Relationships Does anyone regret having kids?

[Kuona]

Your mom does

<Lmaoo>

 

[Phlog]

A friend of mine regrets it. She had her daughter aged 17 with a fuck up who didn't stick around. She would always be in the club getting shitfaced whist her mother looked after her kid. You could always tell she resented the situation.

Yes its literally the worst thing that will happen in your life.
no sleep
no money
no hobbies
no free time
no sex
You will look and feel like shit due to lack of exercise and crappy diet

ignore anyone who says positive shit its lies. Be prepared. Enjoy the gestational period as its the last chance youll have to enjoy anything

I got twins aged 5, that's harder work than your single efforts at least for the first few years and whilst the first few months was difficult I still slept 8hrs a day,
Was lucky financially and held down two jobs,
Kept gaming online when they were napping,
Created an American football team,
Lifted 3 times a week for 1.5hrs,


Only doom you pronounced that came true was lack of sex for about 18 months. That was hard but I knuckled down and did my part. It's been the best thing to happen in my life easily, made me a much better person.

Not for one single second. The key is having a partner you can count on. I find most that say they regret it suck at parenting, or are selfish, and or are usually with a loser partner that offers no support.

This this this this this

How do you have energy? I work for a day, go and lift after work, and I'm exhausted. Can't imagine getting up two hours earlier to deal with kids and spending the evening taking care of them as well.

I get up at 7, get kids ready and to school, go to work, get home and play with them, have dinner, put em to bed and sleep by 19:30, garage gym until 21:00, shower and then game with mates or watch TV with wife till 11, read for 30min and sleep. On days off lifting I do chores, Saturday is home stuff day and Sunday I play/coach football and then chill.

Sleep and diet are essential and don't kill yourself training, work up to it.

Everyone regrets having kids, just no one is brave enough to admit it.

I've tried to be 100% honest on sherdog, because I can be, I don't have to worry about any ramifications or appearances so I can just lay myself bare. I'm planning to save all my posts for my kids to read one day so they can get a better idea of me if they care at all, if I die early etc.

I have never once regretted having kids. I've asked myself if I have and everytime there is an absolute wall of certainty, like a universal truth. I would die this instant for them if it was necessary with not a moment hesitation.

Plenty of people regret having kids. Some people don't.

Don't have any and I'm happy about that. I'm too fucked up and chronically unstable to raise kids. So were some of my friends but they had em anyway.

think you would make a good father

Best advice I can give you TS is let having children change you. It'll up your game.

 

[LHWBelt]

I kind of do because I want to be an actual good parent. It's kinda easy to just throw them an iPad and continue to do your usual things. But since I want to be an actual parent, I gave up all my free time just like TS described.

The first year was the worst, having to wake up every 2 hours to feed the baby and changing the diaper. Now it's a bit better. But all my free time still goes to him. I come back from work and I have to feed him, wash him, read him books and hopefully he goes to sleep without a fuss. I gave up TV too because I don't want my kid to watch TV, at least not until grade school. On weekends, we go to the park or other kiddie places. Pretty boring.

It's not all bad. You're essentially growing up with your kid. Both of you will be extremely excited for every milestone the kid reaches. It's amazing seeing the smile on my kid's face when he finally started walking on his own. At the moment, you're thinking to yourself that it's all worth it. I didn't know this before but they get equally excited with each milestone as we do.

But if you're like every other parents I see on the street who don't mind their kid's face glued to the screen, then it's only the first 6-12 months that will be bad. After that initial 6-12 months, then it'll be normal. Throw them an iPad and continue your usual self. I see parents do that in restaurants and other public places all the time. The kid is trying to talk, throw them the iPad so they will shut up. I've seen grandmas feeding the kid on the iPad.

tl;dr: it can be hard or it can easy. Depends on what kind of a parent you want to be.

This is true for sure. My nephew is 3 and gets parented that way at times. My son is 6 months and hes watching music videos a few times but like less than a few hours of tv total in his life. I still put tv on here and there if hes preoccupied but if he starts watching I turn it off. The other day he found his feet and was playing with them for like an hour so I watched parks and rec for a bit. When he was done we played on the floor and i turned it off.

 

[LHWBelt]

Anyone of sound mind and understanding would be regretful for condemning another to this cruel world based chiefly upon suffering.

The first thing a baby does once born is cry, and as such the stage is therupon set.

