First date horror stories

After debating whether or not to tell this story for a few minutes I've decided to just go ahead with it. This post is probably going to get me banned from to forum, but I was 16 at the time and had never had sex before.

So one day in the 10th grade I was walking home and I see a not-so-skinny girl crying at the side of the park. So I decide to be a nice guy and take her home. She then proceeds to show me her bar, and me being a wannabe alcoholic at the time was very happy to gaze through it. So needless to say I get fairly hammered, and I take off my shirt. Apparently my 3pack turned her on and we decide to go have sex upstairs (yippee right?).

Anyway, shes giving me a bit of resistance but I finally managed to get through. She's naked, in front of me....and a problem arises (or I guess didn't rise). I couldn't get it up.

I exclaim: "It's not going up..this has never happened to me before.try sucking on it and see what happens.."

She obliges and that's when I realize what the problem was..I had to take a piss.. I'm sure you can work out what happened next. Needless to say that made her day quite a bit worse, and gained the story of a lifetime.

Oddly enough since then I've actually had a lot of trouble getting it up (especially when I'm standing), although that seems to be getting better now.
 
lowsingle said:
the first one wasnt as good of a story. basically in high school, i was at a party and my girlfriend was making out with another girl because they were both shitfaced drunk. we ended up in a bedroom alone somehow, and i pretended to be more drunk than i was and "mistake" her friend for my girl. i said my girlfriends name "graaace" and came forward, and we made out for like 10 seconds. then grace said "thats not me!" and pulled me off and onto her. then i started undressing her, and th friend started wrestling around with both of us. i started struggling to pull their shirts off and they were letting me while making out with each other

then some drunk asshole opened the door to the room and both my girlfriend and her friend darted into the bathroom to put their clothes back on

so nothing ended up happening and we never mentioned it again

sorry for the disappointing story

they were hot as fuck, hottest girlfriend i ever had
they were both asian and looked like twins
i still think about it when i have sex and cant get off
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I've experienced this exact scenario. There was hell to pay, I became violent.
 
I once had a Date with a Girl who wrote me on FB. I didn't know her and the First Thing i noticed was that she had no pics of her Face. Only some of her Body (which was realy hot). So, the brave soldier i am, i went on a Date with her.
We Met at her place and wanted to go into a Club.
As she opens the door, i am standing there holding my breath, ready to gaze into the face of Horror. And then i see her face for the first time and she is pretty, realy Pretty.

Then she asks me to come in and give me one of these stares, i don't know how to Name it, you know when a girl Says with her eyes: "i will fuck you."
She says if we could wait a little bit, she needs to wait for somebody. No problem with me. We sit there Talking and we understand each other really well. Then she starts to smoke some weed, i don't do this but no problem for me. After an hour this three Guys Show up.

Two of them wait at the door one comes in and asks:
"do you have it?"
And she says
"how much do you want"
"A whole pack."
He gives her Money and she hands him a plastic-pack. The three guys leave and she Stands up asking if we can go.

So we are driving in my Car to the Club, as she asks me to stop. I park the Car and we start making out. After some time here mobile phone Starts to Ring. She is talking on the phone, getting really pissed. She is starting to scream shit like: I will send (insert Name) to Break youre legs ********* and shit like that. She hangs up after 5 some time and tells me to Drive to this One Club who is known for all the Junkies who are Always there.

As we arrive the bouncer directly calls at her to come in. In the Club she leads me to a corner with some places to sit and Stuff like this. And every 5 minutes some Guy Shows up Talks to her, gives her some money and she gives him One of these plastic packs. After 3-4 hours she suddenly asks me if i Want to dance. I say ok, stand up and reach with my hands out, so she can grab it. I Look on the dancefloor and back to her and see how she takes a pill. I lean forward to her and ask her what that was,
"Oh just some Ecstasy, i nearly selled everything tonight, now we can have Fun."
And i look at her say something like: that is Not cool with me, i am out.
And all of sudden she Freaks out. Screaming shit like: you motherfucking pussy, i thought you love me and Stuff like that. Then she throws a bottle at me and Hit some Guy behind me. And everything is just getting out of Control. And i don't Want any part of that, so i turned around and Walk to the exit.

