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Help Me Understand This (Insane) Recent Encounter With A Female

I can't speak to that experience. But if you start nice and she never changes the tone then chalk it up to not being a good fit - if she doesn't like the nice version of you, so be it. Just like you can start flirtatious and still have her say you're not her type. No one gets every girl they want. Starting flirtatious just shortens your time investment before she makes her feelings clear.

I've been the nice guy and had plenty of girls up the ante. It was mostly when I in my late teens. But I've been very nice while being myself and had girls change the dynamic. Now, that's not the same as being friend-zoned. I was never friend-zoned because we weren't friends, I'm just nice. The 2 things aren't the same.
I'm pretty shy, and people find it off putting when your too quiet. Also a lot think, that I think, I'm too good for them, because of how withdraw I am. I fucked up recently after I had already had sex with a chick, by not calling and being distant the next time I saw her. Now how's that for a way to mess things up.
 
So I was pricing dog food in a supermarket in expectation of potentially buying a puppy for my kids. A girl was picking up some stuff for her own pup. We began to chat. I asked her if she might be willing to give me some tips on housebreaking as I have never done it before. She said sure. We exchanged numbers.

From a physical standpoint this female was not my "type". I am into girly-girls and this woman was more akin to a WMMA fighter. Tatted up and a little tough looking. But she did a nice job with her makeup and had what was obviously a fairly expensive nail job. And she smelled good. So, I guess, sort of a mixed bag.

I never reached out because, again, I had some conflicting feelings about my level of attraction to her. But about a week later she texted me. Just shared some brief, random shit - What she had had for lunch, sent me a pic of her (adorable) dog and a pic of her kids. She asked me if I had bought the puppy yet. I said "no" and that was about it.

Giving the whole thing some more thought I decided to text her the following day. I asked if she would like to come over to my place some night that week to hang out and talk. She said absolutely and showed up two nights later. We had some drinks and became more familiar with one another.

We talked about a range of issues but for the purpose of this post I am only going to share the pertinent piece. In telling me about her job she mentions that there was an older married guy she worked with whose nickname for her was "slutbags". He also called her "whore money" (a play on her name, Harmony). He also shared X rated memes with her on his phone almost daily. She told me how hilarious she found it all. Said she took no offense and was actually planning to eventually go on a fishing trip with this guy and several other men from work. She said she grew up as an army brat and knew how to be "one of the boys".

So, whatever. In my mind she loses points with this. But at least, I think to myself, she's not the kind of crazy, PC chick who is going to run to her HR because a man in her office compliments her dress. Maybe she's too far in the opposite extreme. If nothing else I feel like I have an accurate sense of where her boundaries are.

The evening ended. I made no moves and was not even slightly flirtatious. I was still completely on the fence about wanting to risk opening up that can of worms with this particular girl. Though she did strike me as cool and down to earth. As a thank you for her having come over and provided me with some housebreaking tips I thought it would be nice to give her a little gift. She had told me her astrological sign (which happened to be mine) so I ordered her a nice scented Sagittarius candle from Amazon and had it shipped to her house.

Between the time I ordered the candle and the time it arrived she and I shared a few more texts - about our kids, our schedules, the shut down, etc. She sent me some pics of her house and her backyard. She sent me some pics of a new smoker she had bought and a bunch of ribs she was soaking in preparation for it.

Anyway, the day she gets the candle she texts me and writes: Thank you so much for the gift. It's perfect. You are so thoughtful.

Attempting to deflect from the praise I decide to inject some levity: You're welcome. A girl can always use another vibrator. lol

She replies with what I assumed was a confusion emoji.

I write: Does the candle smell as good as the description made it sound?

She replies: I don't know. I haven't lit it yet.

But then I hear nothing else from her. A couple days later I text her and ask if she is free to meet me in the park that afternoon for a walk. No reply. I call her and get her voicemail and leave a brief message a couple hours later. She never texts or calls me back.