Yeah because they're forcibly pushed out of a vagina then breath air for the first time lol. It's traumatic.

 

[LHWBelt]

I do, but only for their sake. Just wish they had a better father than I myself can be. I’m clearly not the best father, and we look around and see these really good dads that are way better equipped, and far better at their duties than myself.

love having them, just wish I had more of a strong parental drive inside. It’s unfair to them.

Man up and be better then.

 

[Satur9]

Man up and be better then.

Lol yep.

in all honesty, it isn’t as easy as that, if you are honest with yourself.

 

[Darth_Inv1ctu5]

most people probably do but they brainwashed and repressed themselves into believing that kids are the best thing that ever happened to them
can't be better than 100 playmates sucking your dick forever, bros
i know you lying
in before fatherly advice from experience

I actually tend to agree with this, maybe I wouldn't say most, but a much larger chunk than just the ones who openly admit to it. At a certain level, it's a specie survival tactic to force yourself to believe that nurturing your offspring is the best use of your time and money, if people started actually analyzing the pros and cons in earnest, we'd die off the planet in an single generation.

I'm in a situation where I'll be 35 in a few weeks, wife and I are making decent money but absolutely not the kind of money that would allow for a comfortable life with a child (unless we kept the salary and moved to Thailand). We'd have to change a lot about our life - which, to begin with, isn't lavish by any stretch of the imagination. The idea of saving for kid's college is quaint and I'd want to, but isn't realistic, unless I want to retire at 100. Kid-rearing in the US is expensive as absolute fuck, and that's not even touching on the fact that there's almost zero chance of raising a semi-sane child, unless I move to a farm in Montana. Look ahead, look astern, idiots and idiot parents in charge, you control so little of how your kid turns out, they might as well be being raised by the village. Of idiots. Your best effort and even money are no guarantee of any kind of sane upbringing unfortunately. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind having a kid - I don't actively want one, but I could get on board of having a child, if I could somehow forget almost everything I know about the world we live in. It sounds bleak because it kind of is. IDK, I really hope I'm wrong and that I'm being overly dramatic, but a casual look around the friends' families paints an unflattering picture of what child-rearing in 21st century northeast US looks like and takes.

The one thing I can't stand though are people who don't admit to just how taxing and not fun much of child-rearing is, and insist on pretending that it's the best thing ever, that's the quickest way to get me to never speak to you again, perhaps only second to people asking me when my kid is coming (like an Amazon delivery drone is just around the corner), not quite comprehending how I can be totally OK doing things in life for my own pleasure, and not for someone else's. It drives people nuts, especially the older generation and friends who already have kids and can no longer afford to go to Greece and Italy for two weeks or whatever. The notion that family line is owed extension, or that life without children is somehow pointless (or, rather, that having a child gives life a purpose?!?) or that parents are owed grandchildren because they're fucking bored? What kind of happy horseshit is that?

 

[LHWBelt]

Lol yep.

in all honesty, it isn’t as easy as that, if you are honest with yourself.

It is. I was a heavy drinker til I had my son. Now I rarely ever drink. I work 330 am to noon and pick up overtime all the time to offset the wife not working. I dont bitch when I get home and she needs a nap either and I gotta watch him even though my ass got up at 2am. We take him to the park all the time and I still got time to get my dog out (cant take him to the park he's not good on a leash). I'm absolutely a better person than when I became a dad and I do it because of my son. Just do it.

 

[Satur9]

It is. I was a heavy drinker til I had my son. Now I rarely ever drink. I work 330 am to noon and pick up overtime all the time to offset the wife not working. I dont bitch when I get home and she needs a nap either and I gotta watch him even though my ass got up at 2am. We take him to the park all the time and I still got time to get my dog out (cant take him to the park he's not good on a leash). I'm absolutely a better person than when I became a dad and I do it because of my son. Just do it.

We will agree to disagree then. Glad you found your way though. Good for you

 

[Timmahhhh]

34 when my first arrived. Career was squared away and was married 4 or 5 years before. No regrets.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

Before you start to consider hiring a hitman (or pitbull) - why don't you just take them to a country club for dogs or pet sitter kind of situation? You should be able to get a week or two for some trips.

I assume he means like 2-6 month long trips backpacking through another continent type travelling.

 

[lowlife]

I don't regret not having kids; not yet anyway, maybe I'll feel different when I'm older but I don't think so.

