What's the dumbest thing you ever thought?

[Yunes]

So... A girl peed on you in 8th grade? Fuck, you must be into some really freaky, awful shit by now if that's how you started.

You never piss raced when you were a kid?

 

[AshiharaFan]

Lmao, this reminds me of when my friend and I thought if we put crazy glue on our hands we could climb walls. We were in my basement watching spiderman with a tube of crazy glue literally seconds away from squirting it all over our hands when my mom came down and stopped us.

Oh man, so much wasted potential. If only your mom was at least 20 minutes late coming down into the basement your story would have a much more entertaining ending.

 

[Nameless Ghoul]

College is the way to go. lol It's going good now finally, I have a brother though who is 4 years younger and made connections in High School. He landed a $40,000 a year job loading trucks at a distribution center, lived at home 2 more years and by the time I was starting my Masters work he was buying a house.

Boy did I mess up somewhere

 

[Curmudgeon]

Two things, and one is laughably dumb.

1. I thought cartoon physics held some validity, and that for example you could simply step off a falling elevator onto a platform and not be killed by the fall, there would be no transfer of momentum.

2. My ma smoked cigarettes.
But I started to notice that when I was done taking a dump, there'd be a cig floating in there with my log.
I must've been four or five, but I thought for sure they must be coming from me. I didn't know how, but it was the only explanation I could think of.

Gives a new meaning to the term "shit ends"(hand rolled cigs). On a similar theme around 3-4ish, I was convinced you only had a limited number of "Poops". I imagined it to be like a vending machine internally(my only frame of reference at the time), and once you were done, that's it, they were all gone. Couple this with the thought of catching heck from the folks for squandering something, and hearing that if you don't shit, you die(probably older brother/cousins), created some interesting situations until learning about what's what.

 

[Bacco]

I thought everyone could read my mind and new all my secretes.

We did

 

[ROKKO]

I thought girls pee and have babies from the same hole. I was corrected around 26 years old. I just never really looked into the plumbing of that area. I don't look into the details I just had the gist of it.

When I was 11 years old we moved from Long Island to Arizona and I was convinced that it would be saloons and dirt roads and everybody rode horses and that I would stop going to school. I had no idea it was like a regular place. That was like 1992.

About 4 years ago I found out that it was never Berenstein Bears and it was always Berenstain Bears. I would have fought to the death that it was Berenstein Bears.

 

[FierceRedBelt]

We did

I'm sorry. Bro.

 

[MadSquabbles500]

When I in HS my dream was to become super rich, and then afford a harem of like 50-60 hawt women. I held onto that dream until very recently. I have been trying to achieve to absolutely no avail, and I have not even been able to get off the ground with it. It seems I have wasted my prime years on this dream. I am only now starting to realize how foolish this is, and I need to move on.

 

[Jon Stark]

That Art Deco was an actual architect, artist and not a style/design. I'm 35 and thought this until I was 30.

 

[Jon Stark]

That god existed.

That there was an afterlife.

That my existence mattered beyond my own consciousness.

That if I was a good person, good things would happen to me.

All of what you said might be true. You don't know for sure albeit that last point is hard to prove.

 

[USA!USA!]

All of what you said might be true. You don't know for sure albeit that last point is hard to prove.

Very true, I was just going through a nihilst phase this afternoon.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

The dogs were the guys and the cats the girls

 

[Bacco]

If i must remember Bacco's childhood top 10 facts, all gems born around my 6th to 8th year of life i i remember right:

1- I will become the Martial Arts World Champion, defeating fighters like Mike Tyson and VanDamme.
I was a Tyson fan and liked watch his fights with my dad, but at same time i was legit worried about his power (as at some point i had to fight him in future, inevitable)

2- Girls (adult ones 20yo) got the pussy hole to fuck them oriented forward (like a keyhole).
This was common knowledge but at same time a secret that only us cool kids, the not cool ones were treated as douchebags for not knowing that

3- I will marry the cute blond azure eyes girl of my class* who in future will look like Claudia Schiffer and if we will have male sons they can become world champion fighters too after me.
Had to punch the equador kid who said to love her, can't speak like that of my wife. She liked i punched him

4- Vampires are probably not real (like very very low chance they exist), but i prefer one does'nt kill me horribly biting my throat while i sleep.
When a tv documentary clearly said Dracula existed has not been a good news. Most of my anti-vampire defense was based on them likely not existing.

