Dating and being dishonest about intentions

[YellowBanenoo]

“My girlfriend passed away a few weeks ago and I've started dating in the last week.”

Stopped reading here. The grief is deep in this one.

Grief ? More like horniness.

And speaking of horniness, can I get your wife's number, sir ?

 

[tonysmasseuse]

I could accept the criticism based on the fact that I lie, but I don't think that sexual promiscuity in and of itself is the character defect you're suggesting. Lots of great men throughout history had sex with multiple women. They just probably didn't have to lie to them though.

I don't know man - i've never met a promiscuous person who wasn't superficial in many other ways besides the sexual aspect. Superficial = boring, unattractive, unsubstantial, no real passion etc (imo).

And habitual lying is definitely something that takes a toll on a person's character, especially in the long term. The only people who can easily lie are those that practice it often and/or have no conscience. Imo, it's a good sign, that you are not comfortable with lying and deceiving other people.

Anyway, best of luck.

 

[mmaelitefan000]

mind games. girls are masters at it and we men must be better. lying during the first stages of talking isn't really lying, it's called game depending what u want out of it.

 

[SmilinDesperado]

When the OP is originally callous what do you expect the reply to be? The guy is lying and fucking his way though a bunch of women.. a week after a supposed love of his life died pretty much suddenly.

Your talking about callous... ?

He is 100% wrong for lying to chicks and leading them on. But he made a thread asking about the morality of it, he didn't come in here to brag.
Most people in here told him it was a shit thing to do, and the guy said he agreed and would stop lying.
What else do you want him to do after admitting he was wrong and saying he wont' continue down that path?

As far as sleeping with another woman goes after a recent death...look, I have never been in that situation, and I would guess that most in this thread haven't either. There are certainly better AND worse ways of dealing with grief. And it would be much more troubling if OP immediately got into a new relationship.
Casual sex is defintiely not something I would recommend--but it doesn't mean you didn't care about the deceased. I can have sex with a person and not care about them--it can be completely for just physical pleasure--or it could be used as a way to feel some sort of intimacy after a lover dies.
Again, not an emotionally healthy thing to do, imo. But it isn't the heartless act that some of you are making it out to be either

 

[Judoka1532]

Exactly........by finding a new one of course.

So basically you're saying he should wait longer before dating/humping another girl? I mean I kind of think so too, but if he truly is having a hard time with the death of her at least he cared about her, so I can't judge not knowing him personally. I can only take his word for it. There are men out there very capable of giving 2 shits about the death of a "close" person next to them.

I'd def wait several months before I started, or I know for sure I wouldn't let my family or her family know I was seeing other girls that soon.

Here's the problem though, I've never lost a close relative or friend. I know one day I will and only then will I know how I will respond/think. If it's my wife, her and I have discussed that we would be ok with dating other people, but it would need to be many months after one of us passed, and something kept relatively secret out of respect to one another and our family.

 

[Nimrod]

He is 100% wrong for lying to chicks and leading them on. But he made a thread asking about the morality of it, he didn't come in here to brag.
Most people in here told him it was a shit thing to do, and the guy said he agreed and would stop lying.
What else do you want him to do after admitting he was wrong and saying he wont' continue down that path?

As far as sleeping with another woman goes after a recent death...look, I have never been in that situation, and I would guess that most in this thread haven't either. There are certainly better AND worse ways of dealing with grief. And it would be much more troubling if OP immediately got into a new relationship.
Casual sex is defintiely not something I would recommend--but it doesn't mean you didn't care about the deceased. I can have sex with a person and not care about them--it can be completely for just physical pleasure--or it could be used as a way to feel some sort of intimacy after a lover dies.
Again, not an emotionally healthy thing to do, imo. But it isn't the heartless act that some of you are making it out to be either

I don't want him to do anything..

I'm not here to tell people what to do, I'm here offer my opinion.

From what I have read in previous threads etc ., my opinion is that TS is not a good person. You can defend him all you want, but my opinion still stands, and no amount of pandering will change that, or change the fact that TS seems to be completely disingenuous, dishonest and totally callous towards others.

