First date horror stories

[lowsingle]

lol, how old are you threadstarter?

that sounds like stuff i went through in high school.

23 turning 24

 

[IIIIIIII]

Shit like this makes you want to give up dating altogether.

i honestly think that online dating is a waste of time and money.

even if you end up meeting a great girl, she will probably continue to have an online profile, and some other dude will begin to contact her, and she'll try him out to see if he's better. in time, she'll find someone else to replace you.

i think it's better to find women, "in the real world", where you meet them and all your questions about what they look like, how they are as people, etc. are answered, so you don't waste your time hoping that someone ends up being the way you'd like.

 

[Fenderson]

i honestly think that online dating is a waste of time and money.

even if you end up meeting a great girl, she will probably continue to have an online profile, and some other dude will begin to contact her, and she'll try him out to see if he's better. in time, she'll find someone else to replace you.

i think it's better to find women, "in the real world", where you meet them and all your questions about what they look like, how they are as people, etc. are answered, so you don't waste your time hoping that someone ends up looking the way you'd like.

How is that exclusive to online dating? Women can do that in the 'real world' as well.

 

[Brotha Will]

i honestly think that online dating is a waste of time and money.

even if you end up meeting a great girl, she will probably continue to have an online profile, and some other dude will begin to contact her, and she'll try him out to see if he's better. in time, she'll find someone else to replace you.

i think it's better to find women, "in the real world", where you meet them and all your questions about what they look like, how they are as people, etc. are answered, so you don't waste your time hoping that someone ends up being the way you'd like.

Tried it briefly and yes this the correct answer 98% time. Temple Pillars droppin knowledge bombs guys, pay close attention.

 

[Brotha Will]

How is that exclusive to online dating? Women can do that in the 'real world' as well.

Yeah but you can't......
Dubs avoided

 

[IIIIIIII]

How is that exclusive to online dating? Women can do that in the 'real world' as well.

i didn't mean to imply that it's exclusive to online dating. what i meant to say, was that it's a lot more prevalent with online dating.

you don't come across as much competition in the real world, because there aren't as many dudes hitting on that same girl...unless she's a model-type.

 

[Fenderson]

Yeah but you can't......
Dubs avoided

Sorry I don't understand what you mean.

 

[AgentOrange24]

I've told this story on here before but I feel like I need to share it again now for all the laughs this thread's given me.

This happened back around 2008 when The Dark Knight came out (this becomes important later). I was at the bar and by pure chance I ran into this girl I knew from high school. She was pretty much the school slut, except not attractive enough for me to want to risk teh herps. She ended up rather good looking though, and it didn't take long for me to get her to come home with me (I knew she was interested in me before so I had no problems making a pass at her).

So we're both drunk and being silly, just making out on the couch for awhile before she tries dragging me upstairs. I didn't feel like traversing the stairs though (half due to laziness and half due to not wanting to fall on my face), so she gets the bright idea to get on all fours on the living room rug. Worked for me. So she's face down ass up and we're going at it like this for awhile... so long in fact that when we finish up and I move to lay next to her, she turns and shows ALL THE CARPET BURN on one side of her face. Being drunk (and a total movie nerd), I thought it was a good idea to talk in the Batman voice and start likening her to Harvey Two Face. She gets pissed and starts to leave. I shout after her "I get it. I got the dick you want, but not the one your pussy needs right now." Got a slap for that one before she left.

Haven't heard from her since.

I haven't laughed at something on the internet in a long time.

The most powerful YLYL thread hasn't foiled me in months.

But THIS fucking story, holy shit.

You are a hero.

 

[Double Leg]

i honestly think that online dating is a waste of time and money.

even if you end up meeting a great girl, she will probably continue to have an online profile, and some other dude will begin to contact her, and she'll try him out to see if he's better. in time, she'll find someone else to replace you.

i think it's better to find women, "in the real world", where you meet them and all your questions about what they look like, how they are as people, etc. are answered, so you don't waste your time hoping that someone ends up being the way you'd like.

Somebody broke your heart. Don't be sad. We have all gone through it.

