Related, I was on a date with a much younger girl recently and she brought up how the cops had been called to her apartment building for domestic violence disturbances.
Somehow from there we began talking about violence against women, and I brought up Gavin DeBecker's book The Gift of Fear. DeBecker posits that female victims of rape and assault often are unable to be "rude" enough to stop their attackers from slowly intruding upon their personal space. IE, he recounts a victim's testimony of how, against her better judgement, she let her future rapist into her apartment incrementally. First she let him help her with her groceries, then she let him into her apartment. The entire time she had a sick feeling in her stomach and was scared of the guy, but didn't act upon her fear. The idea is that women in western society are conditioned to be agreeable, friendly and accomodating, in general, but that a would-be victim should listen to her gut instincts and NOT let a man who is scaring you, into your apartment.
My date argued with me a bit about how to her, it doesn't matter if a victim says no or not, the predator will just come back later.
I countered by saying that research shows that most predators look for weak victims, not necessarily specific victims. That's why elderly women and children are often their targets, and not strong-appearing people.
She made an excuse to end the date early.
The next day, over text, she called me a disgusting mysoginist who has an ideology of victim-blaming. She said that she "shouldn't have to be a bitch to not get raped. Men should just learn not to rape people."
I linked her to deBecker's work, citations, sources etc and she told me I was clearly trying to justify raping women.
She ended the convo by telling me to never fucking text her again.
So my point is, bitches be crazy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_Fear
