First date horror stories

went to twerps in chico(fall dance) We all met up for at a friends house. I dont remember how many of us there were but there was alot of us. Well on our way out I crossed my friends yard. We hop in one of the cars and its jam packed and we smell dog shit. Im laughing were all telling jokes. We sit down to eat and im next to my date who was in another car says eww whats that smell.

I knew it, it had to me. I grabbed a butter knife and went to the bathroom. Was not the easiest thing to clean because they were brand new dress boots and the shit was caked up all in that shit.

Drinking a little tonight dude? The Story was random and hard to read. Its cool though that sucks you had shit on your shoes.
 
Ok so none of my stories are that great, the first one is about me.
They're not very eventful and I am going to censor myself for fear of getting banned, but herreeee goes, so I visited my home town for the first time in about 3 years, and decided to get in touch with a girl I knew a few years ago all the way back in 8th grade. (I was 17 at the time) and I was not really what you would call a player, so it was like the second time I had ever had sex and I remember we started messing around on her couch. Then she asked me to put on a condom, which was a first lol, so I did and was extremely surprised with how much different "it" felt with a condom on. So I wasn't really feeling it and at one point she asked me to do it doggy-style with her. I don't know why I guess it was just because I had never done doggy-style before and I immediately got super nervous, so nervous that I legitimately went limp and preceded to have my limp (you know what) repeatedly pushed "into" her hole until finally she gave up. Needless to say the rest of the day was super awkward and 2 years later I have not talked to her since.
Also I had friend who used to date this chick for like a week and then it went south. So he had told me the reason they broke up was simply because he lost interest due to her clinginess. Until I found out through a mutual friend of his ex that my friend and his ex, of course, went out on a date, after they went to a movie and were driving home they started messing around. Apparently things were getting pretty hot and heavy so they decided to just pull over at a gas station and "do the deed". They eventually moved to the back and once all of her clothes were off my friend had a mini-panic attack and ran outside of the car and just started puking everywhere. Don't really know what happened after that lol but yeaaah those are my stories, sorry I know they're weak in comparison

It's ok dude,any of youse have any weak stories pls post them also.Some of us are at work and need to pass the time.
 
Literally never been on a crazy first date, I tend to be able to spot crazy bitches a mile away and steer clear. Feel deeply sorry for some of the guys in this thread.
 
You've told this before haven't you?

I believe he has posted it three or four times so far, never gets old though. It fits well with the thread, so it made sense for him to plop it down.

Lol. Yes. It took some searching. Someone else had a thread titled very similar that I think all 3 of us were in about a year ago.. I also reposted it in the married thread which is where myself and about 10 guys hang all day.
 
I shared this story before but I think it fit this thread well, even though it's not quite an horror story, more of an extremely awkward moment.

I was out with friends last summer when I notice two women staring at me. Couple minutes later I walk past them to go get some drinks and they introduce themselves and they tell me they have a friend that would be into me and asked if I would like to meet her. The older one of the two is eyefucking me all along. So I say, sure, why not? Where is she? (They were both good looking so I figured their friend would be decent looking too) That's when they tell me that she's not with them but they could set me up on a date with her.

That right there was pretty weird but I told myself "why the fuck not?" So they send her text messages to inform her of the situation and send her some more messages with my phone. The older one keeps on eyefucking all the while she's setting me up with her friend.

Once the blind date is set up, I keep talking with them and call out the one who's eyefcking me. She tells me thy she's too old for me and tells me she's 43. My reply was something along "you might be too old for dating but if you want to have sex, it's fine, you look amazing!" So she ends up giving me her number too and tells me to call her when I leave. I do so. She gave me her address so I head over to her place after dropping my friends. I bang her and she takes me out for breakfast the next day.

Later that day, I'm meeting with her friend. First thing she tells me is "my friend told me about last night, I don't care" everything's fine with her, decent looking and easy going.

Later on, we're talking and I tell something like "i was really surprised when you told me you didn't care that I had sex with your friend when I was supposed to me you today." Then her face changed and she gets mad. "Stupid bitch told me you guys didn't have sex, only cuddle!" She kept saying shit for a few minutes and at that point I just don't know what to say. She almost cried and she told me she won't ever talk to her friend again. That's when I called it a night. Bitch had no tits anyways.

