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not sure, we were both rollin though so that probly had something to do with it
First date horror stories
- Thread starter lowsingle
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not sure, we were both rollin though so that probly had something to do with it
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Not a first date Horror Story Per Se... But it involves two people meeting that I was romantically tied with. I woke up the morning after Valentine's Day, pop on FB and see... A picture of my two Ex's, together, on Valentine's Day. There are not a lot of things that truly scare me. This is one of them. lol.
On Sunday, I see they had another marathon party session and have now 'merged' friends. I message the one I still talk to and joke about how strange it was that they were together now... and I get this stoney, passive agressive response below. I guess when they were there together... One Ex decides to tell 'The One' that I also slept with her friend while I was with her. Something that's actually not true. So I just trolled the hell out of her.
I'll put up some more First Date Horror Stories in a few... As, I've had a lot of them recently. Some very bad, some actually pretty good. But first, here's the FB conversation with both girls:
Girlfriend #1 (AKA the love of my life.)
Me: "I see you and Ashley are hung out again... I bet the Nectar couldn't keep any Flavored Smirnoff on the shelves Saturday."
Her: "Yeah, can you imagine that chick Sara you cheated on me with being there too? Banana's."
Me: "Sara? As in Sara B said that? Yeah, no... That wouldn't happen. Nice to see those girls have moved on with their lives, though."
Her: "I believe them. I'm not hurt or mad. That was a long time ago. We were a standard of what not to do. And not everyone moves on.
Me: "Sara B.... 3/10. Elbows much too pointy. Would not bang."
Her: "It doesn't matter what I think or believe. I would get an std/I test done if I were you though. Legit."
Me: "Sounds boring."
Her: "Not to be a dick, but I've known a few people that have come up positive for 'trivial' things that showed No Symptoms. Assuming you're ok bc of a perception of someone's sexual history/perceived notion of 'clean' isn't responsible."
Me: "And how is your Sister these days?"
Her: "I'm glad you're taking this seriously..."
Girlfriend #2
Her: "Fuck you, John."
Me: "Happy Birthday, Ash!"
On Sunday, I see they had another marathon party session and have now 'merged' friends. I message the one I still talk to and joke about how strange it was that they were together now... and I get this stoney, passive agressive response below. I guess when they were there together... One Ex decides to tell 'The One' that I also slept with her friend while I was with her. Something that's actually not true. So I just trolled the hell out of her.
I'll put up some more First Date Horror Stories in a few... As, I've had a lot of them recently. Some very bad, some actually pretty good. But first, here's the FB conversation with both girls:
Girlfriend #1 (AKA the love of my life.)
Me: "I see you and Ashley are hung out again... I bet the Nectar couldn't keep any Flavored Smirnoff on the shelves Saturday."
Her: "Yeah, can you imagine that chick Sara you cheated on me with being there too? Banana's."
Me: "Sara? As in Sara B said that? Yeah, no... That wouldn't happen. Nice to see those girls have moved on with their lives, though."
Her: "I believe them. I'm not hurt or mad. That was a long time ago. We were a standard of what not to do. And not everyone moves on.
Me: "Sara B.... 3/10. Elbows much too pointy. Would not bang."
Her: "It doesn't matter what I think or believe. I would get an std/I test done if I were you though. Legit."
Me: "Sounds boring."
Her: "Not to be a dick, but I've known a few people that have come up positive for 'trivial' things that showed No Symptoms. Assuming you're ok bc of a perception of someone's sexual history/perceived notion of 'clean' isn't responsible."
Me: "And how is your Sister these days?"
Her: "I'm glad you're taking this seriously..."
Girlfriend #2
Her: "Fuck you, John."
Me: "Happy Birthday, Ash!"
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You weren't there man... That wasn't even a YOLO type situation. That was a "I need to get the fuck out of here immediatley" type situation.
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lol @ "I'm not hurt or mad."
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Together as in theyre dating now? Or just friends?
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Oh, just friends. They went to the same school in Eastern WA and they knew about each other through me, but I never expected them to become friends. I saw the selfie they took the day after Valentines Day and my Buddy that was in the room with me just laughed like "Oh, you're fucked."
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Tell her to come check you for stds if she's so concerned, but that you'll only accept the mouth test.
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If you have a threesome with them, you'll be my hero.
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Besides your first doll obsessed woman story, none of these have been "horror" stories. Regardless, they are entertaining as hell.
I really feel like there would be some good times to be had if we ever went out. Thats just the impression I get.
No romo.
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Thanks, Hunter. And I concur, Buddy! You're even in the PNW, let me know and we'll pop some bottles for sure...
Full Romo
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This was on that site facethejury like 8 or 9 years ago lol.
It wasn't my date but one of my friends from college was going to meet this chick from there not too long after I got messaged by that crazy. He showed me her profile and she was a solid 8. This was before chicks did those angled pics and all that to make themselves look prettier and skinny so I had no reason to believe otherwise.
I was hanging out at his house about to leave when there was a knock at the door. I'm sitting in his room playing video games and I hear him open the door and go "Heeeeeyyyyy...." awkwardly. I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. She walked in and was a solid 40lbs heavier than her pics and one side of her mouth didn't work and looked like it had a stroke. She just talked out of this little hole on the other side of her mouth. I was like welp good luck with that buddy and I took off.
Called him the next day and he had already made plans with her to go downtown before he ever saw her. So he had to parade her around downtown all night like the trophy she was. He ended up taking her home and banging her out anyway lol. Dude would screw anything that walked.