 

[elreece]

Hang on didnt you cheat on your last g/f?

I swear there was a thread about you wanting to bang some chick behind your g/f's back.

 

[koolinkunming]

Grief ? More like horniness.

And speaking of horniness, can I get your wife's number, sir ?

Wow, you’re persistent. Still no.

 

[That209]

“My girlfriend passed away a few weeks ago and I've started dating in the last week.”

Stopped reading here. The grief is deep in this one.

TS probably got rid of h.. shouldn’t say it.

 

[That209]

You should delete your post. It's disrespectful to her memory.

And rebounding with as much pussy as possible immediately after isn’t?

 

[Nimrod]

I don't think I'm a good person. I can be pretty selfish. That said, are you a good person? What do you do in your life that everyone should consider you to be a good person?

Plenty of stuff..

I certainly dont go around fucking and lying to chicks a week after a supposed loved one has bit the dust..

So anything is good compared to that..

 

[Nimrod]

The way you use meanless sex is crass ..dont you get that?

 

[Nimrod]

So you can't list anything, just things that you don't do. A rock has never done that either. Does that make it a good rock?

I acknowledged that I'm wrong for lying, but the timeline is irrelevant. It's meaningless sex. You still can't provide a reason for why it's wrong without referring to her death or sex in a crass, flippant way.

The way we act in this world are our beliefs and morals .. We act them out ..

What you have been doing is disgusting..

This isnt about me . its about you and your actions.

 

[Nimrod]

Most people have done things they aren't proud of. Lying about being ready to be in a relationship isn't something I'm proud of. Having sex with other women has no effect on my girlfriend or her family because they don't know. I don't claim to be a good person but for you to make the judgement says that you must be coming from a morally superior position which is why I asked what you do that makes you good. I have things I'm proud of and things I'm not but I don't think anyone can truly judge a person but God.

Im judging you from the actions you have written about in your posts..

You go online and hang your dirty laundry out for all to see and comment on.. And then you get defensive trying to counter attack..

You also try to absolve your abhorrent behaviour by making an empty confession of guilt..

What is it you actually want from this ? Are you looking for attention? Because if you are you certainly have it.

 

[Nimrod]

Your wrong people can truly judge others.. Im judging you right now.

 

[That209]

No, it's not. None of her friends or family knows and it's meaningless. You suggesting that I murdered her isn't right and I don't appreciate it. Her death is not material for you to mock.

None of her friends and family know what?

 

[Nimrod]

I don't want anything but talking to people which is why everyone visits sherdog. I think you made a poor argument. I didn't do anything to dishonor her memory but you did. I'm anonymous so it doesn't matter if I have sex with women. Her friends and family don't know what I do in my time off. All they know is that I am going to support her daughter. You also don't know whether my admission is empty or not. I think all of your accusations and self righteous grand standing reveal more about you and your feelings of inadequacy and guilt than it does about me. I've never met anyone who is perfect when you dig deep enough. If you say you're a good person though, fine.

You are full of shit mate..

Projecting your bullshit actions onto me ... Passive agressive wank shite..

Dishonoring your girl friend ? You have proven you are not honourable in any.. You honoured your girl friend by fucking strangers? ! Thats honourable?

Really bro..

 

[Nimrod]

What I do in my personal life. Do you think it's really funny to make light of her death?

Fuck you man.. You made light of her death by fucking strangers not 2 minutes after she was cold.. Fuck you man .. You fucking make me sick

 

[Nimrod]

Fuck yourself wanker. I couldn't eat for 2 days. Then I ate a lot and hit the gym and decided I could continue dwelling on it and feeling depressed or try to distract myself. I was horny so I took care of it. Fuck you and your self righteous standard for proper grieving process.

It didn't work either because I still miss her. It doesn't matter what you think. I'm not a good person but I will still support her daughter financially and the money will spend the same regardless of what I do in my personal life.

Yeah whatever man... the fucking bullshit just keeps on coming..

 

[Curmudgeon]

You don't know if what I say is bullshit or not.

You're a self admitted liar, so...