Called back the 43 years old the next week.
 
First date I had this girl ask me how much I make. Afterwards, she expressed her dissapointment in my salary and said "I don't even know why I'm here." We ended up dating for a few months. She is currently engaged to a rich guy.
 
First date I had this girl ask me how much I make. Afterwards, she expressed her dissapointment in my salary and said "I don't even know why I'm here." We ended up dating for a few months. She is currently engaged to a rich guy.

really? why?
 
really? why?

she is really, really, really good looking. she ended up being a tad on the dumb side but she wasn't as bad as she came off to be. i think she was trying to get a reaction out of me and i didn't bite.
 
First date I had this girl ask me how much I make. Afterwards, she expressed her dissapointment in my salary and said "I don't even know why I'm here." We ended up dating for a few months. She is currently engaged to a rich guy.

It's ok to want a guy with money but not ok to put down someone who isn't making that much.Bitches need to be polite.
 
I have a friend who actually had a pretty funny story about that.

He was in the military, ended up hooking up with this girl who was in the military. He ended up with the clap, went to medical, got the god awful cotton swab and the medication. Obviously, he wanted nothing more to do with this chick, but he didn't want anyone else to get burned as well.

He didn't tell her about his trip to medical, and they planned on going somewhere together for a long weekend they had. When they were just about to leave, he pulled up to the medical building and tells her he needs to get a prescription filled and asks her to come in with him to give him company because there is usually a wait, so she follows him inside.

He walks up to the counter and says "This is (whatever her name was). She gave me the clap" and leaves.

That's retarded. He got it from her because he chose not to wrap it up. His responsibility and he fucked up. No need for him to be a dick about it.
 
I remember had a fairly mediocrely boring first date many years ago, where I found out the girl was vegan and we walked around for four hours trying to find some vegetarian restaurant she swore existed before I told her to get fucked and walked off. No horse masks or faeces involved, sorry. =/

But I also have a first (online) date on Friday, so I'll let you know if it's an abject failure/amusing disaster.
 
I remember had a fairly mediocrely boring first date many years ago, where I found out the girl was vegan and we walked around for four hours trying to find some vegetarian restaurant she swore existed before I told her to get fucked and walked off. No horse masks or faeces involved, sorry. =/

But I also have a first (online) date on Friday, so I'll let you know if it's an abject failure/amusing disaster.

My first gf was/is vegetarian, but it just was absolutely no issue eating ever. We'd go out and I'd ask if any given place we might head to had something vegetarian and she'd just be all, "Oh don't worry, I'll find something there I can eat." Super chill. Also a superfreak in bed. Man oh man, if only I knew as much about life and people back then as I do now.
 
I remember had a fairly mediocrely boring first date many years ago, where I found out the girl was vegan and we walked around for four hours trying to find some vegetarian restaurant she swore existed before I told her to get fucked and walked off. No horse masks or faeces involved, sorry. =/

But I also have a first (online) date on Friday, so I'll let you know if it's an abject failure/amusing disaster.

No masks is a good thing, bro... lol. Looking forward to hearing about Friday!
 
I had a super big rash on my face for my first date with my now wife. Luckily, she's not the type to judge or care and we knew each other fairly well before. I was still a little embarrassed though.
 
I had a super big rash on my face for my first date with my now wife. Luckily, she's not the type to judge or care and we knew each other fairly well before. I was still a little embarrassed though.

Haha. Reminds me of the time I hit a tanning bed the night before my high school reunion because I was going to Aruba with my fiancee the next day and I got literally sun burnt as shit. It was funny because I live in a generally cold climate so I was busted.
 
Haha. Reminds me of the time I hit a tanning bed the night before my high school reunion because I was going to Aruba with my fiancee the next day and I got literally sun burnt as shit. It was funny because I live in a generally cold climate so I was busted.

Haha I hope you went and rocked it anyway.
 
Back
Top