First date horror stories

Sam Merlotte said:
Winning!

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lol, you're a man among men, Merlotte.
 
Bukowski82 said:
So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!
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this story is just proof that we as men will enter into a fucking nightmare if it means we may get our weiners wet.....
 
equus said:
this story is just proof that we as men will enter into a fucking nightmare if it means we may get our weiners wet.....
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i would fight a fucking bear if i knew it would get me one of those korean beauty pageant girls
 
Has anyone shit the girls bed on a first date? That would win the thread hands down.
 
Ok,if anybody laughs,I will sulk.many years ago I was working in a hospital,a new nurse starts and I like her.she dresses a bit different and dyes her hair,but I'm cool with that.so after a few weeks of talking we're getting on well.so we arrange a date,she lived on her own in a house.so we go out have a few drinks,and have a good time. I'll admit I had a fair bit to drink,which as we all know makes us think we're the bomb.so we go back to her place,have a few more drinks and start getting friendly. After a bit of this she says let's go to the bedroom an I'm like cool. By the time we get to her room I'm nearly naked,we go in to her room and there's this thing above the bed.like I said I've had a fair bit to drink and am feeling brave and cocky,so I ask,what the hell is that,she looks at it and with out missing a beat says a restraining device. So not wanting to appears pussy I don't run for it like I should have.shes like,your not put off by this are you,and good old beer bravery says for me,nah it's cool. She's like do you mind if we try a few different things out,I agreed.stupidly,how was I supposed to know she was heavily into the fetish scene,and a Domm.so yes I did end up stuck in the device and a few other things happened that I can't say here.we saw each each other for a year and a half and she took me to some very interesting clubs that I didn't know existed.
 
This is more strange than funny....but I have a story..

I was having drinks at a local bar/lounge...and one of the regulars there and I had been chatting it up everytime we see one another.

Long story short, I have several drinks...I'm feeling kinda tipsy and am looking for a rebound...she isn't a 10...maybe a 5.5 on anyones scale...but to a drunk, guy craving a rebound she's a 9.

She asks me back to her place...and of course I accept. She lived in a 1 bedroom, very small apartment. We are on her couch...having another beverage and are about to get down to business....and then she asks, "do you want to meet my dad?"

I'm thinking, "WTF!?!?!" how is there another person in this cramped small apartment?

She goes in the other room...and comes back with a card board box...in it are her father's ashes...

I am beyond weirded out...so I make up a story and leave.
 
BobbyMunson said:
Has anyone shit the girls bed on a first date? That would win the thread hands down.
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A few years ago a friend of mine went home with this girl that he met at a club. He woke up in the middle of the night, felt that something was off and soon found out that he had shit himself in his sleep. Now panicking, he took her underwear while she was sleeping and smeared the shit on it and bits and pieces (im lmao right now thinking about this) on her buttcheek and surrounding area trying to put the blame on her and then quietly sneaked out.

I almost died when he told me lol, it made me laugh so hard my heart literally hurt. But I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not.
A week later we are out for a few beers and the same girl walks in with a friend of hers..I will never forget his face when he realised who just came in lol! They had instant eye contact, it was glorious. She came over pissed as hell and started making a scene yelling "you fucking psycho, why did you do that?! You disgusting pos" and my favorite "you smeared shit on my ass!" which made me burst out laughing so fucking hard for some reason. We called him shitbreak for like 6 months after that, and I still got him saved as shitbreak on my phone.

Fin
 
Mr Gorgeous said:
Ha, that was pretty good. I have one that's sort of similar.

I met this girl online. She's was good looking in her pictures. I got her to send me some nudes. She had gigantic knockers. I can't remember her size but I remember some of my other girlfriends telling me that that size didn't even exist. She lived a couple hours away and I didn't have a car at the time so she said she would come to me. The next day she texted me telling me that she was on her way but her car was broke so she was having her friend drive her. It was a man friend. Once I met him I realized he was one of those poor friend zoned chaps. I can't imagine why he agreed to drive her, maybe he thought he could **** block me. Also, I can't understand why she thought it was a good idea have this guy drive her. I could've waited for her car to be fixed.

They arrive, she's fatter than in her pictures. She has a pretty face though and those tits were real so I was still down. I took her to a bar. She then tells me she is younger than what she told me online. She can't drink but they still let her in. It's just me and her friend drinking. We don't stay long. We leave and pickup some beer and decide to hang out at my place. After about the most awkward 20 minutes of drinking and small chat I've ever had to endure she asks where the bathroom is. I tell her I'll show her. It's upstairs right next my bedroom.

