Funny gym stories?

[Madmick]

Yo, Carnal, is that double yellow new or have I just not been paying attention?

What'd you do?

 

[yomon]

ok I was talking to some girl that i work with and she was bitching that she has no time for a workout after work ever......because..............you know..... you need atleast a Hour of cardio before your can work the weight machines!!!..........*SIGH* Interested about the details of this gym i continue to ask her if there was free weights at this gym, she replies " I don't know! Thats the boys side!" *Doubble SIGH*

some people are mentaly disabled

 

[CarnalSalvation]

"some people are mentaly disabled"

Yeah dude, we call em "women".

 

[JamieO]

Ok, i got one. so the other day (actually like 2 months ago) i walk in to my gym looking to head str8 for the only squat rack in there. unfortunately it was taken by 3 guys doing.... you guessed it..... curls. i sat and watched them for like 5 mins, then asked how much longer they were going to be on it. After they said only like "15 more mins." I asked, "well what else are you doing besides curls cuz you dont need the sqt rack for curls." Then one, the FAT black kid (TFBK) looked at me all pissed and said "were doin upright row after this what do you care." Great. i wanted to kick him in the gut.

So instead of telling him off i go do a mile on the track to warmup my legs. and come back and they are just gettin off teh rack. they the go right to the leg press machine which is right next to teh squat rack. Thats right, they spent 30 mins in a sqt rack, did no squats, then went to the leg press.... but thats not even the funy part. you see the leg press machine is WAY too close to the squat rack and TFBK kept getting in my way when i was squatting to add plates to the leg press. So im tryin for 300x3, not really payin attention to them gettin pumped for what for me is almost a max lift and on my way down on my 2nd rep, thud. hits TFBK right in ass, makes me fall over and sends the bar crashing down. Thank god im not an idiot and had pins in.

I got up PISSED. I wanted to kill TFBK, but apparently the 300lbs did a pretty good job on him. When he got hit by the bar he went right into the leg press machine and hit his head too. So just when i start to feel sorry for him and ask if hes ok, his to friends get all in my face telling me how dumb i was for using a weight i couldnt control blah blah blah. Now im not really a nice guy, but im pretty damn patient and usually keep a cool head, but these two guys wanted to fight me because their friend was an idiot. So I EXPLODED yelled every kind of insult i could at them and TFBK. Told them i would love to fight them and i would be right outside waiting and walked out. They never showed. apparently my friend who works there told them that im a trained fighter and that on top of the fact that im 6'2" 205 and they were like 5'8" 170 and 6' 170 made them slink out the back door. Im kinda happy though cuz my friend who work told me his boss woulda made him kick me out if i did fight. all in all, once i calmed down and blazed a pipe i thought this was hilarious.

 

[sleeper7777777]

I hav this lady in the gym i go to she looks just like mrs swan from mad tv but she is all man. she is like 50 and she only does free weights but she is by no mean muscular but when she does her shoulders she does like 50+ on everything including front lateral raise and no one wants to work out next to her for fear of being shown up

 

[WUchi]

i used to have that old thread bookmarked,, can anyone find it ?

 

[HULKAMANIA]

Today at the gym, some wrestler guy came in to do bench press. I watched him from the squat rack in between sets, and decided he had the ugliest form I'd ever seen. At the bottom of every single rep, he would slam the bar into his chest, heave it upwards, and hump the air with the most intense pelvic thrusts I've ever seen (insert gay porn joke here). I mean every time it was: *thud* *airhump* *thud* *airhump*.

So anyway he works his way up to about 240 on the bar, and I ask him if he needs a spotter. He's like, "yeah I think I do." So I said, "OK," and got behind the bench. That's when he tells me he's going for 8 reps. Spotting for those 8 reps comprised some of the most painful moments of my life. That bar pounded him so hard every time it went down that it made me cringe. The last five inches of every rep he just let the weight drop, and his sternum buckled something fierce under it. I'm CPR certified, but I would have been flat flunked from the course if I pressed someone's chest half as hard as he was getting it. I felt so bad for this dude.

An eternity later, he gets his 8th up, and he's sitting there all red faced and stunned, looking like a rape victim. I just muttered out a, "Good job, man," and walked back to the squat rack. When I finished up my set and looked for him again, he was gone. The barbell was still loaded, the weights he had on the floor were still there, but he was nowhere to be seen. He never came back either. I can only assume that he got medical attention in time. If not, I'm pretty sure he's dead.