First date horror stories
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About 8 years ago when Myspace was all the rage my friend's gf wanted to hook me up with one of her friends. So according to her pics she was a solid 9. Pretty face, tight body, nice tan etc. so of course I agree. So on the way to pick her up I get a warning- she was in a serious accident a year earlier and sometimes has short term memory loss. I was like wtf, she's not deformed or anything is she? They assured me that she wasn't but when we get to her house she might as well have been. She was at least 50lbs heavier than her pics (apparantly due to the steroids she was on from the accident), had a semi-crooked face, and walked with a gimp. I was urged to just bail but my conscience got the best of me so I hung around. Anyway this chick was downright mean. My light -hearted attempts at humor were greeted with pure disdain and everytime I looked away from her she would nastily ask if I had somewhere better to be. My friend swore he never met her prior but we still get a laugh out of it til this day.
Also her father's business became a client of my company a few years later, I never mentioned to him that I sorta knew his daughter for obvious reasons.
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Ok time to contribute, get some popcorn and a beer your gunna be here for a few lol. Almost every girl that you hook up from on POF and OKC are either, head cases, fatties with a camera man, single mothers or some other lunatic not giving you the full story before meet up, Here some gens.
1: I break up with a gf around 22 and start talking to this girl a few towns away, pics look decent and I say right off I'm just looking to rebound ect. We exchangepics and eeh shes not bad 6/10, I drove out there one night ( which turns out to be like 40 fucking mins away) and she had a cute face but her body was rugged, we drink a lil and start playing around.....She lacked to tell me her skin had this permanent almost chicken pox feel to it, it was so strange. I head home having not burgled by my own choosing.
She calls me a few days later leaving me a message screaming how her dad had just died in his sleep and she really needs me right now.....I talked to her on the phone and it was the most uncomfortable thing ever.
2: Find another girl on a site and she looks great, better part is she's in my town, we exchange messages over a couple months and I completely forget about her. Till one night my phone rings with a number I didn't know, so i answer and it's her. She ask's if I'll come pick her up and hang out. As you can figure, this girl was maybe 5'3 and a good 50-60 pounds heavier then expected. We go to me house and chill watch a movie and make small talk when he just pulled off her hoodie. The rack was HUUUUGE saggy but HUUUUGE, she grabs my head and jam's my face into them, we go out all the while she's telling me how her father left her and she wants me to call my friends over for the GB.......I can't say what we did that summer but it was great having an on-call hose bag.
I got a lot more but I've had a shitty day and don't feel like typing ATM, some classics to follow......I could have my own thread for all the crazy sniz I have power plugged
1: I break up with a gf around 22 and start talking to this girl a few towns away, pics look decent and I say right off I'm just looking to rebound ect. We exchangepics and eeh shes not bad 6/10, I drove out there one night ( which turns out to be like 40 fucking mins away) and she had a cute face but her body was rugged, we drink a lil and start playing around.....She lacked to tell me her skin had this permanent almost chicken pox feel to it, it was so strange. I head home having not burgled by my own choosing.
She calls me a few days later leaving me a message screaming how her dad had just died in his sleep and she really needs me right now.....I talked to her on the phone and it was the most uncomfortable thing ever.
2: Find another girl on a site and she looks great, better part is she's in my town, we exchange messages over a couple months and I completely forget about her. Till one night my phone rings with a number I didn't know, so i answer and it's her. She ask's if I'll come pick her up and hang out. As you can figure, this girl was maybe 5'3 and a good 50-60 pounds heavier then expected. We go to me house and chill watch a movie and make small talk when he just pulled off her hoodie. The rack was HUUUUGE saggy but HUUUUGE, she grabs my head and jam's my face into them, we go out all the while she's telling me how her father left her and she wants me to call my friends over for the GB.......I can't say what we did that summer but it was great having an on-call hose bag.
I got a lot more but I've had a shitty day and don't feel like typing ATM, some classics to follow......I could have my own thread for all the crazy sniz I have power plugged
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Did you at least make small-talk with the gimp or just ignore him too?
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Thanks, Hunter. And I concur, Buddy! You're even in the PNW, let me know and we'll pop some bottles for sure...
Full Romo
Haha will do man!
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I decided to walk to our meeting place but screwed up my timing and was 30 minutes late. She was so upset she waited until I showed up just to tell me she's leaving. But she was really fat so I was relieved.
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I've spent the better part of a day at work reading this thread in my spare time, Only on page 15 of 25 at this point but have to bump this thread.
Holy hell this stuff is golden.
Holy hell this stuff is golden.
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I had a half day and decided to play video games and work on my book, I'll get a few in me and write some gems in a few.....to be continued......"come on....***** kick the damn rabbit!!!"
I"m gunna do TMNT quotes all day
Damn I felt bad for her before you said she was a bitch. I don't get that, if you're all jacked up, you'd think they'd be the nicest person in the world. It's kinda like fat chicks that are bitches. Guys will put up with a looker who's a bitch but no one outside the most desperate of men will put up with a big girl who's a bitch.
Please tell us more. These are awesome!
Haha yeah that's it! I don't know why I didn't put that together. Just like the kid from Breaking Bad..
