The problem with our educational system: kids having best friends

SaiWa said:
wait what?

maybe way back in the days when parents gave permission and full trust to the teacher but in this day and age...? its absolutely the full responsibility of the parent(s) to teach discipline.

Will you allow your child to be spanked if he/she misbehaves in school then? if not then it is your responsibility. we handicap these teachers to the point of inefficacy and you expect them to also control them when they aren't being taught to be behave by their parents? seems really unfair IMO.

and I am not saying you are a bad parent but there are bad parents (or parents who have no time cause they work 2/47) out there who simply don't teach their kids proper manners.
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I think that's a tricky subject. Considering that the student is going to spend 6+ hours a day at school or on school related activities, there's certainly some responsibility that falls on the institution to instill discipline within its walls.

To make a broad counterpoint - would anyone support a school allowing one kid to routinely cheat on their work based on the argument that the school doesn't have any disciplinary responsibility.
 
the kid (Prince George) is 4 years old!...

Teachers telling these tiny little kids to play with everyone else in the class is bad?

Let's say you invite your 4 year old kid's classmate to his/her birthday, wouldn't you encourage your kid to play with all the kids that showed up?

I don't see anything bad with this. Eventually each kid will have their favorites (toy, friend, etc... ) but at that age, what is wrong with teachers encouraging these kids to be friends with everyone?

this is a non-issue but people are trying to twist it around to make it appear its some sort of SJW push and that teachers are banning "best friends"... GTFO here... if I was a teacher i'd try to encourage all these little kids to play with everyone.
 
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panamaican said:
You clearly didn't read the link or my post. In the post that you responded to, I actually explained why the Battersea reference isn't what you think it is - 1) Still England and 2) Doesn't ban best friends (click through to the Marie Claire article and read it).
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Have you read my posts? I've said a number of times that it is there policy to discourage it, have I not?
 
lfd0311 said:
Have you read my posts? I've said a number of times that it is there policy to discourage it, have I not?
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You said it was being discouraged for being exclusionary.

But when you actually read the link related to Battersea (not business insider but the Marie Claire link within the Business insider link) that statement about exclusion vs. inclusion doesn't come from the school or from any teachers. It comes from a woman who lives near the school and who has friends with children there, the article never says that she herself has kids there.

So, it's a woman who doesn't work at the school, doesn't teach in any schools, and doesn't have children at the school she's discussing giving an off-the-cuff opinion on why the kids have to invite all of the other kids to birthday parties - so that no one feels excluded. Note that the "excluded" comment is in relation to birthday party invitation rules, not best friends.
 
panamaican said:
I think that's a tricky subject. Considering that the student is going to spend 6+ hours a day at school or on school related activities, there's certainly some responsibility that falls on the institution to instill discipline within its walls.

To make a broad counterpoint - would anyone support a school allowing one kid to routinely cheat on their work based on the argument that the school doesn't have any disciplinary responsibility.
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nope.

I agree its tricky. I am with you but I do not think teachers have all the tools they need to correct all the bad ones properly. Behavior is generally taught and reinforced at home.

I don't even know why I am commenting in this thread... I don't have a kid. lol.

but I do have a nephew. For his 3rd birthday my brother threw a jungle gym party and invited all his little friends in day care and they all came and had fun. he was only playing with the girls at first (he's a fuckin' player!) but we encouraged him to play with everyone. He would run up to a girl, scream her name, hold her hand and they would run and go play. We told him to ask a guy friend who had just join the party and he ran up to him, screamed his name, held his hand and then they went running to go play... so cute..!
 
SaiWa said:
nope.

I agree its tricky. I am with you but I do not think teachers have all the tools they need to correct all the bad ones properly. Behavior is generally taught and reinforced at home.

I don't even know why I am commenting in this thread... I don't have a kid. lol.

but I do have a nephew. For his 3rd birthday my brother threw a jungle gym party and invited all his little friends in day care and they all came and had fun. he was only playing with the girls at first (he's a fuckin' player!) but we encouraged him to play with everyone. He would run up to a girl, scream her name, hold her hand and they would run and go play. We told him to ask a guy friend who had just join the party and he ran up to him, screamed his name, held his hand and then they went running to go play... so cute..!
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Kids are hilarious until they get tired and then they're hell.

