Divorce thread....

[Phlog]

Is all of this anger since you are from a divorced household? Is this why you chose the glamorous life of fighting for free and bragging about it?

I was thinking it. Glad you said it

 

[CI]

did any of your guy's divorces went well?

my parents want me to marry, but in the current climate i feel is a bad deal for men. I think women see men is a resource.

I came across this book:

http://www.revolucionantifeminista..../06/lawrence-shannon-the-predatory-female.pdf

Apparently women wear masks until marriage. the wedding day is their day of victory.

After reading this thread. it seems like a sad existence.

 

[ToxicShocker]

Man we scared away the tail

 

[TheJewBear]

did any of your guy's divorces went well?

Mine went as well as a divorce could go, given the circumstances. We used mediators, no lawyers. Never set foot in a court room. It was all done over the phone and through the mail. Got a sweet deal on child support and zero alimony. She didn't touch any of my retirement savings.

Towards the end of the divorce she was awarded 100% disability through the veterans administration. This helped tremendously for her financial needs and meant I never had to worry about her hitting me up for money.

Still didn't stop her from calling me when she was on an out of town trip with her boyfriend, asking for early child support. Apparently she couldn't afford the rental car where they went, and her boyfriend didn't have any money either. I told her no, not my problem and she said aight. Dunno what they did for their transportation, but it was a righteous moment.

 

[Moonwalker95]

Biologically speaking, we weren't meant to be in monogamous relationships. We we're meant to spread our seed and procreate. This monogamy shit is a human invention, created by the church.

Okay poly boi

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

The exact moment?

She was washing dishes, I was stripping down to take a shower.
She and I were talking the entire time, eye to eye.

I step into the shower. Immediately, I hear muffled shouting coming from her. I get out dripping and go to see what the problem is.

She was losing her shit because I was using the hot water and she couldn't do dishes with warm water.
I told her the next day I was gone.

 

[loyalyolayal]

So this thread got good we have already covered 4 themes in 3 pages

Divorce
Human biology and marriage
The question of is it smart to get an ammy tag on sherdog
The question of is making 40k posts on a forum a meaningful pursuit in life

Im interested what comes next, this thread is rolling nicely

I'll wait for @Medulla Omoplata to chime in.

 

[minute bull]

There were a LOT of problems. I was miserable. She wouldn't touch me.

But the final straw was returning from a weekend trip to find that she had spent almost $200 on food takeout in 48 hours. Just for herself. At a time when we were struggling with finances, supposed to be on a budget, etc.

She then created a secret Amazon account that was linked to my credit card where she covertly ordered random things for herself and her mom. Makeup, clothes, whatever. All surreptitiously while the credit card bill grew and grew. I was like, man having a family is expensive. But I didn't recall the charges, and my Amazon account didn't reflect it. So I called Amazon customer service and they told me there was a second account that I didn't know about. That about did it.

I just want you to know "surreptitiously" is a wonderful word and good on you for using it in this day and age.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

I was thinking about getting a Divorce about two years ago. Wife got older and insecure and basically became an insecure, possessive nut job. My wife got her shit together thank God and she's back to being human again. We're actually doing pretty well now, which I thought would never happen again.

So I guess my advice is to hang in there if you can and try and get her some help if she needs it. Mainly, keep your side of the street clean and see if it works itself out. I'm glad I didn't jump. She's a good woman, even with all of her weirdnesses and it would've been devastating for our kids.

 

[Brandon Wilson]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/positive-prescription/201602/the-science-monogamy

https://bigthink.com/philip-perry/scientists-suspect-genetic-underpinnings-to-human-monogamy

http://healthland.time.com/2013/07/30/the-reason-for-monogamy-researchers-disagree/



Some of these points are interesting.

One of the authors stated what I assumed: monogamy helps protect the offspring. However, as the youtube clip shows, as humans began to settle down into one area, we became monogamous to ward off STDs. I hadn't thought of that.

I assume from those articles that you're agreeing with me that we're not programmed for monogamy?

First article you posted said as much.


Second one said that mice might be programmed for monogamy.

At the end of the third article, one of the researchers is quoted as saying: "I'm far from convinced that humans are monogamous"

 

[Fk your feelings]

As a 20 year old I don’t see the benefits of marriage. I could never allow a woman to “own” me.


Sucks to be a lot of these idiots that go through nasty divorces 1, 2, even 3 times and then go ahead and remarry again.

And another thing is why you would buy a house together. You do realize she will take it all right? And those who don’t sign a prenup and think “nah she’s not that type of woman” makes me chuckle. If you own your own home and you have a girlfriend or wife and created a proper prenup, and she’s living with you - when you are sick of her and tired of her shit you can boot her out. It’s your house, not hers. Every girlfriend I’ve had that moved in with me, once I wanted them gone there wasn’t any issues. They had to leave, she’s not the owner; I am and I only. Don’t think it’s selfish to want to put your own life first before destroying it and feeling guilty. There’s no need to feel guilty.

