Relationships Does anyone regret having kids?

[Phlog]

Cheetah does not, but cheetah also doesn't have human intelligence and the ability to assess alternatives to specie propagation. Humans have imagination and self-awareness, and with that, the ability to imagine lives that do not involve procreation and all the attendant stress and lifestyle adjustments. If anything here is fucking retarded, it's your comparison of humans to cheetahs.



"Sufficient rewards" you speak of are neither guaranteed nor are they objectively rewards - they're purely subjective.

Poor people having kids all the time is by no stretch of the imagination an argument in favor of having a child. The quality of life you can afford your child should actually play a role in the decision to have one, that we need to argue about this in 2020 is beyond fucking insane.



Elicit. Also, I have literally no idea what this whole passage means.

You assign too much to human intelligence, is normal, you're a human and full of yourself. One could be talking about great apes, orca, humpback whales, all life that raises it's young.

Broadly speaking behaviours drive the creation of stories that explain them. Humans commonly are able to create stories and change their behaviours to fit them. As evidenced by how many obese people there are. There are obviously many non obese people who are just lucky to be slim also.

The rewards are subjective, of course they are. It's the subject that matters.

The quality of life of a poor child in our countries is amazing, it's just not as good relatively to the wealthy, possibly. Many poor people would disagree with your characterisation of their hideous existence. The most important things to a child are as in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, primarily the lack of abuse. Even the poor of my country can provide that for their children.

 

[MaxMMA]

Kids really aren't that expensive if you can convince your woman that the baby doesn't need brand new, name brand shit.

Second hand stores for baby necessities like cribs/clothes will save you thousands of dollars.

Do not thrown money down the drain by buying your kid designer shit that he will outgrow literally within weeks.

Of course if you're pussy whipped this is much easier said than done.

 

[Cpt Migraine]

You assign too much to human intelligence, is normal, you're a human and full of yourself. One could be talking about great apes, orca, humpback whales, all life that raises it's young.

Broadly speaking behaviours drive the creation of stories that explain them. Humans commonly are able to create stories and change their behaviours to fit them. As evidenced by how many obese people there are. There are obviously many non obese people who are just lucky to be slim also.

The rewards are subjective, of course they are. It's the subject that matters.

The quality of life of a poor child in our countries is amazing, it's just not as good relatively to the wealthy, possibly. Many poor people would disagree with your characterisation of their hideous existence. The most important things to a child are as in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, primarily the lack of abuse. Even the poor of my country can provide that for their children.

No disrespect intended.. i like you..

But you speak as if having kids is a given.. for someone who doesn't "like" kids a kid adds no value.. you wouldn't ask someone who doesn't care for dogs WHEN they are getting a dog..

with your argumentation it's always better to have a kid than to not have a kid since rate of survival is very high.. that would be a great argument if everybody wanted kids..

For me personally a kid would only add value if, and only if i'm rich/have enough spare time to not having to compromise with anything.. ie breeding is only interesting when you have achieved everything as a kid isn't an achievement in itself..

The way friends/collegues talk about their relationships, economy and health after getting kids is not a great selling point..

yeah, sure.. you love your kid and you might feel happy but objectively you're uglier, your partner is uglier, you have less money, less free time, less time at work, more fights with your partner etc.. this isn't true for everyone ofcourse..

 

[Oblivian]

How do you have energy? I work for a day, go and lift after work, and I'm exhausted. Can't imagine getting up two hours earlier to deal with kids and spending the evening taking care of them as well.

It's work capacity like anything else. First it may seem overwhelming, but you get used to it. There really isn't any idle time is the main difference. My parents usually ask for a sleepover with my two oldest on Saturdays. We still have the baby, and honestly, it seems like we have so much extra time.

 

[I Am Legion]

Its a lot of work, but it also the most rewarding. I will say if you are a selfish person, you will not be a good parent. They come first. Good news is they go to bed early for first 6-8 years so you will at least have nights....if they sleep well.

 

[Oblivian]

Kids really aren't that expensive if you can convince your woman that the baby doesn't need brand new, name brand shit.

Second hand stores for baby necessities like cribs/clothes will save you thousands of dollars.

Do not thrown money down the drain by buying your kid designer shit that he will outgrow literally within weeks.

Of course if you're pussy whipped this is much easier said than done.

Not sure that I agree with kids not being expensive. How old are your kids? I remember grocery bills when it was just the wife and I being around $125-$150 a week. We spend well over $300 now. Activities put us up another $75 a month. We are putting away $150 a month (which really isn't a lot) for college for each - multiply that by 3. Wait until they are old enough for a phone, car, etc.

 

[Cole train]

Btw personally think that people should have kids because someone needs to watch over you when you are old.(one of the reasons why poor countries have so many kids)

 

[MaxMMA]

Not sure that I agree with kids not being expensive. How old are your kids? I remember grocery bills when it was just the wife and I being around $125-$150 a week. We spend well over $300 now. Activities put us up another $75 a month. We are putting away $150 a month (which really isn't a lot) for college for each - multiply that by 3. Wait until they are old enough for a phone, car, etc.

12 and 13. Cell phone for one, I used to pay out the ass for guitar lessons but they decided to stop. My kids and I only eat real food. I don't drop tons of money on filler foods/snacks like a lot of people do. If you're hungry there is meat and rice in the fridge. If you're thirsty drink water.

99% of clothes come from thrift stores/Goodwill.

My kids go to public school and both on the honor roll. Sometimes we do stuff like go out to eat or arcade, go karts etc but most of our weekends are spent hiking, fishing, parks, etc. Free or close to free.