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Could have been the steroids messing with her. If she was on prednisone, that stuff can make you gain weight and become very irritable.
I feel like I should be contributing now, but my dating life was far too uninteresting.
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Cmon guys, more stories!
Would love to share stuff, but I don't have any ammo!
Would love to share stuff, but I don't have any ammo!
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this is an old story of mine and I thought it was in here. but it isn't.
i went out of town with my buddies for a softball tourney. we went to the bar the night before and stayed at our friends house who had since gotten married and lived in the town of the tourney. a couple of us pulled random ass ou of the bar. went back to buddies house. i claimed a room in the basement with the girl and everyone else was staying in the basement area as well. we started getting it on. after an hour or so, i went to take a piss. i couldnt make anything out in the adjoining bedroom bathroom. i flip on the lights. i was covered from head to toe and looked like a red patrick bateman.. i went back into the bedroom and absolutely berated and chastised the woman blaming her.
then my nose started bleeding again. i get alot of nosebleeds in the dry summer. it was me.
she ran out of the house screaming and my buddies came into the room laughing hysterically.
i ended up buying a new bedspread and sheets the following day and was banned from my buddies house.
i went out of town with my buddies for a softball tourney. we went to the bar the night before and stayed at our friends house who had since gotten married and lived in the town of the tourney. a couple of us pulled random ass ou of the bar. went back to buddies house. i claimed a room in the basement with the girl and everyone else was staying in the basement area as well. we started getting it on. after an hour or so, i went to take a piss. i couldnt make anything out in the adjoining bedroom bathroom. i flip on the lights. i was covered from head to toe and looked like a red patrick bateman.. i went back into the bedroom and absolutely berated and chastised the woman blaming her.
then my nose started bleeding again. i get alot of nosebleeds in the dry summer. it was me.
she ran out of the house screaming and my buddies came into the room laughing hysterically.
i ended up buying a new bedspread and sheets the following day and was banned from my buddies house.
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The GIF AV and story are gold pony boy
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I remember this one... Hilarious.
CarbonFistprint
Brown Belt
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21 years old, I visited my friends at their party college for the huge Halloween party. I dressed as the Ultimate Warrior and we started drinking early. By the time our group of eight or so got to the party I was happily torqued. The party was at an old theater, thousands of kids and many, many kegs.
Right when we got in the door there were a group of girls all dressed as Minnie Mouse, and one caught my eye -- she looked like Mila Kunis -- and I made a blurry mental note to find her and talk to her. We'd waited in the line for a while so first order of business was to get a few beers and second was to locate the pisser.
Several beers later and after meeting some interesting cat women, jungle girls, female cops, french maids, and all that good Halloween whoredom, I tried to refocus on finding Minnie Mouse. Sure enough I did find one -- not the one I'd hoped to find, but the night was late, the beer had been consumed, and she did have the little round ears on her head. Close enough.
She got me back to her place, cleaned off the makeup (whiskers for her, multicolored Warrior paint for me) and we managed one hard bang before I passed out. In the morning, I woke up with a massive, pounding hangover, but also the same type of hardon, and rolled over to see what I'd gotten myself into.
Holy crap. At least fifty pounds overweight. Acne. The messy hair and scrubbed face didn't help. I had second thoughts, and then she woke up and lifted her sheets to kind of "invite me in". Mother Hubbard. A body that looked like a soft-serve ice cream cone. And it must have been awfully hot at the party because she stank like old hockey gear.
Whatever had been up when I woke was now down. I said, "Take me home." and got dressed. That was all I said until we pulled up to the street my buddies lived on. I had her drop me off at the corner so she wouldn't know what house I was going to. She tried asking me a few questions but I just straight-up ignored her. After that I was a little more careful about picking up chicks at parties.
Right when we got in the door there were a group of girls all dressed as Minnie Mouse, and one caught my eye -- she looked like Mila Kunis -- and I made a blurry mental note to find her and talk to her. We'd waited in the line for a while so first order of business was to get a few beers and second was to locate the pisser.
Several beers later and after meeting some interesting cat women, jungle girls, female cops, french maids, and all that good Halloween whoredom, I tried to refocus on finding Minnie Mouse. Sure enough I did find one -- not the one I'd hoped to find, but the night was late, the beer had been consumed, and she did have the little round ears on her head. Close enough.
She got me back to her place, cleaned off the makeup (whiskers for her, multicolored Warrior paint for me) and we managed one hard bang before I passed out. In the morning, I woke up with a massive, pounding hangover, but also the same type of hardon, and rolled over to see what I'd gotten myself into.
Holy crap. At least fifty pounds overweight. Acne. The messy hair and scrubbed face didn't help. I had second thoughts, and then she woke up and lifted her sheets to kind of "invite me in". Mother Hubbard. A body that looked like a soft-serve ice cream cone. And it must have been awfully hot at the party because she stank like old hockey gear.
Whatever had been up when I woke was now down. I said, "Take me home." and got dressed. That was all I said until we pulled up to the street my buddies lived on. I had her drop me off at the corner so she wouldn't know what house I was going to. She tried asking me a few questions but I just straight-up ignored her. After that I was a little more careful about picking up chicks at parties.