The next day I do get a text from her: I want to let you know that I intentionally did not respond to you yesterday. I found your text to me about the gift disturbing. It really creeped me out. I don't know whatever gave you the idea that you could say something like that to me. Please respect that I no longer want to communicate with you. Please do not call or text me in the future.

I replied: So the woman who thinks being called "slutbags" and "whore money" is hysterical was offended by a vibrator joke? Whatever. Enjoy your candle.

I cannot tell you HOW LIVID I am over this. (Maybe the fact I am making this long fucking post about it is the evidence.) NO WOMAN in my adult life has EVER accused me of being even slightly inappropriate - much less creepy to the point that they somehow feared interaction with me. I simply cannot wrap my head around this. I just can't let it go.

Can anyone out there shed light? Any insights from the men of the Berry? Thanks for letting me unload.
I read up to the word "vibrator" and thought to myself, "TS is such a dildo". Stopped reading after that.

I cannot tell you HOW LIVID I am over this. (Maybe the fact I am making this long fucking post about it is the evidence.) NO WOMAN in my adult life has EVER accused me of being even slightly inappropriate - much less creepy to the point that they somehow feared interaction with me. I simply cannot wrap my head around this. I just can't let it go.

Can anyone out there shed light? Any insights from the men of the Berry? Thanks for letting me unload.

Daym, 300+ replies, top of the lounge, I gave this wall-o-text another try.

TS, here's the troofs:
FB-IMG-1586668185839.jpg
 
Also what ts fails to understand is the crazy ones are the most fun, sadly he will never know.

Hmmm...That saying is quite overrated. It's like the whole thug/alpha male being more fun in bed than the regular/square dude. Even if she ends up being actually fun in the sack, trust me after a few experiences you realize that fun pussy is not worth your peace of mind. You can turn a boring chick into a fun one, but you sure can't make a crazy one become sane. Sometime you gotta skip on some pussy. When you put pussy on a pedestal, be ready to deal w all kinds of consequences.
 
I'm pretty shy, and people find it off putting when your too quiet. Also a lot think, that I think, I'm too good for them, because of how withdraw I am. I fucked up recently after I had already had sex with a chick, by not calling and being distant the next time I saw her. Now how's that for a way to mess things up.
Uhm, if you already had sex with her then "I'm too shy/nice" isn't the problem.
 
Hmmm...That saying is quite overrated. It's like the whole thug/alpha male being more fun in bed than the regular/square dude. Even if she ends up being actually fun in the sack, trust me after a few experiences you realize that fun pussy is not worth your peace of mind. You can turn a boring chick into a fun one, but you sure can't make a crazy one become sane. Sometime you gotta skip on some pussy. When you put pussy on a pedestal, be ready to deal w all kinds of consequences.
You don't need to tell me that, I'm still messed up from the last chick i slept with, and I knew what I was getting in for.
 
I'm pretty shy, and people find it off putting when your too quiet. Also a lot think, that I think, I'm too good for them, because of how withdraw I am. I fucked up recently after I had already had sex with a chick, by not calling and being distant the next time I saw her. Now how's that for a way to mess things up.

Being shy is not the worst thing in the world dude. Some chicks even dig it. It's just something you have to force yourself to work out of. I used to be shy too. It's kind of an insecurity to show who you really are. With work and time, you become less insecure and give less of a fuck. Shy or not, you have to still find a way to open up, give some of yourself and connect w people, otherwise it's a waste of time for everybody.
 
TS, just to put this in perspective, your “joke” was so terrible that a chick named slutbags wouldn’t sleep with you lol
 
I learned a long time ago that you set the tone from the very beginning and you never have these problems. If you want to fuck then you flirt from the beginning (not creepy flirt, just enough to keep the tone clear). You never play the chaste nice guy and then randomly up the ante because then girls feel misled. They were seeing you one way and now you're different. If you play it nice from the beginning then you have to stick with nice until she changes the tone.