 

[fordman7795]

Yes its literally the worst thing that will happen in your life.
no sleep
no money
no hobbies
no free time
no sex
You will look and feel like shit due to lack of exercise and crappy diet

ignore anyone who says positive shit its lies. Be prepared. Enjoy the gestational period as its the last chance youll have to enjoy anything

Hmm well my experience is the complete opposite. I got plenty of sleep (my kids were great sleepers). Money was never an issue as we were both good earners. I still did my hobbies, hunting, ufc etc. I have as much free time as before because I work from home. My wife wanted the D again the second she was healed up. Yeah it took 6 weeks or whatever afterward but she never slowed down.

 

[Lone Coyote]

A friend of mine regrets it. She had her daughter aged 17 with a fuck up who didn't stick around. She would always be in the club getting shitfaced whist her mother looked after her kid. You could always tell she resented the situation.



I got twins aged 5, that's harder work than your single efforts at least for the first few years and whilst the first few months was difficult I still slept 8hrs a day,
Was lucky financially and held down two jobs,
Kept gaming online when they were napping,
Created an American football team,
Lifted 3 times a week for 1.5hrs,


Only doom you pronounced that came true was lack of sex for about 18 months. That was hard but I knuckled down and did my part. It's been the best thing to happen in my life easily, made me a much better person.




This this this this this



I get up at 7, get kids ready and to school, go to work, get home and play with them, have dinner, put em to bed and sleep by 19:30, garage gym until 21:00, shower and then game with mates or watch TV with wife till 11, read for 30min and sleep. On days off lifting I do chores, Saturday is home stuff day and Sunday I play/coach football and then chill.

Sleep and diet are essential and don't kill yourself training, work up to it.



I've tried to be 100% honest on sherdog, because I can be, I don't have to worry about any ramifications or appearances so I can just lay myself bare. I'm planning to save all my posts for my kids to read one day so they can get a better idea of me if they care at all, if I die early etc.

I have never once regretted having kids. I've asked myself if I have and everytime there is an absolute wall of certainty, like a universal truth. I would die this instant for them if it was necessary with not a moment hesitation.

Plenty of people regret having kids. Some people don't.








Best advice I can give you TS is let having children change you. It'll up your game.

In addition to this, kids pull the best out of you, as they learn through example.

Did you loved Christmas as a child? It's even better as a parent. Way better.

 

[Tuf_guy]

I assume he means like 2-6 month long trips backpacking through another continent type travelling.

Sounds kinda Brokeback Mountainish - or maybe has an Eat Pray Love ring to it (although I don't doubt that that is probably what he had in mind). Should be out hunting squirrels and cougars with those loyal hounds.

 

[Phlog]

I actually tend to agree with this, maybe I wouldn't say most, but a much larger chunk than just the ones who openly admit to it. At a certain level, it's a specie survival tactic to force yourself to believe that nurturing your offspring is the best use of your time and money, if people started actually analyzing the pros and cons in earnest, we'd die off the planet in an single generation.

I'm in a situation where I'll be 35 in a few weeks, wife and I are making decent money but absolutely not the kind of money that would allow for a comfortable life with a child (unless we kept the salary and moved to Thailand). We'd have to change a lot about our life - which, to begin with, isn't lavish by any stretch of the imagination. The idea of saving for kid's college is quaint and I'd want to, but isn't realistic, unless I want to retire at 100. Kid-rearing in the US is expensive as absolute fuck, and that's not even touching on the fact that there's almost zero chance of raising a semi-sane child, unless I move to a farm in Montana. Look ahead, look astern, idiots and idiot parents in charge, you control so little of how your kid turns out, they might as well be being raised by the village. Of idiots. Your best effort and even money are no guarantee of any kind of sane upbringing unfortunately. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind having a kid - I don't actively want one, but I could get on board of having a child, if I could somehow forget almost everything I know about the world we live in. It sounds bleak because it kind of is. IDK, I really hope I'm wrong and that I'm being overly dramatic, but a casual look around the friends' families paints an unflattering picture of what child-rearing in 21st century northeast US looks like and takes.