We came back downstairs 12 hours later. She was actually really good in bed and she was not quiet. Her friend had to stay downstairs and listen to us have sex all night. We didn't even have a tv he could watch.

In bed she gave me her grandmothers ring to signify how much I meant to her. They left the next morning and I had to wear that girly ring in public for an hour while we got breakfast.

A week later she realized she made a mistake be giving me that ring, maybe because I wasn't replying to any of her texts. I sent it back to her in the mail.
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This is great, Mr. Gorgeous.
 
Pars said:
A few years ago a friend of mine went home with this girl that he met at a club. He woke up in the middle of the night, felt that something was off and soon found out that he had shit himself in his sleep. Now panicking, he took her underwear while she was sleeping and smeared the shit on it and bits and pieces (im lmao right now thinking about this) on her buttcheek and surrounding area trying to put the blame on her and then quietly sneaked out.

I almost died when he told me lol, it made me laugh so hard my heart literally hurt. But I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not.
A week later we are out for a few beers and the same girl walks in with a friend of hers..I will never forget his face when he realised who just came in lol! They had instant eye contact, it was glorious. She came over pissed as hell and started making a scene yelling "you fucking psycho, why did you do that?! You disgusting pos" and my favorite "you smeared shit on my ass!" which made me burst out laughing so fucking hard for some reason. We called him shitbreak for like 6 months after that, and I still got him saved as shitbreak on my phone.

Fin
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Haha that is fucking awesome.

I heard a story on another forum where a guy pished the bed during the night, woke up and pushed her over to the wet area and woke her up, accused of of being a dirty bitch and stormed out:icon_chee Can't be sure if it is true but it is hilarious.

Your friend must have been gutted!
 
LogicalInsanity said:
This is more strange than funny....but I have a story..

I was having drinks at a local bar/lounge...and one of the regulars there and I had been chatting it up everytime we see one another.

Long story short, I have several drinks...I'm feeling kinda tipsy and am looking for a rebound...she isn't a 10...maybe a 5.5 on anyones scale...but to a drunk, guy craving a rebound she's a 9.

She asks me back to her place...and of course I accept. She lived in a 1 bedroom, very small apartment. We are on her couch...having another beverage and are about to get down to business....and then she asks, "do you want to meet my dad?"

I'm thinking, "WTF!?!?!" how is there another person in this cramped small apartment?

She goes in the other room...and comes back with a card board box...in it are her father's ashes...

I am beyond weirded out...so I make up a story and leave.
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Oh...

my....

God. :eek:
 
LogicalInsanity said:
This is more strange than funny....but I have a story..

I was having drinks at a local bar/lounge...and one of the regulars there and I had been chatting it up everytime we see one another.

Long story short, I have several drinks...I'm feeling kinda tipsy and am looking for a rebound...she isn't a 10...maybe a 5.5 on anyones scale...but to a drunk, guy craving a rebound she's a 9.

She asks me back to her place...and of course I accept. She lived in a 1 bedroom, very small apartment. We are on her couch...having another beverage and are about to get down to business....and then she asks, "do you want to meet my dad?"

I'm thinking, "WTF!?!?!" how is there another person in this cramped small apartment?

She goes in the other room...and comes back with a card board box...in it are her father's ashes...

I am beyond weirded out...so I make up a story and leave.
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ohhh what?

i wouldnt even know how to respond, or react. like im supposed to pretend to be sad? i wouldnt even know what expression to make

damn dude
 
BobbyMunson said:
Haha that is fucking awesome.

I heard a story on another forum where a guy pished the bed during the night, woke up and pushed her over to the wet area and woke her up, accused of of being a dirty bitch and stormed out:icon_chee Can't be sure if it is true but it is hilarious.

Your friend must have been gutted!
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It's a Tucker Max story.
 
BobbyMunson said:
Haha that is fucking awesome.

I heard a story on another forum where a guy pished the bed during the night, woke up and pushed her over to the wet area and woke her up, accused of of being a dirty bitch and stormed out:icon_chee Can't be sure if it is true but it is hilarious.

Your friend must have been gutted!
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Hahah I don't doubt its legitimacy. Maybe my friend should have done the same, just rolled her over his shit instead of running around smearing it all over the place. We men go great lengths and sometimes do some crazy stuff to protect our honour.

He was, my friend, believe me lol!
 
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