret agent of the condiment world, hiding its herbs and dairy in a creamy disguise. Who knows what’s really in there?
Leave ketchup out for a while, and it’s still ready to party. Ranch? Ten minutes on the counter, and it starts looking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie.
Ketchup is the universal peacekeeper—grab any bottle, and no one will start a fight. Ranch? It’s the condiment that causes family feuds. “I prefer Hidden Valley!” “No way, I’m a Primal Kitchen loyalist!”
Fries dipped in ketchup? A timeless classic. Fries dipped in ranch? You just lost a little bit of your cool factor. It’s like wearing socks with sandals—fashionably questionable.
Ketchup’s bottle design is the Picasso of condiments—an upside-down squeeze bottle that’s a masterpiece of engineering. Ranch bottles? They’re either the Hulk, pouring out way too much, or the Wimpy, barely a drop.
Ketchup is the global citizen—every country knows its worth. Ranch? Good luck explaining it to anyone outside the U.S. It’s like trying to teach a cat to fetch—a lost cause.
And finally, ketchup’s expiration date is like a rockstar’s—probably still fine long after it’s supposed to be gone. Ranch? It’s the condiment that expires faster than a New Year’s resolution.