The one thing I can't stand though are people who don't admit to just how taxing and not fun much of child-rearing is, and insist on pretending that it's the best thing ever, that's the quickest way to get me to never speak to you again, perhaps only second to people asking me when my kid is coming (like an Amazon delivery drone is just around the corner), not quite comprehending how I can be totally OK doing things in life for my own pleasure, and not for someone else's. It drives people nuts, especially the older generation and friends who already have kids and can no longer afford to go to Greece and Italy for two weeks or whatever. The notion that family line is owed extension, or that life without children is somehow pointless (or, rather, that having a child gives life a purpose?!?) or that parents are owed grandchildren because they're fucking bored? What kind of happy horseshit is that?

It's not that child rearing requires self deception to be happy about it, that's fucking so retarded. You think the cheetah self deceives themselves to be ok about raising a child?

There are sufficient rewards to make it preferable.

Now you could say that there are a lot of people that paint a prettier picture than exists of their home life for social gain, but that's different ain't it.

Life is safer than its its been currently. Don't worry about it, when the sky falls you can worry then.

Poor people have kids all the time, how do they afford it eh?

Had kids for myself but sure, the wider family love it too, they bring joy to my life and theirs as well.

Why do you think it irritates you so much when people ask when you're gonna have a kid? Do you think you might be deceiving yourself and it's the cognitive dissonance that causes you such irritation? Hard to see why a question would illicit such a response from you otherwise.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

Sounds kinda Brokeback Mountainish - or maybe has an Eat Pray Love ring to it (although I don't doubt that that is probably what he had in mind). Should be out hunting squirrels and cougars with those loyal hounds.

I’d say more like the Beach or a movie like that. Backpacking around Thailand and shit doing drugs and fucking European backpacker chicks and/or Thai ladyboy whores (nttatwwt)

 

[Darth_Inv1ctu5]

It's not that child rearing requires self deception to be happy about it, that's fucking so retarded. You think the cheetah self deceives themselves to be ok about raising a child?

Cheetah does not, but cheetah also doesn't have human intelligence and the ability to assess alternatives to specie propagation. Humans have imagination and self-awareness, and with that, the ability to imagine lives that do not involve procreation and all the attendant stress and lifestyle adjustments. If anything here is fucking retarded, it's your comparison of humans to cheetahs.

There are sufficient rewards to make it preferable.

Now you could say that there are a lot of people that paint a prettier picture than exists of their home life for social gain, but that's different ain't it.

Life is safer than its its been currently. Don't worry about it, when the sky falls you can worry then.

Poor people have kids all the time, how do they afford it eh?

"Sufficient rewards" you speak of are neither guaranteed nor are they objectively rewards - they're purely subjective.

Poor people having kids all the time is by no stretch of the imagination an argument in favor of having a child. The quality of life you can afford your child should actually play a role in the decision to have one, that we need to argue about this in 2020 is beyond fucking insane.

Had kids for myself but sure, the wider family love it too, they bring joy to my life and theirs as well.

Why do you think it irritates you so much when people ask when you're gonna have a kid? Do you think you might be deceiving yourself and it's the cognitive dissonance that causes you such irritation? Hard to see why a question would illicit such a response from you

Elicit. Also, I have literally no idea what this whole passage means.

 

[Tuf_guy]

I’d say more like the Beach or a movie like that. Backpacking around Thailand and shit doing drugs and fucking European backpacker chicks and/or Thai ladyboy whores (nttatwwt)

It is one of those stories that leaves a lot open for interpretation.
For me, I see it as about a guy trying to get over heartbreak, so he watches some chick flicks for answers, then he decides he wants to go on an adventure like the girls in the movies.
It definitely could include the Thai ladyboy hookers. I think that part might come out as a plot twist. Maybe he gets rescued from a Thai hooker pimp by a muay thai master.

 

[Philo-Publius]

Do any of you guys have kids and wish you had not?
I dumped a clip in the Mrs. and now shes pregnant, it'll be both of ours 1st kid. We're in our early 30's, she's excited I am too but I'm the type of person who enjoys my free time to do my own thing after work and on the weekends, I've pretty much accepted that a lot of that free time will be gone once the baby is born, and money will also be tight once she takes time off work and we're paying the bills with just my income. I know most people say having kids was the best thing they ever did even though it was very hard but is there anyone out there who regrets having kids and if so why? I know maybe that's something most people won't admit so I figured maybe I'd get some honest responses on this anonymous karate forum. Thanks.

Now the Mrs. really has you by your little wee wee. Enjoy.