I’ve heard 3 guys I know who were much older than me say “she’s not that type of girl” then divorce happens, she takes everything and leaves him in destitute.

Don’t be stupid. Don’t do it.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

I hope I never have to post a story in this thread...

 

[sleepwalk]

My wife makes the exact same as I do (and, for the first few years we were together, more.) We also make a pretty tidy sum. I'll be fine financially if we split. My parents live next door so, if she goes shit snack crazy and I gotta bring in the lethal lawyers (I know more and better ones than she does,) I'll be okay with the kids. Shitty part would be losing my best friend but, if we got to that point, I'd say that we wouldn't be friends by that point anymore.

 

[TheJewBear]

As a 20 year old I don’t see the benefits of marriage. I could never allow a woman to “own” me.


Sucks to be a lot of these idiots that go through nasty divorces 1, 2, even 3 times and then go ahead and remarry again.

And another thing is why you would buy a house together. You do realize she will take it all right? And those who don’t sign a prenup and think “nah she’s not that type of woman” makes me chuckle. If you own your own home and you have a girlfriend or wife and created a proper prenup, and she’s living with you - when you are sick of her and tired of her shit you can boot her out. It’s your house, not hers. Every girlfriend I’ve had that moved in with me, once I wanted them gone there wasn’t any issues. They had to leave, she’s not the owner; I am and I only. Don’t think it’s selfish to want to put your own life first before destroying it and feeling guilty. There’s no need to feel guilty.

Bro you're 20 years old, how many fucking girlfriends have you had move in with you?

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

She hates chip you can see it
Fifty bucks she’s fucking one of the helpers while telling chip to help him open it up

Lol there's no way. She does that "I pretend I'm annoyed but I actually like it" thing that women do.

Now that Christina El Moussa chick did exactly what you were saying.

 

[Fk your feelings]

Bro you're 20 years old, how many fucking girlfriends have you had move in with you?

I moved out a month before I turned 15. In over 5 years I’ve had 8 girlfriends move in, and 8 that eventually moved out when I was tired of them. But only 6 were “serious” girlfriends. The other 2 just stayed for longer than a week; I consider that “moving in”.

 

[minute bull]

This was so powerful, I'm quoting it from a different thread:

This.

Most people go in relationships with the idea that the other person is going to make you happy, at the beginning of the relationship that could be the case, but eventually you go back to being who you were before.

The idea in life is to create a lifestyle that makes you happy and then meeting someone else with a similar mindset who is happy on its own.

Remember I'll take care of me for you, and you'll take care of you, for me.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.

Oftentimes we mistake activity for achievement, or even worse we think that it's right to suffer and therefore our struggles must mean something good, not wasted. To willingly suffer is a product of love, but suffering is not love itself; suffering should not beguile you into thinking one day your pain will be someday worth it. It requires strength; it is not strength. Life is not a test. There are no practice runs.

Divorce is when you've given up on your own voice. When you give the other person everything in the relationship there is none left for you, and Expectation will only worsen that sentiment.

The question becomes, then, is unhappiness therefore the (current) goal? Or in perhaps more palatable terms: Do we feel we deserve to feel this way?

Your life will be the answer to that question, but I can tell you now that no one deserves to be unhappy. That's not the same thing as deserving punishment; yes, people absolutely "deserve" consequences. But unhappiness? That's a horrid mentality to have for yourself, unless it's a honest and clear motivation that leads to real improvement. Excepting actual progress, unhappiness is for basement dwellers.

"Deserve's" got nothing to do with anything.

 

[BEER]

I've never been married and recognize that it's more complicated than a simple break up and involved more love and affection than I've likely ever felt.

That said, I always just sort of knew when a relationship was over. Like a gut feeling. Sometimes I'd try to keep it alive as long as possible, but every single time I've gotten that feeling, it never went away. Whether I dumped them or vice versa, once you really FEEL that, it's probably over. No matter how much you love them and want to make it work, it's over.

 

[Satsui Ryu]

Then explain why two parent households statistically produce more successful and psychologically healthy children.

Well for a very long time you had the whole tribe work to take care of children. The setup where you live around a very large group with little to no ties to those people, but very close bonds to very few people is very new. It used to be the opposite when we were tribal. Farming and labor specialization caused the change. Now monogamy is ideal for modern society for a lot of reasons and that is why we do it, but it does go against a lot of our primal nature and is more geared towards humans' ability for higher level thought.

 

[ultimateriley-o]

She's worse in a way. She learned her lesson about getting physical with me when I physically overpowered who once but now she's quick to call the cops and play the race card. She took my dog to a pound and dropped her off. Cleaned out my bank accounts and took the car. She's a nightmare.

When I read shit like this, and you’re still with this person, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with you that you stay. I know what’s wrong with her, but what the fuck do you stick around for ? What’s your damage ?