But I agree that teachers don't have all of the tools they need to fully discipline the student body and this is particularly problematic with the youngest ones who can develop very bad habits.
 
yea let’s focus on everything but the actual education curriculum lol
 
I have no doubt that some freaks really would like to implement this. I mean the lady who wrote the article is a psychologist and she's all for it. I've discovered that there are some really sick, Brave New World types involved in public education who are more interested in social engineering than giving your kids a useful education. My daughter is in private school and all my future children will be as well.
 
lfd0311 said:
Have you read my posts? I've said a number of times that it is there policy to discourage it, have I not?
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how do you know what "discouraging it" even looks like based on these articles? what does that mean to "discourage" best friends? where is the school's policy on this? basically, why are you insisting on believing that this is actually happening?
 
Scheme said:
https://health.usnews.com/wellness/...uld-schools-ban-kids-from-having-best-friends



The problem with the concept of 'best friends' is that it isn't inclusive enough. People might feel excluded if they don't have a best friend, and then they might even be sad. We need to put a stop to this shameful display of discrimination.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/462185/schools-ban-children-making-best-friends/
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I don't believe this is actually some serious movement but regardless its silly. The idea that the term "best friend" has exclusionary connotations has actually already been addressed in our culture with the cheesy line "you can have more than one best friend" which I can, off the top of my head, recall at least two shows using; Stranger Things and Evens Stevens. Those two shows came out very far apart and I doubt they're the only ones to use that line.
 
That's crazy. The sadness is manageable. I had 2 different best friends move away in middle school and then in high school. Use it as an opportunity to teach them how to make new friend. Learning how to process disappointment and sadness is a good thing.
 
Happiest time in my life was when I shed some of my "friends" and hung out with just a small handful of close confidants. Heck, and that was when I was an adult.
 
I stopped reading the article when they gave the hypothetical story about a middle school girl being told by the girl in front of her that the girl next to her was her best friend.

This was not a "best friend" issue, but a "the girl sitting in front of you is a jerk" issue.
 
A couple of years ago, my son made a new "best friend".

This best friend and he would spend all of their free time together at school (recess, lunch, group-work in class, etc.).

As the friendship continued for a couple of months, I became concerned.

My son started complaining that he wasn't allowed to hang out with his peers. Only with his new "best friend."

He wasn't allowed to play tag or tetherball (they still play that?) with other kids. He could only play with this new friend.

I asked the teacher to intervene. She thought I was odd.

I asked the councilor to intervene. She thought it was a strange request.

I then demanded a meeting with me, my wife, the teacher, and the councilor.

We brought up my concerns and they didn't think it was a big deal.

Then, I pushed that since these two kids were in 2nd grade, they don't think it is a big deal. But, if these were two kids at 16 and one was a boy and one was a girl, they would be all over this issue like flies on shit.

Ensuring that one kid cannot play with others and monopolizing his time...is bullying. I was confused as to why the school couldn't see it. This is a controlling nature that would be a red flag if this was an adult (or adolescent) relationship.

The school said they would "monitor it".

However, my kid ended up pulling away. He saw that is friend was a shithead and told him he wasn't interested in the same things he liked.

The kid then found another kid to bully/control.

This year, they don't even talk to each other.
 
SaiWa said:
nope.

I agree its tricky. I am with you but I do not think teachers have all the tools they need to correct all the bad ones properly. Behavior is generally taught and reinforced at home.

I don't even know why I am commenting in this thread... I don't have a kid. lol.

but I do have a nephew. For his 3rd birthday my brother threw a jungle gym party and invited all his little friends in day care and they all came and had fun. he was only playing with the girls at first (he's a fuckin' player!) but we encouraged him to play with everyone. He would run up to a girl, scream her name, hold her hand and they would run and go play. We told him to ask a guy friend who had just join the party and he ran up to him, screamed his name, held his hand and then they went running to go play... so cute..!
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I think you're pretty spot on. I've had colleagues tell me that they've gone to parent-teacher conferences where it's been suggested that the parent do something simple like cut off the kid's phone, just to make the kid realize they don't run the show. This was an actual response, "Oh, I could never do that."

I don't understand how an adult can be that spineless. Cutting off a kid's phone doesn't even require a direct confrontation.
 
panamaican said:
Seems more of a language debate than a substantive one.
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True.

Some education around the consequences of such a term could be worthwhile but trying to rule it out as a concept is laughable
 
Lol best friends is so Late 90s its already 2018!!!
 
Thankfully the [definitely not right-wing pandering scum] GOAT Jordan Peterson has addressed this.

 
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