After a few steps something jumps on my back and suddenly there is this massive pain in my neck. This Bitch jumped on myback and bit me. So i am trying to get her to let go. I Hit her had against the wall and Stuff like that. The People are just staring at us. Finally the bouncers arrive. One grips me and two her, trying to pull her of. After some struggle they can pull her off. I am bleeding like nothing, she bit me really hard and deep. And she starts to attack the bouncers. A Short time later the cops arrive and she Starts attacking them. The policemen and the bouncers are needed to wrestle her Down and Arrest her.
After some questions from the Cops i am Free to go home.
 
Omg^^ dude

Should have just popped the pill and gotten laid
 
Mr Gorgeous said:
We came back downstairs 12 hours later. She was actually really good in bed and she was not quiet. Her friend had to stay downstairs and listen to us have sex all night. We didn't even have a tv he could watch.
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That's one of the funniest things I've ever read. Thanks for sharing. Poor guy also had to spend hours in the car with her after that. I really hope the guy is gay, otherwise that's supremely pathetic.
 
mr.bigglesworth said:
Omg^^ dude

Should have just popped the pill and gotten laid
Click to expand...

Never stick your dick in crazy.
I don't take drugs and have no problem with others who use them, as long as they leave me alone with it. But dealing this shit was a little bit to much for me
 
I lol'd @ your story... welcome to online dating.

This one isn't mine but it's one of the most cringe worthy things ever:


As you all know we planned to go to Texas Roadhouse and I was to pick her up at 8. Well lets just say this date was not a pleasant one. I arrived at her place at exactly 8pm, not a min late not a min early. When she walked out the door she was looking gorgeous, way hotter than in her pics. So hot that i stuttered saying "hi I am Magic_man" her response "what was that" me "I said hi my names Magic_man" her "oh hey" then I stuck out my hand for a hand shake, when our hands connected i bowed my head to her as if i was giving a nod of respect (so stupid on my part i regretted it the moment i saw my feet) (the hug would have been better)

As were driving to Texas Roadhouse I couldn't really think of single thing to say, I was too nervous to even look over at her, So i kept my eyes on the road for the most part. Thank God Texas Roadhouse was close by.

Inside the restaurant we got seated and i ordered some alcohol. I mentioned i was 22 and if she wanted I could buy her a drink. She said sure and I bought her alcohol. Thank god I didn't get in trouble for that one wheww. She thought it was funny how our moms set this date up. I said yeah this is a first for me too (little did she know it was my first date) She also liked the fact i was 22. I tried to get a picture of the two of us but she said "no thanks I never look good in pictures" I gave her a bert stare and had her take one of me being funny holding my id
texas.jpg

Then things took a turn drastic turn for the worst. We both sat there in an awkward silence, I had nothing to say, my mind felt paused. I had already asked her if she works out. So I panicked and asked hey do you like video games. She smiled awkwardly and "said um no haha" me"have you ever played them before"? her"umm i have" me"nice" more awkward silence was in the air. I was getting more nervous, and uttered out the most idiotic thing I could have said "Do you like daggers" Her "what? umm never really thought about them before" I could see her looking at her phone, looking at her hair, looking at her shirt. I then started getting really really nervous, and had a panic attack. I couldn't swallow, I felt like I was dying. I started sweating really bad, and was using napkins to wipe my face and forehead. she got got scared and kept saying "omg are you alright". I then closed my eyes to focus on other things hoping the panic would go away..... It didn't. I then put my head down on the table with both hands over my head and focused on breathing, in and out. (felt like such **********) but I was really freaking out thinking I was dying. Eventually it become unbearable so I got up and made my way to the restroom. I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but a man with no confidence, a man too scared to even look at a female let alone talk to one, a man with nothing to lose, a man that needs to change. For this isolation and solitude has made me even more awkward than before . However, considering I haven't talked to a female in several months this behavior was to be expected, but never to this degree. I vomited in the toilet, washed my face off with water, patted it dry. then confidently walked back to our table.

The girl looked scared to death, and asked "do you need to go home, do you need medicine?" me "nah just got a little lightheaded, must be the spicy food" She gave me a "wtf look". I had the waiter bring me a water. about 5 seconds after getting the water spilled it on the table (fml). We then decided it was time to leave.

