dating a girl who has kids

[xANDREWPx]

I met my wife when I was 22 and she had two little girls at the time. I was never big into partying or anything so settling down was not a big deal.

We now have a child together as well and are a very happy family of 5.

 

[SoberAwakening]

It was tough when I did it. I was connecting well with this chick's son. He had no father figure, so he looked up to me and we bonded. I taught him about manners, respect, and just genuinely cared. We'd toss the pigskin around and talk about his day at school.

Breaking up with that girl was tough for one reason only...the kid. She was cool enough to let me say goodbye...that day was ridiculously tough.

 

[SherdogGoat]

I have dated single moms but not for a long time, mostly just to bang. I don't see myself marrying one but you never know. I don't have an interest in having my own kid let alone take care of somebody else's.

 

[SpaceCommissar]

I am currently in a relationship with a woman with two kids from an earlier relationship. I have two of my own as well. Things work out well for all of us.

Thing is: when you have children you understand that it's a big step to introduce new people to them. So, if you are dating someone with children, don't meet the kids if you aren't sure that it's going to last. That you love her enough to go through what it takes to be a parent. Because it would be cruel to every party involved if you met them and then bailed out.

Now, to my relationship: yeah, things work really great. Her kids have taken to me quite well, and they seem to like me, and I like them too. I haven't met their father yet, but from my girlfriend's description he seems cool with me and has taken the kids at times so we can get some alone time. They share the kids 50%, they change every week. That's becoming the norm here in Sweden, and if it wasn't for the fact that I live too far away from my kids school, I'd do it like that as well. I take them every friday to monday though, and while it means that me and my girlfriend will have to be flexible in how we see eachother, it's worth it. It's love.

Usually though I stay at her place in the weekdays, because of several reasons: she lives in the city where I work, she lives maybe 2-300 meters from my kids school, and of course, I like it here better than being alone at home. Really, it's come to a point where I use my own home just spend time with my kids, and very little more.

So my tip and opinion to you is: there's nothing wrong with seeing a woman with children. But if you aren't sure about it, don't do it, there's additional work, there will be awkward situations and you will probably need to be very flexible and it will take more work and dedication from you than it would otherwise. If you don't mind her having children, then go for it.

Just know that having children is neither the utopia some family sitcoms will have you believe, nor is it the nightmare that some people will make it out to be. They're just people in smaller size.

I was raised by another man than my father, and it just so happened that I started seeing him as my father, rather than my biological one.

 

[Merlotte's]

I'm good.

 

[lsa]

i don't really like children, so no. Im 22, so id avoid anyone who has kids like a plague if i were dating. I feel like id be one of those parents who would love my own kids but hates everyone elses

Dude. You ARE a child

 

[LeSwas]

Met my wife when I was 24 and she had a beautiful 4 yr old daughter. Married 7 years and have an amazing 7 year old son and the daughter is an outstanding, chilled out 16 year old young lady excelling at life.

 

[cartizel]

depends how you and how many.

But my rule of thumb is to steer well clear.

 

[livingdeadmoose]

Don't do it! Unless you already have kids from a previous relationship/marriage, what self respecting man would do this to themselves?

 

[Big Tuppy Hole]

My partners son was 3 when we hooked (he's 13 now) and honestly I enjoyed helping bring him up, he might not be my blood but I've treated him as if he is. If your not willing to he a role model to the child there's no point being with the mother

 

[DM1982]

If you're a child-molester, it's an absolute must!

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

just curious what sherdog's thoughts are on getting into a relationship with a girl who has kids and potentially settling down with her?

Ive dated a girl who had kids and im not gonna lie, it had some major drawbacks. The one saving grace was that the father kept them every other weekend and since we only saw each other on weekends it allowed for me to have half my time with her alone.

Also, maybe its just me being insecure, but I would feel like a chump if I settled down with a girl who had kids and the father wasn't around and wasn't providing financial assistance and now I come in and raise another mans kids. Its a must for me to even consider dating a girl with kids that the father has to be around a bit to help watch them and provide financial assistance. Its not even just about the time or money, just the principle of the matter for me.

Why would you feel like a chump? Making the commitment to raise a fatherless kid, says a lot about your character. Make no mistake, you better be ready to be a father if you decided to pursue a relationship with a woman with a kid. It's not something to take lightly.

I have 4 kids - the eldest is my stepdaughter and is now 18. She was 5 when I became her dad. It never crossed my mind that I would be considered beta for taking on the responsibility because I knew I was going to have more kids regardless. She is just another one of my kids who I love and care for.

 

[Matt M]

I'm not sure I could do it. It'd be such a pain in the ass, especially if they were horrible annoying kids.

 

[DM1982]

I'm not sure I could do it. It'd be such a pain in the ass, especially if they were horrible annoying kids.

You Liked my post?

You sick fuck!

; )

 

[Matt M]

You Liked my post?

You sick fuck!

; )

I was gonna say when I was on a dating site the vast majority of girls who messaged me were single mums, so if I was a predatory paedophile I could have had a field day.

 

[DM1982]

I was gonna say when I was on a dating site the vast majority of girls who messaged me were single mums, so if I was a predatory paedophile I could have had a field day.

Hey, some of their kids are really hot!

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

Ok cintauro v.2.0, time to reign in it.