Funny gym stories?

[Mark Limbaga]

Thre are always jackasses in a gym, no matter which one you go to. The funniest experience I had was when a curl jockey told me to wear a belt when I was deadlifting, but I saw his legs and they looked liked stilts.

 

[Mark Limbaga]

Add to that, roid junkies who can't lift for shit

 

[yomon]

I went to check out my school's gym for the first time last week and looked around. There were machines everywhere, treadmills, bikes, elipticals...and no free weights. I asked the manager, who is pretty big, where are all the free weights? He asked, "What do you want those for? We have machines out here." I said, "because I'd like to squat, and deadlift." He starts walking, tells me to follow him...and goes into a room. He turns on the light, says, "Welcome to the club brother." Bench presses, squat racks, GHR's, a leg press, a deadlift platform and dumbbells 5-100 lbs. He told me no one ever goes in there, or even asks about free weights, it got used so infrequently they keep the lights off and the door's usually closed. He said he uses it, along with a few baseball players, and some PLing guy. In the 3 years he's worked there, he said he's never seen more than 3 guys in there at a time.

thats awsome. it's like finding the secret door behind all the bs

 

[Lard-ass]

No way, I see pussies doing this all the time on leg presses, usually 4 measley plates on both sides and they are going about a quarter of the way down. One of these days im gonna hop on top of it until it crushes those skinney little bastards. They irritate the shit out of me.

I never heard anyone scream or grunt in a metrosexual gym, so...

 

[Alon]

My school weight room "teacher" former football star today when i was attempting to squat 285 and asked for a spot/critiquer, "We dont dooo one rep maxes here! We only do multiple rep maxes!" haha i thought that was kinda funny

I know of few people who only did multiple rep maxes, all clean & jerked so far below their squat that it didn't make a difference what they could do for a single (I'm talking 190kg's with a 5 rep max of 300kg)

 

[Brendon Katz]

I went to check out my school's gym for the first time last week and looked around. There were machines everywhere, treadmills, bikes, elipticals...and no free weights. I asked the manager, who is pretty big, where are all the free weights? He asked, "What do you want those for? We have machines out here." I said, "because I'd like to squat, and deadlift." He starts walking, tells me to follow him...and goes into a room. He turns on the light, says, "Welcome to the club brother." Bench presses, squat racks, GHR's, a leg press, a deadlift platform and dumbbells 5-100 lbs. He told me no one ever goes in there, or even asks about free weights, it got used so infrequently they keep the lights off and the door's usually closed. He said he uses it, along with a few baseball players, and some PLing guy. In the 3 years he's worked there, he said he's never seen more than 3 guys in there at a time.

awesome.

 

[creepingcharlie]

I think I'm the funny funny story at the gym.

*Flexes*
I mean!!! WHO rEAlly wanTS to MEss witH THese 11 inCH PYthONS!!!!!!!!!!1111oneoneoneone

No joke, though. I measured my arms to be 11 inches around.

 

[PariahCarey]

I think I'm the funny funny story at the gym.

*Flexes*
I mean!!! WHO rEAlly wanTS to MEss witH THese 11 inCH PYthONS!!!!!!!!!!1111oneoneoneone

No joke, though. I measured my arms to be 11 inches around.

That avatar of yours certainly says funny.

A pirate walks into a gym and he's got a steering wheel in his sweat pants and the dude behind the counter goes, " You know it looks like you got a steering wheel it your pants," and the pirate says "Arrrrrrrrrr, and its driving me nuts." Ok that was bad.

 

[Sean S]

That avatar of yours certainly says funny.

A pirate walks into a gym and he's got a steering wheel in his sweat pants and the dude behind the counter goes, " You know it looks like you got a steering wheel it your pants," and the pirate says "Arrrrrrrrrr, and its driving me nuts." Ok that was bad.

Uhg I want to shoot myself for laughing at that.

 

[rEmY]

I went to check out my school's gym for the first time last week and looked around. There were machines everywhere, treadmills, bikes, elipticals...and no free weights. I asked the manager, who is pretty big, where are all the free weights? He asked, "What do you want those for? We have machines out here." I said, "because I'd like to squat, and deadlift." He starts walking, tells me to follow him...and goes into a room. He turns on the light, says, "Welcome to the club brother." Bench presses, squat racks, GHR's, a leg press, a deadlift platform and dumbbells 5-100 lbs. He told me no one ever goes in there, or even asks about free weights, it got used so infrequently they keep the lights off and the door's usually closed. He said he uses it, along with a few baseball players, and some PLing guy. In the 3 years he's worked there, he said he's never seen more than 3 guys in there at a time.

The first rule of free weights is you do not talk about the free weights.
The second rule of free weights is you do not talk about the free weights.

seriously, thats awesome.

 

[grapling101]

Whats that shit with guys wearing the 1970's multi colored nut hugging shorts?