When getting into my car she put her hand on the door to open it, I yelled halt, and moved her hand away and opened the door for her. "she laughed and said thanks". While driving i asked if she wanted to do something else tonight. "she said she was really tired and was probably just going to go to bed" When we pulled up to her place she said thanks for the meal hope you're feeling better soon. "i told her nah I am fine, spicy food makes me woosie" I then thought to myself its never gonna come my way again, not with a girl this beautiful. So i put my hand on her thigh and said "would it be alright if i kissed you?" her " sorry i don't kiss on the first date" "oh, would you like to go out again sometime?" she hesitated and said "yeah but only as friends" i felt my heart drop. with a look of disappointment i said "ah okay cool, i had fun tonight" her "yeah" then she left.

I drove home feeling so beta. How could i fail this hard, Will muscle change things? Its got to right? From here on out i dedicated myself to the gym. But would also like some advice on what went wrong? how can I improve for my next date, when ever that may be, if one ever comes my way again.
 
on pof this fine ass chick ive been messaging finally wanted to meet but I had to be approved first by one of her gay guy friends. i would have to go on a date with him first his job was to see what I was like, to see what i smelled like and some other weird shit like that. And if I had approval from him then she would date me.

I told her to fuck off im not going to do any gay shit.
 
Quality thread. Never been on a date, and this thread reminds me of why.

Might aswell go for one, so I can contribute.
 
futzqz said:
on pof this fine ass chick ive been messaging finally wanted to meet but I had to be approved first by one of her gay guy friends. i would have to go on a date with him first his job was to see what I was like, to see what i smelled like and some other weird shit like that. And if I had approval from him then she would date me.

I told her to fuck off im not going to do any gay shit.
Click to expand...

You couldn't post on your other account?
 
RoryFan said:
I lol'd @ your story... welcome to online dating.

This one isn't mine but it's one of the most cringe worthy things ever:


As you all know we planned to go to Texas Roadhouse and I was to pick her up at 8. Well lets just say this date was not a pleasant one. I arrived at her place at exactly 8pm, not a min late not a min early. When she walked out the door she was looking gorgeous, way hotter than in her pics. So hot that i stuttered saying "hi I am Magic_man" her response "what was that" me "I said hi my names Magic_man" her "oh hey" then I stuck out my hand for a hand shake, when our hands connected i bowed my head to her as if i was giving a nod of respect (so stupid on my part i regretted it the moment i saw my feet) (the hug would have been better)

As were driving to Texas Roadhouse I couldn't really think of single thing to say, I was too nervous to even look over at her, So i kept my eyes on the road for the most part. Thank God Texas Roadhouse was close by.

Inside the restaurant we got seated and i ordered some alcohol. I mentioned i was 22 and if she wanted I could buy her a drink. She said sure and I bought her alcohol. Thank god I didn't get in trouble for that one wheww. She thought it was funny how our moms set this date up. I said yeah this is a first for me too (little did she know it was my first date) She also liked the fact i was 22. I tried to get a picture of the two of us but she said "no thanks I never look good in pictures" I gave her a bert stare and had her take one of me being funny holding my id
texas.jpg

Then things took a turn drastic turn for the worst. We both sat there in an awkward silence, I had nothing to say, my mind felt paused. I had already asked her if she works out. So I panicked and asked hey do you like video games. She smiled awkwardly and "said um no haha" me"have you ever played them before"? her"umm i have" me"nice" more awkward silence was in the air. I was getting more nervous, and uttered out the most idiotic thing I could have said "Do you like daggers" Her "what? umm never really thought about them before" I could see her looking at her phone, looking at her hair, looking at her shirt. I then started getting really really nervous, and had a panic attack. I couldn't swallow, I felt like I was dying. I started sweating really bad, and was using napkins to wipe my face and forehead. she got got scared and kept saying "omg are you alright". I then closed my eyes to focus on other things hoping the panic would go away..... It didn't. I then put my head down on the table with both hands over my head and focused on breathing, in and out. (felt like such **********) but I was really freaking out thinking I was dying. Eventually it become unbearable so I got up and made my way to the restroom. I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but a man with no confidence, a man too scared to even look at a female let alone talk to one, a man with nothing to lose, a man that needs to change. For this isolation and solitude has made me even more awkward than before . However, considering I haven't talked to a female in several months this behavior was to be expected, but never to this degree. I vomited in the toilet, washed my face off with water, patted it dry. then confidently walked back to our table.

