Dating someone with vastly different political views?

[Jack&Cat]

She is supporting those causes because being a good person is important to her and rightly or wrongly she sees that as a part of being a good person.

How throughly thought out are your views? Do you even really give a shit about politics?

Sounds like you have the chance to date a decent girl who isn’t an idiot and has an abundance of concern for others in her heart. Personally I think she should dump you.

Good god. Do you read minds?

This is practically verbatim what I just went to post...

 

[Aegon Spengler]

Good god. Do you read minds?

This is practically verbatim what I just went to post...

 

[Chesten_Hesten]

I could never date someone who used the words beta and alpha in 3 sentences/

How about 2?

 

[SteveColdStone]

I’m in a similar boat to you. I like this girl but she’s very left leaning (I’m somewhere in the middle) and is all about social justice and boundaries and sometimes I wonder if we’d be a good fit. She will post articles on her IG story about certain issues and that kind of thing is something I personally wouldn’t do. I care about certain social issues but I mostly just care about getting my life together at this point.

I think she’s a person who does genuinely care about certain issues but I can tell she’s been influenced a little bit too much by the internet and perhaps propaganda during education. She doesn’t agree with the defund the police stuff and she seems to respect the fact that I have my own viewpoints. We’re not really that different; she just gets worked up over things that don’t really bother me in the grand scheme of things. She is a POC and we have very different backgrounds so I understand that we may have different perspectives sometimes. She seems to have a bit of an issue with white people sometimes and she does talk about white privilege and that’s not something I want to hear about when I grew up worse than her and sleep on a floor. I do understand her points though. She does seem to somewhat hate men and sometimes says bad things about this country, but I can understand her reasons. She also runs an IG page with a friend that’s centred around a certain region in the world and things can get political. I have never actually read the page though. I prefer to stay out of it as it’s her thing.

As long as you can both respect each other’s viewpoints it can work. It helps if your beliefs are not vastly different though. I have no idea if it could work in my case. I would say that it probably could but she isn’t the ideal match for me in a political sense. Ideally I’d like a woman who cares about things that are closer to my heart and is a person who looks to see things from both sides like I do. I’d prefer a woman who doesn’t often get worked up over politics.

 

[whippersnapper]

I’m in a similar boat to you. I like this girl but she’s very left leaning and is all about social justice and boundaries and sometimes I wonder if we’d be a good fit. She will post articles on her IG story about certain issues and that kind of thing is something I personally wouldn’t do.

I think she’s a person who does genuinely care about certain issues but I can tell she’s been influenced a little bit too much by the internet and perhaps propaganda during education. She doesn’t agree with the defund the police stuff and she seems to respect the fact that I have my own viewpoints. We’re not really that different; she just gets worked up about things that don’t really bother me in the grand scheme of things. She is a POC and we have very different backgrounds so I understand that we may have different perspectives sometimes. She seems to have a bit of an issue

You do not want to marry a girl that believes she is a victim because of her skin color.

 

[dim_]

I've been going out with this girl a for about a month or so, known her for much longer though. I feel like we click, we have similar personalities and senses of humor. She also seems really genuine.

The only problem is, she is one of those people who constantly posts and talks about BLM and defund the police and the like. I am not one to rub my political views in people's faces, but I am conservative and I disagree with her on very many of her views.

What would you do ? Just trying to get some opinions on this.

Different viewpoints in a relationship are fine, but when its something as fundamental as feelings towards institutionalised racism etc, it simply is not going to work.

 

[dim_]

She is supporting those causes because being a good person is important to her and rightly or wrongly she sees that as a part of being a good person.

Agree

Personally I think she should dump you.

Also agree, but I was trying to put it more politely.

 

[Nada.]

She is supporting those causes because being a good person is important to her and rightly or wrongly she sees that as a part of being a good person.

How throughly thought out are your views? Do you even really give a shit about politics?

Sounds like you have the chance to date a decent girl who isn’t an idiot and has an abundance of concern for others in her heart. Personally I think she should dump you.