 

[cosism]

There is this one metro (of a few) at a gym I used to work out at. I was at Tower Records picking up the new Truckin' mag and a CD. There were 3 registers that you had to wait in line to get to. I wa at the front of the line of about 10 other people in it and one of the metro's looks like he is on meth, looking around all fast, dodgy eyed and shit, and cuts me off(doesnt wait in line) and slams his magazine down on the counter. I was ike WTF!?, and looked at all the other people in line and they are like, WTF too. I look back at this motherfuck and he is buying a GAYPORN mag, I swear to god. I started laughing uncontrollably and made a remark of why he was in suck a hurry. The other people in line strated laughing as well. He got embarassed, got his change and RAN out of the store. Funniest shit I have ever seen. After that, when I would lift with wife or one of my friends, I would poit him out and tell the story. Hilarity always ensues.

 

[Boondocksaint]

There is this one metro (of a few) at a gym I used to work out at. I was at Tower Records picking up the new Truckin' mag and a CD. There were 3 registers that you had to wait in line to get to. I wa at the front of the line of about 10 other people in it and one of the metro's looks like he is on meth, looking around all fast, dodgy eyed and shit, and cuts me off(doesnt wait in line) and slams his magazine down on the counter. I was ike WTF!?, and looked at all the other people in line and they are like, WTF too. I look back at this motherfuck and he is buying a GAYPORN mag, I swear to god. I started laughing uncontrollably and made a remark of why he was in suck a hurry. The other people in line strated laughing as well. He got embarassed, got his change and RAN out of the store. Funniest shit I have ever seen. After that, when I would lift with wife or one of my friends, I would poit him out and tell the story. Hilarity always ensues.

I was at Borders and this dude was buying a playgirl. He was telling the dude at the register how it was his buddy's bachalor party and he was buying it for a joke. After he left the register dude was like..."thats what they all say."

But that has nothing to do with the gym. Sorry.

 

[Henry Swanson]

I was at Borders and this dude was buying a playgirl. He was telling the dude at the register how it was his buddy's bachalor party and he was buying it for a joke. After he left the register dude was like..."thats what they all say."

But that has nothing to do with the gym. Sorry.

It really WAS for my buddy's bachelor party though!!

 

[satchmo]

The other day at the Y some skinny little high school kid came in from playing basketball and went to the free weight rack. He grabs a couple of 35lb weights and "attempts" to do curls. I don't know who he was trying to impress, but it looked awful. He was throwing his entire body into the curl. After a couple reps I guess he got tired of his full-body curls and went back to the basketball court. It got a good laugh out of everybody in there.

 

[Henry Swanson]

The other day at the Y some skinny little high school kid came in from playing basketball and went to the free weight rack. He grabs a couple of 35lb weights and "attempts" to do curls. I don't know who he was trying to impress, but it looked awful. He was throwing his entire body into the curl. After a couple reps I guess he got tired of his full-body curls and went back to the basketball court. It got a good laugh out of everybody in there.

I had a buddy who used to do that to impress some chick on the treadmill. He'd spend an hour doing endless sets of 20 lb. cheat curls!

 

[Wild Dan Hibiki]

Uhg I want to shoot myself for laughing at that.

ROFL same here

 

[Bizarro]

these arent too funny but something i saw these guys do was one time this guy, after finishing his set of smith machine squats, turned around to the mirror,looked around for a second, pulled his shorts up, and started checking the pump in his quads . And another time this skinny guy was talking with these two other guys wjith a pair of pink dumbells in his hand, and after he finished his conversation he started walking across the gym doing hammer curls with the dumbells.

 

[Boondocksaint]

Yesterday I was at the gym. This big black guy came up and wanted to work in on my flat bench. I started with 135, which he did fine. Then I'm like, "I'm going up to 185," and I did my set. Then he just laid down on the bench after me, so I guessed he was fine with that number. As soon as the bar came off, it crashed down on his chest. I quickly pulled it off him and re-racked it.

I think it was his first time benching, and that he just figured he could lift as much as a white kid smaller then him. I suggested that he take some weight off, which he did and then he did like 3 reps of 155.

For my next set I moved up to 205 and then he just walked over to the machines and did tricepts that rest of the hour, never saying another word. I felt really bad for him.

Either he was just really nervous, or he might have been kind of retarted.

 

[satchmo]

Yesterday I was at the gym. This big black guy came up and wanted to work in on my flat bench. I started with 135, which he did fine. Then I'm like, "I'm going up to 185," and I did my set. Then he just laid down on the bench after me, so I guessed he was fine with that number. As soon as the bar came off, it crashed down on his chest. I quickly pulled it off him and re-racked it.

I think it was his first time benching, and that he just figured he could lift as much as a white kid smaller then him. I suggested that he take some weight off, which he did and then he did like 3 reps of 155.

For my next set I moved up to 205 and then he just walked over to the machines and did tricepts that rest of the hour, never saying another word. I felt really bad for him.

Either he was just really nervous, or he might have been kind of retarted.

Lol, I've seen that kind of stuff happen a lot. Many a big man has been humbled at his first trip to the gym.