First date horror stories

[equus]

You mean, you guys don't? :redface:

back when you were dating it wasnt uncommon to leave the drive-in and head back to the house to listen to some 45's. they hadnt invented AIDS yet though. you jokester.

 

[Phreaxer]

back when you were dating it wasnt uncommon to leave the drive-in and head back to the house to listen to some 45's. they hadnt invented AIDS yet though. you jokester.

they had drive-ins for horse and buggies?

 

[equus]

I was driving the car in a similar situation. My wife and her ex were discussing some things with their accountant and she had asked me to go along 'for emotional support'. I'm waiting in the car, they come out and start talking. I was trying to stay out of it until he started raising his voice at her. I stepped out of my car, turned towards him right about the time my (now) wife drops the "oh yeah, and tell your aunt I said she's a f'ing c!" (this is from a woman who gets annoyed when I say anything more offensive than crap or damn...) I stepped back and sat down again, she obviously did not need my help. She was beat red when she got in the car. I asked if she was okay and she said "yeah, I just am embarrassed I said that. I don't know where it came from." lol She'd probably be annoyed I shared that story but hey, it's true.

that was just her demon trying to come out for a bit.

 

[SMillard]

Not to mention the most uncomfortable of all situations EVAH: sitting as a passenger as the girl starts cussing out her ex.

no, uncomfortable is attending a small party and realizing you've slept with four of the seven women at the party and the fact that they all slept with you was the catalyst for them all becoming the best of buddies at the party. Then the other three join in just because they don't want to feel left out.

 

[v.kevin]

no, uncomfortable is attending a small party and realizing you've slept with four of the seven women at the party and the fact that they all slept with you was the catalyst for them all becoming the best of buddies at the party. Then the other three join in just because they don't want to feel left out.

lol, I'm starting to think you're a bit of a slut. haha

TBH, I'm married and never got around much so I'm just jelly.

 

[Gawd]

no, uncomfortable is attending a small party and realizing you've slept with four of the seven women at the party and the fact that they all slept with you was the catalyst for them all becoming the best of buddies at the party. Then the other three join in just because they don't want to feel left out.

So, were the remaining three women hot?

 

[Asathor]

no, uncomfortable is attending a small party and realizing you've slept with four of the seven women at the party and the fact that they all slept with you was the catalyst for them all becoming the best of buddies at the party. Then the other three join in just because they don't want to feel left out.

I know that. At my mums 50th Birthday most of the girls there, which were my age, were exes of me. Wasn't much of a fun night for me.

 

[SMillard]

lol, I'm starting to think you're a bit of a slut. haha

TBH, I'm married and never got around much so I'm just jelly.

If it makes you less jealous, most of them were ugly and fat.

So, were the remaining three women hot?

One was smoking hot, but was about to hit the wall from too much tanning.

The second was good looking and a trust fund girl (her great grandfather made millions as a haberdasher, oddly I had to tell her what a haberdasher was) , I had a chance with her before I went out with one of the others, but then I got the "you went out with my friend so I couldn't", actually she was the coolest one with me.

The third was a ditch pig, despite all the abuse I took from her during the night if I'd shown any interest I probably could have.

I know that. At my mums 50th Birthday most of the girls there, which were my age, were exes of me. Wasn't much of a fun night for me.

Ouch, at mom's bday party, now that would have made it worse. If my mother had been there she would have joined with the gaggle and contributed in the pile on.

 

[Z4**]

WTF did I just read? Are you fucking borat?

Hahahahahaha

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

If it makes you less jealous, most of them were ugly and fat.

I, for one, feel much better!

 

[Dr J]

no, uncomfortable is attending a small party and realizing you've slept with four of the seven women at the party and the fact that they all slept with you was the catalyst for them all becoming the best of buddies at the party. Then the other three join in just because they don't want to feel left out.

I had a similar experience. My girlfriend and I broke up, and ended up sleeping with someone she knew pretty soon after. Around that same time, my cousin hooked up with our friend's whorish sister--this girl screwed at least 30 guys on the side during her relationship with her future and current husband. Anywaus, a few weeks later, he went home with the sister's friend (an outrageous slut in her own right), who had a thing for him for quite some time. She stupidly decides to test their budding "relationship" by telling him that he doesn't have to stay the night if he doesn't feel comfortable. My cousin, the dickhead that he is, immediately belts up and heads home without saying another word.

