Food & Drink If you could only pick one condiment to use for the rest of your life, would it be ketchup or ranch?

[Bobby Boulders]

I'm just good with Cholula

 

[Yoricks Wisdom]

your mom

 

[TeTe]

If I had to choose between those two ranch for sure.

Ketchup is gross.

 

[TeTe]

Ketchup basically exists to appease the palates of 5 year olds. The only reason I would ever eat it is to cover up the taste of something more disgusting.

No kidding. To think there are adults that put that shit on hot dogs too.

 

[TheNinja]

Catsup

 

[Osculater]

your mom

You like Marmite

 

[Yoricks Wisdom]

Vegemite?

 

[nonoob]

Can't deal with Ranch, prefer Sriracha over ketchup.

 

[Osculater]

Vegemite?

Close

 

[Tone C]

Ketchup basically exists to appease the palates of 5 year olds. The only reason I would ever eat it is to cover up the taste of something more disgusting.

I'm British so , ketchup for me,....

 

[BEATDOWNS]

I am Canadian we have Ketchup chips for fuck sake. ha ha

 

[Osculater]

I'm British so , ketchup for me,....

Ketchup on a well done bean on toast

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

I can sell Ketchup Popsicles to a woman wearing white gloves.

 

[stevenandrew]

I’m team ketchup.

Ketchup is like the Swiss Army knife of condiments—it can handle anything from fries to eggs, and even steaks if you’re feeling adventurous and want your meat to look like it’s been in a tomato fight!

With ketchup, you get what you pay for—a bright, bold flavor that never surprises you. Ranch? It’s like a box of chocolates, but instead of sweetness, you get a creamy mystery that might be too thick, too runny, or too garlicky. It’s a condiment roulette!

Ketchup is the open book of ingredients—tomatoes, sugar, vinegar. Ranch? It’s the secret agent of the condiment world, hiding its herbs and dairy in a creamy disguise. Who knows what’s really in there?

Leave ketchup out for a while, and it’s still ready to party. Ranch? Ten minutes on the counter, and it starts looking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie.

Ketchup is the universal peacekeeper—grab any bottle, and no one will start a fight. Ranch? It’s the condiment that causes family feuds. “I prefer Hidden Valley!” “No way, I’m a Primal Kitchen loyalist!”

Fries dipped in ketchup? A timeless classic. Fries dipped in ranch? You just lost a little bit of your cool factor. It’s like wearing socks with sandals—fashionably questionable.

Ketchup’s bottle design is the Picasso of condiments—an upside-down squeeze bottle that’s a masterpiece of engineering. Ranch bottles? They’re either the Hulk, pouring out way too much, or the Wimpy, barely a drop Convert 600 km.

Ketchup is the global citizen—every country knows its worth. Ranch? Good luck explaining it to anyone outside the U.S. It’s like trying to teach a cat to fetch—a lost cause.

And finally, ketchup’s expiration date is like a rockstar’s—probably still fine long after it’s supposed to be gone. Ranch? It’s the condiment that expires faster than a New Year’s resolution.

Team ketchup all the way! It’s reliable, simple, and goes with anything. Ranch can be a bit too unpredictable, with its varying consistency and flavor. Ketchup doesn’t need to be pampered and lasts longer than most condiments. Plus, the upside-down bottle design is brilliant! It’s the universal condiment that everyone can agree on, while ranch tends to cause division. Ketchup just wins every time!

 

[Thepaintbucket]

Ketchup is amazing. I love consuming high fructose corn syrup in a bottle

 

[William Huggins]

I'm British so , ketchup for me,....

If you're really British and over the age of 5, you would've said curry sauce!!!

I've dispatched some agents to check your papers!!!!

Next thing you'll be saying is you don't drink Beer!!

 

[P0NYBOY]

HONEY

 

[Phlog]

Wtf, no it's mayonnaise!

Ketchup is a flavouring because your food tastes bad. Mayonnaise makes the taste of your food better. Ketchup is full of sugar, it's for people with the palate of a young child.

My second would be hot sauce. Salt I don't count, that's just part of cooking.

 

[VulcanNervPinch]

Ketchup, obviously
Just for use on fries, if nothing else

Ranch is so gross, I'd ban other people from using it, too. Just because.

 

[Tone C]

Next thing you'll be saying is you don't drink Beer!!

Unlike you cupcake, we don't all like drinking from a ginger beer .....