For real, how well do you get on with your folks?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by EatMyShorts, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. EatMyShorts

    EatMyShorts Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    756
    When I hit "maturity" around 12 or 13, the bottom fell out of my relationship with my parents.

    I was a real mammy's boy before that too.
    I guess it was natural becoming a man to try and free yourself up from that.

    Up until I went to college at 17, it was brim and hell fire in my house as far as the relationship with my parents went.

    I had a pretty cool girlfriend for a couple years within that time though, so it wasn't all bad.

    After I left, I found it really difficult to find motivation to keep in touch with my folks.


    My folks, they raised me with two priorities in mind.
    1) To be civilized.
    2) To be ambitious.

    As a result of this, they were always supportive of me in what I did.
    They funded me through college.
    They supported me financially whenever I asked.
    Don't get the wrong idea.
    They didn't throw money at me for whatever I wanted.

    I never drank, I never smoked, I never indulged in spending sprees.

    It was financial support, by example, when I was moving overseas to start my new career after college.

    I've been gone about five years. Living overseas.

    Again, it's a struggle trying to stay in touch with them.

    My mother especially.
    This is gonna sound a little fucked up - maybe a little Freudian - but my mother speaks to me with a kind of sexual tone in her voice, and often conducts herself in a way toward me that I feel entirely unsuitable given she's my mother.
    This acts a massive repellant and really makes me want to completely exclude her from my life however I can.
    I mean, when that begins, immediately I look for an excuse to put the phone down.

    But, even with the rest of my family, I don't have great communication.
    We make an effort with each other, but it's never been easy.

    Outside of that, I feel I'm a good guy, a well balanced person.
    I have a great career.
    I'm independent.
    Train regularly and lift weights, in good shape etc etc.

    It's all a bit complex and a bit of a mess.
    I don't think it's going to inhibit me in my day to day life but, it's just funny how poorly my family relationships have went over the years and, they certainly show no signs of improving now.
     
  2. Dolomite

    Dolomite Red Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,149
    Likes Received:
    3,999
    I really can't give you any advice until we get a pic of mom.

    Seriously tho - don't wait until they're dead to speak your peace. It's all part of being a man.
     
  3. demoness

    demoness Guest

    The older you get the more you realise the importance of family.

    I get along really well with my parents, we are very close. My brother and I are great friends.
     
  4. IFightInVegas

    IFightInVegas The Bourbonator Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    4,224
    Likes Received:
    133
    My mom and I get along ok.. We talk, but don't see each other a lot.


    I've seen my dad once in the last 13 years.. Talked to him once in the last 10 or so. We have a weird relationship.

    We don't dislike each other.. We just don't talk.
     
  5. EatMyShorts

    EatMyShorts Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    756
    No no.

    There is peace.
    There's no overt problem.

    It's just, they're different to me.
    It's like, I was home about 6 months ago.
    When I walk into a room, either my old man or my sister or whatever, often they would just straight up ignore me.

    I rail a lot of bitches BTW, day to day I mean.
     
  6. RoryFan

    RoryFan Wears Hats

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2011
    Messages:
    10,851
    Likes Received:
    4,871
    Location:
    Albion
    pics.
     
  7. Codpiece

    Codpiece Met Conor Belt

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2011
    Messages:
    19,581
    Likes Received:
    15,928
    Location:
    Brisbane
    My parents are decent people, very well mannered and kind hearted. But our relationship has always felt pretty clinical. Maybe it's just me? I'm pretty tight with my in-laws, though.

    I see my parents every couple of weeks, and it's nice, but I just don't feel a huge emotional attatchment to them like I do my wife, kids etc.
     
  8. sh1tehawke

    sh1tehawke Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    2,420
    Likes Received:
    1,125
    i get on really well with my folks, i live about 10 mins from them and see them a few times a week. its important you make an effort with them imo.



    a real man makes time for his family. see "the godfather" for details...
     
  9. Michael13

    Michael13 Black Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2012
    Messages:
    7,018
    Likes Received:
    276
    I'm a mommy's boy. Couldn't live without her.

    My Dad has never been around really. Haven't seen him for 3 years.
     
  10. Ronnie911

    Ronnie911 Green Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    978
    Likes Received:
    19
    My parents are messed up, as far as family goes i just see it as I'm starting from scratch when i do have kids
     
  11. motorboatJones

    motorboatJones Bird Law

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2007
    Messages:
    6,732
    Likes Received:
    74
    Loved my dad up until adulthood
    Mom was always there but she enforced all the rules so I didn't care for her

    Then my parents divorced and the roles reversed. My dad turned out to be a fucking dick and my mom was there. It wasn't until then that I realized my mom had always been there, I just took it for granted.