 

[Bukowski82]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

 

[IIIIIIII]

Somebody broke your heart. Don't be sad. We have all gone through it.

lol, who's heart hasn't been?

i'm just saying that there are tons of dudes who are pining for the same woman that you are when it comes to online dating. the women who aren't online dating aren't being as eagerly pursued.

it's not that hard to figure out.

 

[KOCowboy]

jesus fucking christ, she already texted me. i wish i was mean enough to tell her to leave me alone, but im beta as fuck, so ill just ignore her

tell her to text 9198883281

 

[xcvbn]

I have an okay one:

Met this chick at a bar and got her number. She was like 5'1 110lbs, tiny but had a tight body, tatted up- she was hot. So we set up a night to go out to play pool and drink. She invites me to her house, where her parents also live, and we go out back and drink some more. I of course grab her and pick her up on my lap and we start making out, I'm copping a feel, thinking this is gonna end well.

So I'm fucking primed and ready, shes dripping wet, and I just can't wait any longer. I tell her we should go in her room......and that killed it. She said her parents were I side, so I said lets fuck outside....there came an awkward silence and her giving me the I'm tired deal so then I was asked to leave.

I rubbed one out on the car ride home.

 

[Candide]

i can't sleep over, i have to wake up early for church tomorrow

tomorrow, january first

-____________-

 

[xcvbn]

Gotta hand it to the womenz, they know how to play the game and they play it well. They literally have our balls in a vice at times

 

[KOCowboy]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

do you have a mask phobia? i dont understand the problem.

 

[Bukowski82]

do you have a mask phobia? i dont understand the problem.

Perhaps I didn't do a good job explaining it... This place made Buffalo Bill's basement look like a god-damn 5 star hotel... It was by far the creepiest place i'd ever seen. IRL, on movies... anywhere.

And to make matters worse, she got really weird and refused to acknowledge how creepy the situation was when I kept indirectly asking her wtf was going on...

It reminded me of the movie Tomcats where the guy picks up that mousey librarian and goes back to her place only to find out she was this dominatrix. Except it was way creepier.

 

[lowsingle]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

holy shit dude, youre a brave man. i wouldve ran, those creepy doll things are my kryptonite. there are 2 things that happen regularly in my nightmares. those dolls turning to look at me and my reflection making a different expression than me.

thanks for sharing that traumatic experience

 

[Asathor]

I haven't laughed at something on the internet in a long time.

The most powerful YLYL thread hasn't foiled me in months.

But THIS fucking story, holy shit.

You are a hero.

A hero. Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed. Nothing less than a knight. Shining.

 

[Stargazer Rex]

Ha, that was pretty good. I have one that's sort of similar.

I met this girl online. She's was good looking in her pictures. I got her to send me some nudes. She had gigantic knockers. I can't remember her size but I remember some of my other girlfriends telling me that that size didn't even exist. She lived a couple hours away and I didn't have a car at the time so she said she would come to me. The next day she texted me telling me that she was on her way but her car was broke so she was having her friend drive her. It was a man friend. Once I met him I realized he was one of those poor friend zoned chaps. I can't imagine why he agreed to drive her, maybe he thought he could **** block me. Also, I can't understand why she thought it was a good idea have this guy drive her. I could've waited for her car to be fixed.

They arrive, she's fatter than in her pictures. She has a pretty face though and those tits were real so I was still down. I took her to a bar. She then tells me she is younger than what she told me online. She can't drink but they still let her in. It's just me and her friend drinking. We don't stay long. We leave and pickup some beer and decide to hang out at my place. After about the most awkward 20 minutes of drinking and small chat I've ever had to endure she asks where the bathroom is. I tell her I'll show her. It's upstairs right next my bedroom.

We came back downstairs 12 hours later. She was actually really good in bed and she was not quiet. Her friend had to stay downstairs and listen to us have sex all night. We didn't even have a tv he could watch.

In bed she gave me her grandmothers ring to signify how much I meant to her. They left the next morning and I had to wear that girly ring in public for an hour while we got breakfast.

A week later she realized she made a mistake be giving me that ring, maybe because I wasn't replying to any of her texts. I sent it back to her in the mail.

Fucking loled