This

 

[judoka loca]

it's normal for couples to have differences. but if they're so different to where it bothers you and you create a thread about it, then you should maybe rethink the relationship. i've found that ones political views, also affects their personality and general judgement decisions. if your girl is going to constantly annoy you with her views, then break it off.

why go into a relationship with something already amiss, when you can find someone with not as many issues for you.

Well, I also just figured it would be an interesting thread.

 

[Brother Numsi]

I think you can date someone with different political views as long as they really like you and you're not a complete douche of a person

 

[SteveColdStone]

You do not want to marry a girl that believes she is a victim because of her skin color.

Yeah it’s a tricky one. I like her and sometimes the thought of us seems right, but sometimes I think it would be better to just be friends. I’m hoping that she mellows out a little bit in time.

 

[Err]

Initiate a polite and respectful conversation about hers/your beliefs. Don’t allow your emotions to dictate it, and pay very close attention to how she handles hers. See if there’s any commonality between both of your world views. If she is unwilling to have this conversation, or becomes frantic, emotional or angry during your talk, then it’s unlikely that any type of relationship will last. If you can both behave respectfully and with tact then give it a shot.

 

[J0N0]

So long as you can discuss things in a good natured way without falling-out about it, or her getting upset then it's fine. If not, then obviously that'll cause issues.

 

[judoka loca]

She is supporting those causes because being a good person is important to her and rightly or wrongly she sees that as a part of being a good person.

How throughly thought out are your views? Do you even really give a shit about politics?

Sounds like you have the chance to date a decent girl who isn’t an idiot and has an abundance of concern for others in her heart. Personally I think she should dump you.

I never said which of her opinions I disagree with, and I consider myself to be a good listener. No, I haven't completely thought out my views or done a whole lot of research in politics, it wasn't a huge concern of mine, to be honest. But I'm not opposed to doing it or even sitting down with her and having her explain some stuff. My main concern was this dividing us right off the bat.

I am all ears when she, or anyone else, talks. I was just wondering to what extent y'all think someone's political views matter in a relationship.

 

[whippersnapper]

Yeah it’s a tricky one. I like her and sometimes the thought of us seems right, but sometimes I think it would be better to just be friends. I’m hoping that she mellows out a little bit in time.

I wouldn't count on it. Some of these people have been taught social justice/systemic racism since they were in elementary school. When they are engrained from youth with beliefs that they are victims because of their skin color, you won't change them.

It's so strong in some of them like BLM, that they actually feel they are righteous in going around tearing stuff up in their city. Not saying your girl would go that far, but look at this movement. If she believes it all, I'd leave. Or else you may be asked to apologize for your "privilege." That's a marriage killer that will surface someday.

 

[IIIIIIII]

Well, I also just figured it would be an interesting thread.

fair enough. didn't mean to make this such a serious thing haha. do whatever feels right to you. just giving my two cents.

 

[judoka loca]

Initiate a polite and respectful conversation about hers/your beliefs. Don’t allow your emotions to dictate it, and pay very close attention to how she handles hers. See if there’s any commonality between both of your world views. If she is unwilling to have this conversation, or becomes frantic, emotional or angry during your talk, then it’s unlikely that any type of relationship will last. If you can both behave respectfully and with tact then give it a shot.

This was exactly what I was thinking about doing.
Alternatively, I could change the topic every time politics gets brought up, lol

 

[DrDune]

It has less to do with differing views and more to do with how tolerant she'd be of views that don't align with hers. More often than not with the very outspoken (as you claim her to be), that's the issue. "She's concerned with being a good person", and I'm sure she's a great person if you view things the way she does.

You should politely give your side of things, and bring statistics instead of emotion, and see how she reacts. Put her "concerned with being a good person" to the test, and let us know how that plays out.

 

[minute bull]

 

[drstrangelov]

When I was single, I never let politics get in the way of getting laid. I remember going to protests in college just to connect with a girl I was interested in dating.

Long term, I’d have a bigger problem with people who spend too much time openly discussing who or what they hate politically. That kind of negativity wouldn’t work for me. Thankfully, my wife is a pragmatist, keeps her from getting emotional about politics.