Relationship Do you fear or respect your father?

Do you fear or respect your father?

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I shadow realmed my old man at age 8 and made him do my chores growing up. You should ask him.
 
As a child I definitely feared my dad. All my cousins feared my dad, too. There was an undercurrent of "straighten up, or we'll make you move in with Cyrano's dad". But that was unfair. He was quiet and strong. He had rules and we had to obey them. As a kid I thought of that as cruel. But he wasn't. Yes, we were occasionally spanked, but my grandparents used switchs (a willowy, whip like branch) or a belt without that same connotation.
As I grew older, I saw his intelligence and self-discipline. He gave us more than he allowed himself and garnered repect (different from demanded) from other adults. So now I absolutely respect him and when I'm feeling good about myself, I think I emulate him. I, however, am more cuddly with my kids. And he is much cuddlier with his grandkids!
 
Lucas1980 said:
That sucks man...But I'm sure that only made you a better father.
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Nah it’s all good. Many had it worse than I, and I finally got over most of what happened. You better get over shit if youre in your 40s lol.

Just want to always remember, as I did the same exact shit to my sons, as my father did to me. At least at the beginning. Garbage parenting was learned, and it sometimes is hard to do things differently, since we get programmed by our parents behavior at a young age. Both good and bad. He did show me that you can be successful in life even when if you’re not the most talented or intelligent. Just learn how to suffer well.
 
ObsoleteSoul said:
Nah it’s all good. Many had it worse than I, and I finally got over most of what happened. You better get over shit if youre in your 40s lol.

Just want to always remember, as I did the same exact shit to my sons, as my father did to me. At least at the beginning. Garbage parenting was learned, and it sometimes is hard to do things differently, since we get programmed by our parents behavior at a young age. Both good and bad. He did show me that you can be successful in life even when if you’re not the most talented or intelligent. Just learn how to suffer well.
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Yep........Embrace The Suck....laughing.
 
I’ve heard lots of stories from my fathers’ hockey playing days or seeing him hitting a punching bag in the basement but that’s not the side of him I knew. I try my best just to be half the man my father was. He was a super kind, generous man who a lot of people really liked. He was also 6’6 with boxing experience and was one of the meanest hockey players around when you put skates on him.

I never feared him because I never had to. I feared letting him down a lot though. Even though he’s gone, I still do my best to be a man he would have been proud of. Sometimes I feel like a great value version of him lol
 
Lucas1980 said:
Both feared and respected him as a kid and now I just Respect him and strive to be half the man that he was and is.
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This. Having a healthy fear of your dad is a good thing and as you age it is just more and more respect.
 
Reasoning with him is like trying to KO the ocean. Lies within lies wrapped and decorated in a package of lies that are being delivered to the wrong address.
 
My dad came to this country in the 70's as an illegal immigrant(one of them bad hombres) with literally nothing but the dirt in his pockets, he worked hard every day, became a citizen, a land owner, built a reputation as one of the best finish men in his business
Now he lives with his young girlfriend on a big ass ranch in Mexico full of livestock and mango trees and occasionally rich Americans pay for him to fly back over here and do the finishing work on their fancy pants backyard concrete party patios and swimming pools and stuff
I dont have a relationship with him because of various other reasons but I have a lot of respect for that part of him
 
I lost my dad, fairly suddenly, 11 months ago. I respected him tremendously, and he was one of the greatest men I ever knew. He had a very strong moral code and he adhered to it. I am not suggesting he was flawless as he had some weaknesses - like all of us - but overall he made a very large and positive impact on the world. He accomplished a lot, reached big heights in his line of work, he increased the benefits of those in his line of work, he put into practice something that allows for quicker response times for ambulances across our State and also additional medical support for commuters. I don't want to go into detail, but he did a lot in his life. He was a very respected man, a better man than myself, although I try to be a good man as well. I believe he was definitely in the top 5% of men just as an overall quality human being.
 
I was really scared of him when I was a boy. Then when I was about 12 he was beating my mom's ass so I grabbed a baseball bat and told him to stop and he left the house and never set foot inside again.

From then on I knew he was just a bully that would back down when confronted. I wasn't scared of him ever again even though at the time he was like a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than me.
 
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