For years I did things this way because I had to. Now I just do it because I don't see any reason to drop cash on crap that's not all that great anyway.

Why drop 40-$50 on movies/consessions when we can take a 15 minute walk to the library get books and movies for free? Last time we did that there was a food festival going on downtown that we stubbled upon that killed most of the afternoon. Filled up on free samples lofl.

Maybe it's just me and my penny pinching ways but you really don't have drop money to fill your time.

 

[Phlog]

No disrespect intended.. i like you..

But you speak as if having kids is a given.. for someone who doesn't "like" kids a kid adds no value.. you wouldn't ask someone who doesn't care for dogs WHEN they are getting a dog..

with your argumentation it's always better to have a kid than to not have a kid since rate of survival is very high.. that would be a great argument if everybody wanted kids..

For me personally a kid would only add value if, and only if i'm rich/have enough spare time to not having to compromise with anything.. ie breeding is only interesting when you have achieved everything as a kid isn't an achievement in itself..

The way friends/collegues talk about their relationships, economy and health after getting kids is not a great selling point..

yeah, sure.. you love your kid and you might feel happy but objectively you're uglier, your partner is uglier, you have less money, less free time, less time at work, more fights with your partner etc.. this isn't true for everyone ofcourse..

Hey man, I ain't trying to sell you on having kids. Have or don't, whatever. I was just trying to explain that people don't in general have to pretend that they like having the kids they have. That there's evolutionary reasons for that.

FWIW I like you too!

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

No I don’t, my nearly 5 year old is awesome, like a little best mate, go to the football together, play guitar etc, good times

 

[Alphaboy]

Nope, we waited and planned it out.

I do have days where I reminisce about the times I was childless and could actually do shit, but I don't regret it.

 

[Starck]

Felt regret for the first year, but it has gotten better and better. No regrets now at 2.5 years old.

 

[Gus Fring]

Your mom does

 

[CI]

i think if im rich, kids would be fun. no need to worry about finances and just focus on the kids development. being broke and having a kid, i would not survive. i just worry about the implications of possible divorce and child support.

 

[BearGrounds]

Yeah because they're forcibly pushed out of a vagina then breath air for the first time lol. It's traumatic.

"It's traumatic".

Exactly.

 

[Islam Imamate]

Do any of you guys have kids and wish you had not?
I dumped a clip in the Mrs. and now shes pregnant, it'll be both of ours 1st kid. We're in our early 30's, she's excited I am too but I'm the type of person who enjoys my free time to do my own thing after work and on the weekends, I've pretty much accepted that a lot of that free time will be gone once the baby is born, and money will also be tight once she takes time off work and we're paying the bills with just my income. I know most people say having kids was the best thing they ever did even though it was very hard but is there anyone out there who regrets having kids and if so why? I know maybe that's something most people won't admit so I figured maybe I'd get some honest responses on this anonymous karate forum. Thanks.

I have a cousin who at one point said she regrets having her second kid. He's a little developmentally stunted, probably at least mildly autistic, and he's always making a mess. She's a well off, cosmopolitan type women who likes to make time for reading and traveling and such things and the little guy can make that hard for her.

 

[bandicoot]

I spend every weekend with my son and his mother, and to be quite honest, couldn't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

I love being a dad and helping my little dude grow into becoming a good man. Rewarding doesn't even come close to describing how amazing it is.

 

[bandicoot]

I have a cousin who at one point said she regrets having her second kid. He's a little developmentally stunted, probably at least mildly autistic, and he's always making a mess. She's a well off, cosmopolitan type women who likes to make time for reading and traveling and such things the little guys can make that hard for her.

I feel sorry for her second kid. Hopefully there will come a day that she realizes how selfish her desires are and puts forth her best effort into raising the little dude.

 

[Islam Imamate]

I feel sorry for her second kid. Hopefully there will come a day that she realizes how selfish her desires are and puts forth her best effort into raising the little dude.

She's a working mom so she does put effort into raising her kids in the form of really investing in them by paying for private schools and nannies and whatnot. But yeah she sometimes surprises the family with some of the things she said. Like she once said she doesn't even really like women who make their motherhood a big part of their identity, who talk about their kids all the time and whatnot. Like I said she's the type who'd rather talk about the latest book she read or vacation she's had.

Thankfully the dad is like the opposite. Some people in the family think he's too optimistic, he's not very worried at all that the kid is a bit late with certain milestones and seems to have faith that he'll turn out just fine. Honestly don't feel too bad for the kid, overall he's really privileged and I'm with the dad in that I am personally am not worried for him at all. I really think he'll just grow up to be like mildly autistic guy at worst.

 

[bandicoot]

She's a working mom so she does put effort into raising her kids in the form of really investing in them by paying for private schools and nannies and whatnot. But yeah she sometimes surprises the family with some of the things she said. Like she once said she doesn't even really like women who make their motherhood a big part of their identity, who talk about their kids all the time and whatnot. Like I said she's the type who'd rather talk about the latest book she read or vacation she's had.

Thankfully the dad is like the opposite. Some people in the family think he's too optimistic, he's not very worried at all that the kid is a bit late with certain milestones and seems to have faith that he'll turn out just fine. Honestly don't feel too bad for the kid, overall he's really privileged and I'm with the dad in that I am personally am not worried for him at all. I really think he'll just grow up to be like mildly autistic guy at worst.

If mildly autistic is the worst that happens, the next logical step is being excited we'll have another Sherbro to add to the ranks.