Have you been attacked by a wild animal before?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by dildos, May 14, 2014.

  1. dildos Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    I saw on the news today and it was posted here, that kid getting attacked by the dog and the cat chasing that dog away.

    Made me start to think if I got attacked by any animals before. Pondering for a bit, I remembered this one time I got attacked by a mother fucking goose of all animals!

    So here is my story. We were out of town on a family trip when I was around 2-3 years old, this was with my parents and sister, then my mums whole family (2 uncles, 7 sisters and all their children bout 14 in total) it was a big family holiday. We booked out a few houses with multiple rooms to accomodate like 3-4 families per house.

    Me being the youngest always wanted to hang with the older cousins, the age range was me being 2-3 and the oldest being around 18-20. My cousins left me with my parents and the other aunts and uncles and they went to a jetty to go fishing in a kindda man made river. I was a bit bummed being left alone so I tried to go make my way to them. Now im just a little kid walking through some big tall grass making my way to where i can hear my cousins are, now i hadnt made it too far from the other family members I was with either. Out of no where, I hear this swooshing sound and I am knocked to the ground. I look up and there is this big mother fucking goose just honking at me, flapping its wings and trying to peck at my body. Well actually not trying to peck, it was fully just pecking me. This goose was a douch and wouldnt stop. I was crying and just laying on my back on the ground with it standing over me and pecking me relentlessly. The savage attack lasted for what felt like an eternity.

    Out of no where I hear this loud thud and a bit of a startled squak, then a few more loud THUD THUD THUD's, and the attack stopped and the douche of a goose flew away. Laying on my back I look up to see what ended this attack. It was my nana that I saw standing above me with a rolled up newspaper in her hand. She had come over my way when she heard me crying like a baby and she belted the goose in the head a few times with a newspaper. It was awesome.

    So sherdoggers, what stories do you guys have that you could share of a wild animal attack?
     
  2. DownwardStrike Purple Belt

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    Do wasps count? Otherwise no.
     
  3. Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

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    i got bit on the ass by a dog delivering pizza once.
     
  4. Kerr Smash Purple Belt

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    Ive been chased by a beaver on vacation in Colorado when I was a kid, when the beaver was about 20ft from me a swarm of bees started chasing me to. Worst day ever but I survived to tell my tale.

    And I've been bitten twice by random dogs (lived in the ghetto for majority of my life).
     
  5. Kevin Rudd Banned Banned

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    Birds, swooping and attacking me. Is not fun when you are camping and have just seen a giant black snake and are incredibly stoned and paranoid as a result.
     
  6. Scrody Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    Geese are assholes. I've been attacked by dogs before. Never had a wild animal try to attack me though. I get loud.
     
  7. RerouteToRemain Silver Belt

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    Lol a goose attacked my bro while we were fishing. I think he was 12. It landed and walked right up to him and it started honking at him. He tried to shoo it. It freaked and came after him, he damn near shat himself. He swung the pole at it, dropped the pole and then managed to touch it with teh jab(more like slap hook) while backing up. It was hilarious. Geese are vicious fuckers.
     
  8. WalkenWouldOwn Steel Belt

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    Saw some yellow eyes in the woods late at night. In a park called wolf den state park. Too dark to see it's body, but we got the fuck out of there.
     
  9. BareKnucklez** Banned Banned

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    Geese can be vicious. I was attacked by mosquitoes before if that counts? I also got stung by a bee. I'd like to think I could take on an angry dog if one attacked me.
     
  10. Jimmy Tuna** Red Belt

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    Hmm..all wasps are wild, so I'll say yes.

    I got stung 5-6 times at Sea World when I was 6. Got carried out on a stretcher.
     
  11. mushishi A is a, a is a, should I save her?

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    Yes. One time I was drunk at the club and I grabed this fat chick. She started hitting me.
     
  12. Josh Guest

    I've had close encounter/stare down situations with bear, Roosevelt Elk, and moose.

    Never came to blows though.

    I've also gotten into an altercation with a monkey, but I backed down when the monkey stood it's ground and bared it's fangs.
     
  13. Yellowking Purple Belt

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    Geese talk a big game, but when you run up on their asses and take one by the throat, they scatter like bitches.
     
  14. Gus Fring Brown Belt

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    Maybe this was in the first grade, way too long ago for me to actually remember. I was at my relatives' house where my uncles, aunts, and grandparents live. And suddenly, I felt the urge to grab a soda so I went into the backyard since that's where the fridge full of drinks were... All of a sudden a fucking Doberman starts barking at me and makes a full sprint at me in order to pounce on my ass. Piece of shit dog ran at me so fast that when he lunged at me for the bite he wound up taking a face full of a wooden fence when I dodged its first attack, ala Anderson vs bonnar. I ran in circles for my life, while the dog was biting at my shirt tail ( that's how close it was). About an entire minute later, more like ten seconds, my grandma comes out and beats the shit out of the dog with a frying pan.


    Where'd that dog come from? One of my fuckwit uncles decided to bring it home off the street and no one told me, a first grader at the time, that there was a dog in the backyard that could have possibly been aggressive to strangers.
     
  15. oFUNGUSo Red Belt

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    had gooses charge me and bite me when i was little while feeding ducks bread. hurt and scared me but i dont think i was in any real danger.

    otherwise, been quite lucky.
     
  16. DownwardStrike Purple Belt

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    Ahhhh...so that's why mine won't roll over when I tell it to.

    I hear you though. I fell into a bush containing a nest whilst retrieving a football aged 7, was not good.
     
  17. TeTe I know your kind and I know what you're up to Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    Was clawed by a crow once and bitten on the ankles by a pack of geese when I was a kid, that's about it.
     
  18. Scubamuppet Prom Night Dumpster Baby

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    Bit by what I presumed to be a snake I disturbed but didn't see while running. Didn't see what type it was. Only evidence that something happened was the sharp pain and two bloody puncture wounds on my lower calf.
     
  19. Bebop Brown Belt

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    was the dog subject to minimum wage laws?

    closest thing to being 'attacked' for me was getting stung by a bee and a bird shitting on me. i swear it was a guided poop.
     
  20. degoj99 Purple Belt

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    Stepped on a bee once.
     

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