just curious what sherdog's thoughts are on getting into a relationship with a girl who has kids and potentially settling down with her?
Ive dated a girl who had kids and im not gonna lie, it had some major drawbacks. The one saving grace was that the father kept them every other weekend and since we only saw each other on weekends it allowed for me to have half my time with her alone.
Also, maybe its just me being insecure, but I would feel like a chump if I settled down with a girl who had kids and the father wasn't around and wasn't providing financial assistance and now I come in and raise another mans kids. Its a must for me to even consider dating a girl with kids that the father has to be around a bit to help watch them and provide financial assistance. Its not even just about the time or money, just the principle of the matter for me.
In the past I thought only a chump would date a single mother, but I guess I've matured. If the chick is good and you have fun with her it seems like a silly reason to not to explore it. I've never done it, but a buddy I play baseball with in his late 20s is dating a chick with a 6 year old boy (she has full custody), and it's working out fine for him. He's been with her for like 3 years now.
Couple things to be aware of, the kid will always come first to her. There will be cancelled dates, times when the kid comes with you, and lots of in-house dates because baby sitters can get expensive. In my buddies case the girls mother (kids grandma) wanted them to go out all all the dates in the world, because it meant she got the kid for the evening and loved it, so that helped their situation. If you're getting a sitter you can offer to help pay (or don't let her pay for anything on the dates), but she might see that as trying to take care of the kid for her because she can't (and that's a feeling no single mother wants), or that you expect something (sex) in return for covering the sitter.
My buddy made due and didn't intrude too much in the kids life at first, but now he will play basketball, baseball/catch and ball hockey with him, taken him to a few hockey games, takes him to the arcade, mini-put, etc, and is spending more and more time with him. Since the kid is 6 he's right at that age where he wants to learn every sport under the sun, and my buddy is actually really good with him. Funny thing was I never took him to be good with kids because most his life he was a huge stoner until recently, but the kid has really taken him in and it's also brought my buddy and his girlfriend a lot closer.