The girl looked scared to death, and asked "do you need to go home, do you need medicine?" me "nah just got a little lightheaded, must be the spicy food" She gave me a "wtf look". I had the waiter bring me a water. about 5 seconds after getting the water spilled it on the table (fml). We then decided it was time to leave.

When getting into my car she put her hand on the door to open it, I yelled halt, and moved her hand away and opened the door for her. "she laughed and said thanks". While driving i asked if she wanted to do something else tonight. "she said she was really tired and was probably just going to go to bed" When we pulled up to her place she said thanks for the meal hope you're feeling better soon. "i told her nah I am fine, spicy food makes me woosie" I then thought to myself its never gonna come my way again, not with a girl this beautiful. So i put my hand on her thigh and said "would it be alright if i kissed you?" her " sorry i don't kiss on the first date" "oh, would you like to go out again sometime?" she hesitated and said "yeah but only as friends" i felt my heart drop. with a look of disappointment i said "ah okay cool, i had fun tonight" her "yeah" then she left.

I drove home feeling so beta. How could i fail this hard, Will muscle change things? Its got to right? From here on out i dedicated myself to the gym. But would also like some advice on what went wrong? how can I improve for my next date, when ever that may be, if one ever comes my way again.
Click to expand...

Funniest thing I've read in a while. Beta males make me laugh.
 
Sam Merlotte said:
She's got an air matress.....I quickly found out why. Won't go into detail, but use your imagination.
Click to expand...

drew a complete blank (apart from watersports) so googled "air mattress sex".

is it cause she likes to live in suspense of the 'pop'?
 
Sam Merlotte said:
Met a nice girl through a mutual friend. We decide to have dinner one night. All went well, she was quiet and I was charming. After dinner we decide to go out to a club for some cocktails. Met up with some of her friends and some of my buddies. And boy, my date had far too much to drink. I didn't like who she was while drunk, all she wanted to do was complain, plus she was sloppy as all hell. I only had two beers and baby sat her ass for the next three hours while bar hopping. At bar break I decide to drive her and one of her friends home. The friend was smoking hot, and giving me 'the look'. Turns out they were roommates. I'm invited in, I go in. The date is just laying on the love seat, texting while covering one eye. I'm on the couch.....with the friend. The friend and I share some mixed drinks, then lay down together under a blanket. My date is completely oblivious to whats going on, I'm spooning the friend and begin feeling her up. She can't help but notice the crowding in my jeans, and pulls her pants down. I pull mine down. IN. Things get a little carried away, and we're going at full bore in open view. Finally my date notices, yells at us, and goes to her room. We continue, eventually making our way to the bedroom. She's got an air matress.....I quickly found out why. Won't go into detail, but use your imagination. Wait, this didn't turn out bad after all. I love my life.
Click to expand...

Man, I hate you. You're lucky the chick you went on the date with didn't shank you though, would have been a weird way to go, having a fling with the hot roommate while the jealous date stumbled in, slashing herself first in her alcohol fueled rage. The air bed would probably get popped though, mood would be ruined. Sounds like a decent short story...I feel like I'd probably get more winging manning you for a week than I have in my entire life.

But yeah, I don't have any stories like this. I was on an "alternative" dating site and something weird happened as a result of it, but that's not a story I share. It would fit well here though.
 
CrazyJHL said:
But yeah, I don't have any stories like this. I was on an "alternative" dating site and something weird happened as a result of it, but that's not a story I share. It would fit well here though.
Click to expand...

You know, the shergods would be pleased with this Story. So tell us.
 
Quality posts already thanks for all the laughs at work.
 
I have a job interview this morning and was feeling comfortable until I read this thread. Now, I am terrified of what might happen. What if the interviewer is snaggle-toothed or weighs 400 lbs? What if he/she hits on me (as has happened before)? Ugh.

One irony is that I always mess dates up by talking too much, which is also how I can screw up an interview. I am practicing giving short answers.
 
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