if you could come back as an animal...

land- a talking lion

air- an eagle that can shoot laser beams from its eyes

sea- a dolphin with human-like hands
 
honey-badger.jpg
 
Probably a Panda. Lazy fucks, get pampered all day, and they're not even interested in clunge so I wouldn't be living with this nagging shame over my sex life
 
Land - Cheetah (just try out my top speed)

Air - Parrot (I'd fuck with people and be like "he's right behind you")

Sea - Killer whale (murder some great white sharks and see if i can understand my fellow orcas)
 
Probably a Panda. Lazy fucks, get pampered all day, and they're not even interested in clunge so I wouldn't be living with this nagging shame over my sex life

Panda's are dicks
 
A sloth. Not much in the way of predators and spends most of its day sleeping and eating. Pretty sweet gig.
 
Condors live very high on the andes of south america, they are ugly as fuck but because they live so high is very rare that people hunt them or kill them, they just fly in peace, hunt and mostly nobody bothers them... seems like a great life to me

andean-condor-487200.jpeg
 
Land- Dog, like a sheperd in a K9 unit.
air-hawk or eagle
water-great white shark so nothing can fuck with me.

Actually all my choices are animals that are not to be fucked with
 
A Dolphin, an Octopus, a Kangaroo, or an Alpaca
 
Scratch that I want to be a shark with a freakin' laser beam on my head.
 
Great white or golden eagle, it would be a tough decision.

Probably great white, so I can see all the shit in the ocean.
 
Back
Top