    I haven't had a relationship with my dad for 25 years. My mom has been there the whole time. When my dad dies I probably won't even go to his funeral.

    Mom raised me. She taught me discipline and the love only a mother can have for her children. All my troubles when I was younger were because of my dad and his reckless behavior. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful mother.
     
  12. FwappyEnding

    FwappyEnding Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    Messages:
    4,715
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    And the mod won. :(
    I think it's a matter of maturity and age. As I've gotten older I've seen more mistakes my parents made over the years. Interestingly enough, they have seen the errors too.

    I get along well with them now. As a kid, I didn't get along with my dad. When I got into my teens, I got better with him, but worse with my mom. My mom and I get along well but have issues where she still tries to control me even though I'm a parent and haven't lived under their roof in nearly 12 years
     
  13. cartizel

    cartizel Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2007
    Messages:
    3,037
    Likes Received:
    530
    Location:
    Preppin' the Labium for Deeper Exploration
    I grew up with my mum ( nan has always been around; even used to live with us), 2 brothers and 1 sister.

    Generally we get on quite well and share a lot of similarities. Around the ages of 16-18 were probably my most difficult period with her: she continuously tried to mould me into something I didn't want to be. Ended up living with my Aunt for a few months.

    I'm now 27, and I'll say that after a few years of bein stringent and abrupt, she's finally stopped trying to influence me; trying to for me to go to church seems to be her most notable annoying trait. Once threatened to kick me out if I didnt make an effort with church.

    Yeah I still live at home. Renting and buying in London is problematic right now.

    All in all, mum and I are relatively close. I dont hear from my dad, nor does my siblings. Shit happens. She's more supportive of what I want to achieve and she mad hard working and faithful.
     
  14. Organic Damage

    Organic Damage Dancing on the ashes of the World

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    16,027
    Likes Received:
    13,426
    Location:
    The Zone
    Sounds like your family is hating the player, not the game IMO.

    Actually your relationship with your folks doesn't sound dissimilar to mine (minus sexy mom :eek:). I was always the good kid of my siblings, so we get along fine, but since they can no longer convince me they're smarter than me there's always a certain tension when they try to tell me how to live my life.

    Shitty to say, but I don't tend to spend much more time than obligatory holidays, social events and occasional dinner with them. We really don't have much to say to each other.
     
  15. weich

    weich Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2007
    Messages:
    11,495
    Likes Received:
    1,664
    Location:
    Colorado
    I get along great with my parents. We disagree on politics and religion, but overall we have a great relationship. I try to talk to them a couple times a week on the phone and more by email.
     
  16. EatMyShorts

    EatMyShorts Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    756
    Yeah see, pretty similar situation.

    My mother ALWAYS did the looking after.
    My old man worked but, never took an interest in me as a person.

    The problem really is this whole sexual thing with my mother.

    I just can't stand that shit.

    I wanna say, "I'm your fucking SON!! Don't speak to me like that".

    It honestly feels like she's trying to get me to pick her up or something.

    Thing is, I generally try and incite a reaction in women - makes them easy to nail/pick up - and am pretty good at it, but my mother can't seem to understand that she doesn't fall into the category of "regular women".
     
  17. Matt4786

    Matt4786 Gold Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2003
    Messages:
    17,220
    Likes Received:
    3,761
    Location:
    NorCal
    It was a bit rough in the past, but we've gotten along swimmingly since my mid 20s onwards.
     
  18. EatMyShorts

    EatMyShorts Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    756
    There you have it.

    Like trying to get blood from a stone making conversation.

    Even worse, when we're talking about something, it's like there's always this underlying resentment.

    Maybe my mother does that weird sexual disposition shit just to antagonize me.
     
  19. cartizel

    cartizel Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2007
    Messages:
    3,037
    Likes Received:
    530
    Location:
    Preppin' the Labium for Deeper Exploration
    Politics and religion? Care to elaborate a bit on that?
     
  20. monkey king**

    monkey king** Great Ape

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2011
    Messages:
    3,137
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Cali-For-Ni-A
    pretty well.I get frustrated with them,as any kid would with their parents,but overall,it's all good.I know they're all there for me and want what's best.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.