Funny gym stories?


Purple Belt
Jun 11, 2004
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I remember there was a thread here a while back with some classic stories of gym idiocy in it. Anyone got any new ones? I loved reading them.

I haven't seen anything totally stupid in the gym, yet - I've only been going 2 months so far.

Three mega-skinny guys came in one day and walked straight to a bench which had 80kg (176lbs) on it. Even though it's not much weight, there was no way any of these guys were going to be able to lift it. Even so, the skinniest guy proceeds to lie down, his mate helps him unrack it, and then... the guy just barely manages to put enough force under it to stop it crashing full speed into his chest. It then took the combined full effort of the "lifter" and spotter to get it back up onto the rack (they really strained to do this). All 3 of them then went and did curls for the remaining time I was at the gym (and no doubt even longer).

I've seen a guy wearing a belt while benching 60kg (132lbs).

The only other funny thing I've experienced is hearing one guy explaining how much better the leg-press is than squats because "he can lift more" on it.

Some guys here must have seen way funnier stuff?
Mega-skinny, lol.

Theres a lot of entertaining people at the gym doing stupid things. I used up my best stories on the last thread I started on this subject.
But sometimes I just laugh to myself when seeing those bb-steroetyped guys that looks like something from 1991, you know the type with short, tightfitting, striped hotpants, shaved legs, a tanktop split all way down to the belly, and of course with some black leather "fingerless gloves" and top of that, bleeched hair and a golden chain.

Those skinny guys are funny also. especielly those who sort of sneak along the walls using cables and machine, almost like they
I understand breathing hard and even a small grunt. But i love the crazy grunts you hear in the back of the room...that shit makes me laugh so hard i have to stop lifting
Grunting and screaming is part of the game, thats a sign that tells you
There's always a tonne of Abercrombie scarecrows at my gym, they even gel their hair before lifting.
There is this one guy at my gym who is kinda of a metrosexual. But given that I was A. probably straight B. at best a very butch gay, I didn't draw his attention.

And no, I don't differentiate between metro and homo. If you use "skin cream" (this doesn't include using lotion to spank the weasel or something to dry out or skin if you the acne, like most of you 111lb BJJ monkeys probably do) you're a :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:.
How the fuck did I forget this one;

There were two serious powerlifters in the gym yesterday and some guy went and asked them to use a bit of their chalk. They said that was fine.

Nothing so odd about that eh? Unless he was doing overhead press, on the smith machine, with 50kg (110lbs).
The funniest thing about my gym is that we have a 9 year old. Which means he hears us talk about strap-ons and transvestites and all sorts of weird shit.

My coach has trained him on a few parot like calls/responses like:

Stephen who's your hero? Charles Manson.
This is why I prefer working out at home.
Dude, if you think anything that happens in public is weirder/funnier than what goes on when I'm alone in my basement, you're wrong.

Oh, these testicular coils is itchin'.
Sonny said:
This is why I prefer working out at home.

Amen; I took one look round my local gym, tried talking about strength training with the manager, who incidentally was some fake tanned aussie with hair highlights who told me that you should never train heavier than half your body weight on deadlift for fear of back injuries and just left in disgust. Too many self-adoring prats in vests for me to spend any time there without killing somebody.
Dude, you said "prat". That alone means no normal person would want to be in a gym YOU were in. Take that.
the gym i go to is funny in itself...its an nyu gym, so the place is fucking purple to start with, its got one squat rack and 1 bench tucked away in the corner...and its always got a line. the rest of the gym is comprised of machines with touchscreens on them and dumbells under 75 pounds. at any given time, about 65% of the people in the gym are doing curls, the other 35% are girls on the machines. needless to say, there are no thickbars or other goodies like that to play around with. maybe its not even funny, just sad.

edited for horrible spelling.
I just go to the local Y. The other 2 gyms i could go to, one is too small and too expensive, other is huge but there are so many metro type guys there that ill just stick to the Y.
CarnalSalvation said:
Dude, you said "prat". That alone means no normal person would want to be in a gym YOU were in. Take that.

My god the pain, your agonizingly sharp wit.

Seriously, I cant help it, just one of the side effects of being british.
Carnal I lived 2 years with my best friend, who also happens to be the worlds bigest metrosexual, and he is the bigest pimp I know. He even got me to use his skincreams for a while. I dont know what but I got the urge to share this with you man.
I went to check out my school's gym for the first time last week and looked around. There were machines everywhere, treadmills, bikes, elipticals...and no free weights. I asked the manager, who is pretty big, where are all the free weights? He asked, "What do you want those for? We have machines out here." I said, "because I'd like to squat, and deadlift." He starts walking, tells me to follow him...and goes into a room. He turns on the light, says, "Welcome to the club brother." Bench presses, squat racks, GHR's, a leg press, a deadlift platform and dumbbells 5-100 lbs. He told me no one ever goes in there, or even asks about free weights, it got used so infrequently they keep the lights off and the door's usually closed. He said he uses it, along with a few baseball players, and some PLing guy. In the 3 years he's worked there, he said he's never seen more than 3 guys in there at a time.