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might as well, he already went through the shitty part
You're right, if you have to take her downtown on a dog and pony show, you might as well get her stroke face and oddly shaped looking body naked and roll around in your bed with it.
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A girl I had hooked up with a few times before. She was chubby, but not fat. So not that bad. Though, after we hooked up one night we fell asleep together. I just woke up in the middle of the night and started feeling that post-banging remorse. I just wanted to get the eff out of there. So I kind of slithered out of bed and got dressed super slow and quietly. When I went to open the door of her condo/apt, even though I was opening it from the inside, an ALARM went off. So I just haul ass to my car in the parking lot and leave. She texts me like 15 minutes later asking where I went and I just played dumb and said, "I was hungry so I left to get food" (keep in mind it's like 2 a.m. She also has a kitchen lol). Anyways she goes on to tell me that the alarm going off didn't actually wake her up (can't believe it bz that shit was loud). That she was awoken by the COPS who responded to her place. They went into her room while she was still completely naked passed out in bed lmao!!
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it would be funny from there, she ask them to stay
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This isn't a date but one time this girl on a dating site messaged me and struck up a conversation. She specifically had in her profile that she was looking for marriage and wanted kids in the next couple years. I was just looking to have fun so I politely messaged her back and told her I didn't want to waste anyone's time because we were looking for two different things. She then sent me like 15 more private messages in the next 5 minutes that were just all over the place. I didn't respond to a single one of them. They went something sort of like this..
Her: Ok wutever u guys are pigs
Her: Do u have anymore pics?
Her: I dont even want 2 talk 2 u neway
Her: Ur ugly LOL
Her: But better looking than my last bf
Her: We should have a drink
Her: OIC how it is you couldnt handle me newayz
Her: I do like your style, anymore pics?
Her: All u want to do is sleep around u scumbag
Her: Hows your night going?
Her: So bored n like 50 guyz trying to get at me rite now LOL
Her: K so I want 2 talk 2 U tho
Her: What are u doing this weekend? Send me your #.
Her: K you stupid idiot I hope U die you f'ing POS
Her: Hi
Her: Don't die in ur sleep 2nite ROTF!
I'd have fucked her.
CarbonFistprint
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High school first date, I was 16 or 17, with Lisa. Dinner and a movie on Friday night. Lisa was pretty, blonde, big boobs. I was a little nervous. Sitting in the movie, I waited about 30 minutes and then tried to "smooth move" put my arm around her. Somehow she moved at the same moment and I elbowed her right in the nose.
I apologized over and over as she held her nose and said "Ow." Then I sat with my hands in my lap the rest of the movie, and just took her straight home after. Ugh.
Next afternoon, I get a call from Tammy (also pretty, blonde, big boobs). I've liked her for a while, feeling seems mutual, we've never dated but she has my number. She calls and asks what's up, I invite her over to watch movies at my folks house. Family room is in the basement. No one's home but I play it cool because I know the parents come home pretty soon. After they go to be maybe Tammy and I can fool around a bit. She seems game.
I have my arm around Tammy when the folks get home (I was more careful and Tammy wasn't as uptight) and my mom comes downstairs to see what I'm up to.
Mom: "Hi honey. Oh, well hello. Who's your friend?"
Me: "Hi mom. This is Lisa."
Oh shit. No it's not. I turn to Tammy and she's looking at me with the death stare.
Me:"Umm. I mean..."
Now I'm flustered and can't remember Tammy's name. And she's not helping, she's just trying to incinerate me with her eyes. Fortunately, mom thinks she's funny so she tries to "help".
Mom: "Well I can't keep track of them, so I don't imagine how you can either. Have a nice night, kids!" and she walks away.
Shit. Finally I spit out "Tammy!" but it's a little late. I apologize and try some dumbass explanation but she's pissed and the night is cut short.
Anyway, Lisa never happened but Tammy and I had much more successful second and third dates. I just needed some serious work on my game.
I apologized over and over as she held her nose and said "Ow." Then I sat with my hands in my lap the rest of the movie, and just took her straight home after. Ugh.
Next afternoon, I get a call from Tammy (also pretty, blonde, big boobs). I've liked her for a while, feeling seems mutual, we've never dated but she has my number. She calls and asks what's up, I invite her over to watch movies at my folks house. Family room is in the basement. No one's home but I play it cool because I know the parents come home pretty soon. After they go to be maybe Tammy and I can fool around a bit. She seems game.
I have my arm around Tammy when the folks get home (I was more careful and Tammy wasn't as uptight) and my mom comes downstairs to see what I'm up to.
Mom: "Hi honey. Oh, well hello. Who's your friend?"
Me: "Hi mom. This is Lisa."
Oh shit. No it's not. I turn to Tammy and she's looking at me with the death stare.
Me:"Umm. I mean..."
Now I'm flustered and can't remember Tammy's name. And she's not helping, she's just trying to incinerate me with her eyes. Fortunately, mom thinks she's funny so she tries to "help".
Mom: "Well I can't keep track of them, so I don't imagine how you can either. Have a nice night, kids!" and she walks away.
Shit. Finally I spit out "Tammy!" but it's a little late. I apologize and try some dumbass explanation but she's pissed and the night is cut short.
Anyway, Lisa never happened but Tammy and I had much more successful second and third dates. I just needed some serious work on my game.
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Thanks, Hunter. And I concur, Buddy! You're even in the PNW, let me know and we'll pop some bottles for sure...
Full Romo
Can I cum as well?
knuckleroll**
Purple Belt
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I had already drilled her pretty hard.
