What do you do when you feel like you've reached the end?

[VulcanNervPinch]

I've tried to kill myself a couple times before but I wasn't so good at it really. And now I don't even know. But it's strange to feel like you've come to the conclusion of something - or yourself I guess. And it's really strange when you have all these feelings and the person that you haven't talked to in months won't talk to you. And then you realize all the stuff people pick on you about is true. And then you stop having a job that you love. And then you're afraid of the future.

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

You ride it out until you start feeling some hope again.
Then, when you have some hope, you start trying to make good things happen.
Eventually, some of your efforts pay off, and you feel better.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I've tried to kill myself a couple times before but I wasn't so good at it really. And now I don't even know. But it's strange to feel like you've come to the conclusion of something - or yourself I guess. And it's really strange when you have all these feelings and the person that you haven't talked to in months won't talk to you. And then you realize all the stuff people pick on you about is true. And then you stop having a job that you love. And then you're afraid of the future.

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

Fuck bitches. Get money.

 

[meauneau]

I've tried to kill myself a couple times before but I wasn't so good at it really. And now I don't even know. But it's strange to feel like you've come to the conclusion of something - or yourself I guess. And it's really strange when you have all these feelings and the person that you haven't talked to in months won't talk to you. And then you realize all the stuff people pick on you about is true. And then you stop having a job that you love. And then you're afraid of the future.

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

Ask yourself this, is all of this you mention worth dying for? Does all of this make life not worth living? If you are atheist, then you will probably be inclined to see the world through nihilistic lenses. Nothing ultimately matters, so nothing is worth dying for. And so nothing can make life not worth living. All that is left is game playing like some have mentioned here. Take life as a game where you follow some rules to get to the end. In order to play this game them you must continue to live.

 

[Benoitthegr8]

Been through some hard times a while back, I had questions about my own existence without answers. Maybe it was me, but I had to think one step ahead and be goal oriented while realizing things would get better. The psychotropic mess helped also, that was nearly a decade ago and I'm still here, not going to say my life is bliss, but I'm in a better spot now.

If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to PM me and I'll gladly try to help in anyway. Don't ever do something that's a permanent soulution to a temporary problem, that you can't undo... be well Sherbro.

 

[snakedafunky]

If you're in a situation where you know you're going to die anyways, then yeah sure...I'd rather kill myself too if I was in hitler's position. But for an average everyday guy having a tough time and trying to kill one self is pretty pathetic and weak. That's all I have to say.

It is not about being mentally weak or being pathetic in case it's legit mental illness. No matter how hard you try or what you do the chemical process in your brain make you feel bad nothing you can do about it. You can be the toughest guy ever if you get a mental illness it can be over.
I never felt depressed or anything but just think about it like when you loose a loved one. No matter how hard you try the time after their death you won't feel good. You just simply can't influence your brain to feel good. Just think about legit depression similar to that only that it goes on forever. Now you know why some people kill themselves to escape that feeling.

Of course, there is a lot of "pretend" mental illness these days because it somehow cool. But legit mental illness and depression have nothing to do with how tough you are its about the chemical process in your brain.
But as for TS I recommend to get professional help ASAP. You will be surprised how much good medication can help you.

 

[Organic Damage]

Inertia works.

 

[Mike]

I grit my way through it. Tell myself it'll be better tomorrow. Even if it isn't, I've clawed my way through another day.


Set small goals, try to work through them one by one. Give yourself permission to feel bad, but at the same time try to do things that will break you out of that mood, or even just distract you.




You can always talk to US too. We understand this stuff better than most, and we won't judge you. You know what I mean.


Hope things get better for you. Feeling pretty terrible myself, just keep telling myself it can't always be this bad. Eventually I'll be right.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

I've felt like that before. And I am not at all opposed to suicide. It's your life. So do what you want with it. But why not give it a couple more years? The worst that could happen is you die, which you already want to do. Just create a plan - how you are going to improve your life, and stick to it to see what happens. I think you will be surprised after a couple years. What have you got to lose?

When I was in your position, I made a deal with myself. I would start working out, go back to school; stop drinking, and cut out all the toxic people in my life. And I would really stick with this plan. Then; if after a year, I still felt like dying I would. Needless to say, I'm still here. My life is way better now.

 

[shockaholic12]

2016 almost killed me too.

My father, a healthy & happy psychologist retiring to the new cottage he had just finished building for my family started experiencing acute episodes of anxiety and illogical paranoia in Mid-Summer. He saw a therapist and started on a powerful anti-anxiety med. It was a misdiagnosis because he committed suicide a few weeks after starting the pills but had reported he wasn't suicidal before starting them, and left no note. I had booked a fight home to check on him and was 36 hours too late.

Probably a form of hard to diagnose early Alzheimer's but I'll never know because he shot himself in the head. I've had 3 uncles, a cousin, and my dad committ suicide. Could be a genetic thing. Worries me about my future a bit.

I scrubbed what was left of him off the back deck we built together, then 5 days later went under the deck to get the hose to water my mother's flowers before the funeral and had to shovel a big maggot filled puddle containing the contents of his skull that had run through the deck planks, into a bucket and bury it behind the house.

After the funeral I ignored my girlfriend who was taking a second chance with me too much as I dealt with the estate and coming back to working a 100 hour a week job. I had my grandmother's engagement ring made into a necklace to give to her for X-mas to show her I intended to propose to her in 2017 but never got the chance because she dumped me a week before. Kicker... she works on the tv show with me so I'll be seeing her too much soon and it's become clear I also need to find a new job now.