5- Nobody can punch Luca the sicilian kid because he's in the mafia (he said it), if you punch him his father will kill you and your entire family with his gun.
You can push him, but that was like the smart limit where stop.
But me and Luca were friends so my entire family was'nt in real danger.
Also hope was that if his dad missed mine with the gun shot, my father will have killed his with punches because he was twice as big. Even Luca had to agree this was possible, i remember we was playing soccer when we considered this.

6- Speaking of above, forgot to say my father was the current strongest man of the world, who for some reason prefered being a butcher as job instead the martial arts world champion**

7- Nobody really know how the TV work, like the pics inside it.
Don't say it's magic (magic does'nt exist) but it's like a science top secret of americans.
Adults explanations sound like bullshit to cover they don't know either. Because nobody know outside americans.

8- Police can arrest you if they want or they think you done something. Like they can just grab you (7/8yo) and send you to prison for years/life
So when they smile and talk to you you should not respond because it's a trap to make you say something wrong.
Mom and dad say is'nt true, but they don't know these things we badass kids know

9- At 7/8 i and Fabio smoked a cigarette of took from his big brother room, my aunt caught us and told us we "probably" got cancer. But maybe not.
But SURELY we will have got cancer if we smoked a second time before be 30yo.
A week after i was alive, so no cancer, good.
But i did'nt smoked a second time

10- Americans rock songs are the coolest of all even if are words without sense, like if you listen them they make no sense.
Count that americans in movies speak italian, so the english is essentially a language that nobody understand.
Alternative theory was that americans understand each other with that language of songs and use it to tell each other tops secrets

11- french are ALL gay


*we actually fucked and stay together for few weeks 11 years later, when we was 17yo. Became cute but no signs of her becoming like Claudia Schiffer though.
Caught me sms some big tits girl and left me.
(We had no world champion fighters sons together, but was'nt a plan anymore)

** in my defense back then my dad was a 115kg italian Cain Velasquez butcher and when i was at his workplace handled pieces of cow heavy as him like nothing, had gigantic butcher knives and got blood on him.
I mean, Marco claimed HIS dad was the strongest of the world and his dad was a bitch.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Giants lived on earth
The earth is flat
Nephilim control my computer
Dinosaur bones were planted there by con artists
Mountains are really giant trees
The sun revolves around the earth


-RIPSKATER

 

[45ACP]

Oh man, so much wasted potential. If only your mom was at least 20 minutes coming down into the basement your story would have a much more entertaining ending.

lmao I actually never thought about that. Thank God lol.

"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM, help I'm stuck........"

 

[45ACP]

Giants lived on earth
The earth is flat
Nephilim control my computer
Dinosaur bones were planted there by con artists
Mountains are really giant trees
The sun revolves around the earth


-RIPSKATER

first of all, u asshole.

Poor guy isn't even here to stick up for himself.

second,

Spoiler

you forgot "God found my toy for me"

Spoiler

what if he did

Spoiler

 

[ToxicShocker]

The Italian Jack Handy above wins

 

[AshiharaFan]

Kids have the wildest imaginations. Another dumb thing I recall that I used to believe. I remember hearing the term "army ants" or "army OF ants" when I was little kid and I honestly thought if I looked at one under a microscope or magnifying glass it will look like a little person with an army helmet and two of it's arms holding a rifle with a bayonet. For a while I was actually scared of ants and even roaches because of this.

 

[45ACP]

11- french are ALL gay

They're not?

Spoiler

Great post, I was lmao the whole time. Your broken english (much better than my italian) just adds to the humor.

 

[Bacco]

They're not?

Spoiler

Great post, I was lmao the whole time. Your broken english (much better than my italian) just adds to the humor.

I guess some don't or they will have gone exinct

But is possible they use belgians who speak french too, vandamme in movies when he does'nt do splits or fight in clandestine tournaments often fuck blond girls (or maylee)

Tricky belgians



ps: obviously none of us ever seen a french in our life
We got an half french cute girl in another class, as her mother was french and dad italian