I'm with you mate. I'm very much like this, in fact, I find flirting to be extremely difficult for me! I'm in or I'm not, it's as simple as that. If I meet a girl that is being flirty, I gauge the genuine interest as quickly as possible and if something smells wrong, I don't reciprocate the flirting whatsoever. I just talk to them normally and in fact, I even go out of my way to swerve the flirting in quite an obvious manner.
 
You don't need to tell me that, I'm still messed up from the last chick i slept with, and I knew what I was getting in for.

It happens Sherbro. You live and you learn. Sometime that lesson comes the hard way.
 
Uhm, if you already had sex with her then "I'm too shy/nice" isn't the problem.
Now that you mention it, there is a bit more to it than that. And it wasn't my lack of performance. She was fucking a few other people as well, and I think she was concerned that she would lose her little fan club if she kept sleeping with me, as they are all shit frightened of me.
Now this is all gonna sound pretty fucked but I'm gonna share it anyway, she was kinda with a friend of mine (or so he thought) but he was in the nut house and she came onto me one night, I wouldn't have fucked her out of respect to my friend, but everybody else already was, so I though ok then. The other fuckwit that was screwing her called my friend in the nut bin and dobbed me in. When he got out he asked me what happened and I told him. Long story short she is still fucking him because he provides her with meth and lets her walk all over him, she is still fucking the guy over the road for his money, and when his friend visits she's fucking him (the one she is still in love with, he makes $150000 a year and the rest of us are basically hobbos). The only one she's not fucking anymore is me, and not because I gave a damn about the rest, but because she was worried I would punch the prick she gets paid by (he's a nobgoblin). She wanted to keep me in the drawn like a sex toy and that wasn't happening.
 
Being shy is not the worst thing in the world dude. Some chicks even dig it. It's just something you have to force yourself to work out of. I used to be shy too. It's kind of an insecurity to show who you really are. With work and time, you become less insecure and give less of a fuck. Shy or not, you have to still find a way to open up, give some of yourself and connect w people, otherwise it's a waste of time for everybody.
People don't like seeing who I really am. I'm mostly about the violence and most chicks aren't down with that, even the ones that think they are.
 
I'm with you mate. I'm very much like this, in fact, I find flirting to be extremely difficult for me! I'm in or I'm not, it's as simple as that. If I meet a girl that is being flirty, I gauge the genuine interest as quickly as possible and if something smells wrong, I don't reciprocate the flirting whatsoever. I just talk to them normally and in fact, I even go out of my way to swerve the flirting in quite an obvious manner.
If something smells wrong... Lol.
 
I'm with you mate. I'm very much like this, in fact, I find flirting to be extremely difficult for me! I'm in or I'm not, it's as simple as that. If I meet a girl that is being flirty, I gauge the genuine interest as quickly as possible and if something smells wrong, I don't reciprocate the flirting whatsoever. I just talk to them normally and in fact, I even go out of my way to swerve the flirting in quite an obvious manner.
For me it's the opposite. If a chick comes up to me and all of a sudden I can smell her box, I know I'm in. The nose knows.
 
For me it's the opposite. If a chick comes up to me and all of a sudden I can smell her box, I know I'm in. The nose knows.


Hahaha. Sorry, I meant if I can sense she's just throwing flirts around in general seeing who takes the bait, rather than directly targeting me.
 
People don't like seeing who I really am. I'm mostly about the violence and most chicks aren't down with that, even the ones that think they are.

<6>

Don't know what to tell you bro. Maybe change your ways?!
 
It happens Sherbro. You live and you learn. Sometime that lesson comes the hard way.

Some people are hard-headed. The thing I don't get is, what did TS think her reaction and response was going to be?
 
<6>

Don't know what to tell you bro. Maybe change your ways?!
Bit late for that. It is my very nature. It's a bit hard to pretend otherwise when I have scars on my head from butting people and a scar on my face from fighting a dog. It's all good, I just need to find me some violent bitches. Getting bitten and choked is the best part of sex. Now I probably shouldn't say this, but next time your getting head ask for more teeth, it will change your life.
 
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