I was totally overwhelmed come Christmas - New Years up till a few days ago. Couldn't make it ten seconds without my mind going to a very dark place, grinding my teeth at night, lost 12 lbs and I'm a skinny guy. I might have killed myself if my mother and siblings weren't already grieving my dad's suicide.

Only thing that has helped is diving head first into trying to break into a new career and planning on moving to new city. You don't like your job and you think the people around you are making fun of you? It can't be worth the money so start planning your way out now. Make a budget based on your salary and see how long it will take to save up and leave, there's a tangible escape you can hold on to when feeling hopeless.

Find a new city. Very hard I know but the effort will keep you occupied and you will at least understand why things are hard. The people won't have a opinion of you so you can start fresh and you won't see the daily depressing reminders of your situation that you do now.

And talk to a shrink. It'll help.

 

[scorpipede]

you have to keep breathing. You simply have to make that happen. One foot in front of the other. Keep blood flowing in your veins and keep that heart pumping. And after that is secured, do things like this. What you've done. Make a thread on a forum. Reach out. Look to some place else. Dig. Scratch. Make something happen wherever possible.

You fight, sometimes.

You. Fucking. Fight.

Please.

 

[blitzk]

teh pron helps.

 

[Significance Deficit]

A strong support system. People that care about you when you don't care about yourself.

No one does it alone, including those suffering from depression.

 

[scorpipede]

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

I think you are mistaken.

It's not ever ok to give up.

when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too you need to change the company you keep.

 

[Significance Deficit]

I've been feeling pretty close to that point myself recently. I've also lived through suicide attempts in the past.

Strange feeling, living when you've already come to terms with throwing everything away. Most people will never understand it.

 

[bigbangspiritbomb]

Nobody lives out their life just to wish that they killed themself 40 years earlier. Whatever feelings you have will eventually pass.

It's never alright to give up.

This too will pass @ TS

 

[scorpipede]

I've been feeling pretty close to that point myself recently. I've also lived through suicide attempts in the past.

Strange feeling, living when you've already come to terms with throwing everything away. Most people will never understand it.

most people won't. That's one reason why humans are still on this earth.

2 times I legitimately tried to end my life and simply woke up, unexpectedly. No lasting effects. I think anyway.

 

[CatchOmega]

2016 almost killed me too.

My father, a healthy & happy psychologist retiring to the new cottage he had just finished building for my family started experiencing acute episodes of anxiety and illogical paranoia in Mid-Summer. He saw a therapist and started on a powerful anti-anxiety med. It was a misdiagnosis because he committed suicide a few weeks after starting the pills, had reported he wasn't suicidal before starting them, and left no note. I had booked a fight home to check on him and was 36 hours too late.

Probably a form of hard to diagnose early Alzheimer's, but I'll never know because he shot himself in the head. I've had 3 uncles, a cousin, and my dad committ suicide, could be a genetic thing. Worries me about my future a bit.

I scrubbed what was left of him off our the back deck we built together, then 5 days later went under the deck to get the hose to water my mother's flowers before the funeral and had to shovel a big maggot filled puddle, containing the contents of his skull that had run through the deck planks, into a bucket and bury it behind the house.

After the funeral I ignored my girlfriend who was taking a second chance with me too much as I dealt with the estate and coming back to working a 100 hour a week job. I had my grandmother's engagement ring made into a necklace to give to her for X-mas to show her I intended to propose to her in 2017 but never got the chance because she dumped me a week before. Kicker... she works on the tv show with me so I'll be seeing her too much soon and it's become clear I also need to find a new job now.

I was totally overwhelmed come Christmas - New Years up till a few days ago. Couldn't make it ten seconds without my mind going to a very dark place, grinding my teeth at night, lost 12 lbs and I'm a skinny guy. I might have killed myself if my mother and siblings weren't already grieving my dad's suicide.

Only thing that has helped is diving head first into trying to break into a new career and planning on moving to new city. You don't like your job and you think the people around you are making fun of you? It can't be worth the money so start planning your way out now. Make a budget based on your salary and see how long it will take to save up and leave, there's a tangiable escape you can hold on to when feeling hopeless.

Find a new city, very hard I know but the effort will keep you occupied and you will at least understand why things are hard. The people won't have a opinion of you so you can start fresh and you won't see the daily depressing reminders of your situation that you do now.

And talk to a shrink. It'll help.

Damn. I've been through some shit, but you've seriously had a rough go of things lately. Well written, insightful post. I hope the OP reads it. Thanks for the contribution and I hope things turn around for you.

 

[Matt M]

I just think that no matter how bad things seem, think of all the stuff you haven't seen, heard or watched yet.

I've never been genuinely in that dark a place that I've ever seriously thought about suicide, but there's been times where I don't think it would have been a stretch to get that far.
It might sound basic but I just think of all the films I haven't seen yet, all the future football/MMA matches I haven't seen yet, all the books I haven't read yet, all the music I haven't heard yet.
No matter how fucking bad it gets there are things like that around.

 

[equus]

swing your feet out of bed each day, and keep telling yourself "one more..." in everything you do. one more rep, one more step, one more task, one more hour, one more act, one more thing... push forward. schedule things to look forward to and make progress towards them. focus on the positive. even when you hate someone at work, focus on the positive. try to avoid them but be positive when dealing with them. push yourself and embrace whatever positivity you can.

 

[neverwas]

theres some good advice in here,and at least one person who needs to take their head for a shit. I've been as ow as you can get,and come out the other end,i won't lie and say its easy,but you have to try and keep trying. I've lost a few friends to suicide and had tout a friend of mine down,who hung himself. and all i can think is i wish he'd said something,then i could have done something.