At this point, the stage is set. My cousin and I get invites to our friend's graduation party. Not even thinking about the potential guest list, we head in expecting a fun little afternoon. We walk into the den and immediately knew the day was fucked. Sitting and standing around the coffee table: my ex-girlfriend, the girl I slept with, the sister and her clueless--yet probably STD ridden--boyfriend, the sister's slutty friend, and 4 or 5 others we didn't know. If there was music playing in the background, it would have cut silent the second we stepped in the room. We sat around for 15-20 minutes in the midst of tension you could cut with a knife, not saying a word, with the occasional smirks on our faces that goes along with holding back awkward laughter. We made an unspoken agreement to head the hell out of there.

 

[RoninJin]

Ha, that was pretty good. I have one that's sort of similar.

I met this girl online. She's was good looking in her pictures. I got her to send me some nudes. She had gigantic knockers. I can't remember her size but I remember some of my other girlfriends telling me that that size didn't even exist. She lived a couple hours away and I didn't have a car at the time so she said she would come to me. The next day she texted me telling me that she was on her way but her car was broke so she was having her friend drive her. It was a man friend. Once I met him I realized he was one of those poor friend zoned chaps. I can't imagine why he agreed to drive her, maybe he thought he could **** block me. Also, I can't understand why she thought it was a good idea have this guy drive her. I could've waited for her car to be fixed.

They arrive, she's fatter than in her pictures. She has a pretty face though and those tits were real so I was still down. I took her to a bar. She then tells me she is younger than what she told me online. She can't drink but they still let her in. It's just me and her friend drinking. We don't stay long. We leave and pickup some beer and decide to hang out at my place. After about the most awkward 20 minutes of drinking and small chat I've ever had to endure she asks where the bathroom is. I tell her I'll show her. It's upstairs right next my bedroom.

We came back downstairs 12 hours later. She was actually really good in bed and she was not quiet. Her friend had to stay downstairs and listen to us have sex all night. We didn't even have a tv he could watch.

In bed she gave me her grandmothers ring to signify how much I meant to her. They left the next morning and I had to wear that girly ring in public for an hour while we got breakfast.

A week later she realized she made a mistake be giving me that ring, maybe because I wasn't replying to any of her texts. I sent it back to her in the mail.

Christ i had a similar occasion. When i was in the service me and my roommate double date with this chick and her friend. My date was really hot and her friend was meh. Anyway throughout the whole dinning service my date kept texting, while her friend and my roommate kept hooking up, laughing and kissing and shit.

Short end of it i drove the two chicks back and me and my roommate headed back. We were talking shit bout how he is going get laid while my chick was acting stuck up and shit. Anyway middle of the night, i awoken by sounds of someone having sex and making out. Turns out he text his chick to come back to our place, assuming i was knock out asleep. If u guys aren't aware, military room has two beds separated by a wall/tv stands. We can hear each other but can't see each other.

So being the non-cockblocking roommate that i am, the whole night i kept still and try to go to sleep, all while this bitch was getting some....

 

[Dr J]

lol, I'm starting to think you're a bit of a slut. haha

TBH, I'm married and never got around much so I'm just jelly.

I'm enjoying the hell out of this thread. I'm married as well and don't get to talk about this kind of stuff anymore.

 

[Count Zero]

Blake Bowman posted this exact story many years ago. You just got caught.

Are you sure you're not remembering when I posted it myself a few years ago ? I don't know who Blake Bowman is, but this actually happened to me.

 

[RetiredWisFighter]

[QUOTE=Aas Gut

 

[ocean size]

A few years ago, I was getting off work, had gotten a number from a girl I hooked up with a couple years before who was still looking alright that invited me to a house party that night. I was pretty sure I was going to go, then I got a call - I wasn't really sure who it was although the girl acted like I should... and slowly I realized it was this smoking hot blond I had met while working on the beach way back and must have given my number. Mind you we had spoken for about 2 minutes at the time, hadn't spoken again.

She invites me to her friends place up the mountain to watch some lightning - mind you this is Oahu, I hadn't seen lightning for like 3 years at that point, and most houses up the hill in that area were like mansions - and this girl sounded ready to go. So I went to meet her, taking a chance, not even remembering her name at that point.

I get to the house, the girls friend and boyfriend are there, the girl is fucking smashed and had crazy eyes, but still really hot, and apparently told the other two I would be giving her a ride home. There is no booze. They ask me how we met, I wasn't entirely sure so I just kind of uhhhhhed.... for a minute. A bar? The beach? I think it was somewhat clear I was just some dude that barely knew her, and they were still willing to put her in my car while she was bombed. Dunno why I didn't nope the fuck out of there already. So we leave, I get 100 ft down the hill before she yells to pull over. I do, thinking she has to puke, but she takes the keys out of the ignition and hides them.

She tells me "I think we've both had a little too much to drink and are a little too high, maybe we should just stop here and talk". Only I am dead sober, and she despite trying to get me to bone her would probably not remember saying that in the morning, so I decline. I takes like 10 minutes to get my keys back. On the way to her neighborhood she tells me about how she just got dumped, so I am guessing she waited about 10 minutes before calling every dude in her phone and I am the one whos curiosity got the better of me. She didn't want to get out of my car, so wouldn't tell me where she lived, so I drove around for about an hour trying to make her tell me. I would have kicked her out but it was raining and she was wasted, so I didn't want to get arrested the next day when she blacked out in the middle of the road and got run over. When she realized I wasn't going to fuck her, she decided to go religious nut on me, telling me how I am going to hell since I am not a church goer. This kind of worked in my favor, she made me swear to her I would go to church with her in the morning, then she told me where she lived and got out of the car. She actually did call a few times the next day. hahahaha. I didn't answer.

There you have it one of my most fucked up 'first dates'. Now that I think about it, every time I took a risk instead of going for the sure thing, I ended up with another of these horror stories. I can also tell you about the girl that kept my lost sunglasses hostage in exchange for a date, for which she put on clown makeup and I had to be seen in public with her. She never actually had my sunglasses...

Fuck, thinking back makes me want to go hug my girlfriend for being... normal

 

[Mr Gorgeous]

This thread is still going strong. I don't think I've ever read this many "long" posts in a single thread. They've all been worth it.

A couple years back I was visiting my mom. She was still living in the small town where I went to high school. My bedroom is no longer a bedroom so I slept in my sisters old bedroom, which is about two feet away from my moms bedroom.

My sisters best friend of about ten years finds out I'm in town and asks me to come out to the bar with her. I've known her for a long time. She always seemed normal. Nothing I had known about her prepared me for what was about to happen.

At the bar she seemed her normal self. She doesn't take long to get smashed. She's down, so we go back to my moms place. That was my first mistake. She is very loud when she's drunk. I should have told her to leave right then but at this point the head on my neck isn't the one that's doing the thinking.

We're in the bedroom, and our cloths come off. She's covered in hair, not just her bush but her calves as well. I'm past the point of no return. She's getting very aggressive and she's saying some very strange things, she's still loud. As we're doing it she keeps saying "you don't mean it, do me like you mean it". I kept asking her what she meant by that, we're having a freaking conversation while we're doing it. I turned her around to get her to stop talking to me. It didn't work and the view wasn't any better.

Somehow she gets on top of me. She starts hitting me in the face, she's still telling me she wants me to mean it. I tell her "that's not helping". I finish, hoping that this night will end soon. It doesn't, the weird just keeps on coming. She goes to the bathroom and gets a glass of water. She drinks some of it and then pours the rest on my dick. Now my I'm wet and my beds wet and I'm bleeding from the lip and I'm wondering if this night can get any worse. She lays down next to me and tries to cuddle. She says she wants to travel with me and get to know the inside of me. I tell her that will never happen. She eventually passes out. I'm too afraid to sleep.

When she wakes up she either couldn't remember what happened or she acted like that was a normal night for her. She didn't understand why I looked petrified. I've tried to forget this night. Reliving it has been emotional.

 

[Zoolander]

^^^haha! this is great lol

 

[0vary hugger**]

i met a girl on yahoo personals when i first moved to my city. the long story is, she was hot as hell. described herself as "athletic" and even went so far as posting pics with a current timestamp on them. we exchanged emails then numbers. we talked but something seemed "off". i was gung ho to meet her. but still paranoid and skittish enough to ask her if she was cool with having a couple of her gf's attend a baseball game with a couple of my buddies and myself. they agreed. they come to my house and this chick is about 100lbs larger than her pictures. somehow she photoshopped a more current date on her old photos and convinced me she wasnt an elephant. she was gigantic. we still went to the game but afterwards, i never responded again. i think she finally got the hint.

I was laughing at first thinking maybe she was a hung ho?

 

[0vary hugger**]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

Guise guise guise,thank you.slow days at work are made so much better becaus eof one thread like this.I love you guys.