The best excuses for missing work at last minute

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Diarrhea


If you're willing to admit you have it no one will question you.

 

[faustian]

PTSD from what you now realize was your being the victim of dehumanizing date rape back in your early 20s when you were drunk 5/7 nights of the week yet your gf still had sex with (raped) you most of those nights

 

[Kraysla]

Stomach bug/the shits. It can come on suddenly and you would be incapacitated.

 

[Jihad]

Haha maybe you should change your work if you have to lie about things.
You can lie but you can't hide it from god.

 

[ObamaPhoneLady]

I'm a diabetic so I got a no fail 100% plausible always works never questioned perfect last minute excuse
The kid wins again

Once they cut your feet off you'll qualify for full time disability! Win-win!

 

[ObamaPhoneLady]

Haha maybe you should change your work if you have to lie about things.
You can lie but you can't hide it from god.

I can't blow myself up today, I have my period.

 

[DrVanNostrand]

I got fingered last night

 

[Jihad]

I can't blow myself up today, I have my period.

You people don't understand the meaning of honor.

 

[PlayswellwithLawnDarts]

Too spun out from drugging and whoring all weekend.Be back tomorrow

 

[ObamaPhoneLady]

You people don't understand the meaning of honor.

If killing innocent children with a suicide vest is honour, then no, I guess I don't.

 

[horc00]

 

[Jihad]

If killing innocent children with a suicide vest is honour, then no, I guess I don't.

you are being fooled my American propoganda

 

[Johnny Mac]

Good,not so good,bad,worst...,you need to take a day off,but don't have a good "material" anymore

What's your excuse?

I can't come in today,my legs have fallen asleep and they won't wake up

Just tell your boss that you need a mental health day.

 

[cobrinski]

Just tell your boss that you need a mental health day.

I can't,,that SOB is on vacation
24/7,365 days a year...

 

[2DUM2TAP]

EAS.... exploding ass syndrome

 

[Higus]

Just say you had diarrhea. Nobody ever questions diarrhea.

 

[minute bull]

I'm a diabetic so I got a no fail 100% plausible always works never questioned perfect last minute excuse

The kid wins again

Not in foot races.

 

[no fat chicks]

I worked as an electrician for 15 years..... when it's layoff time, they drop the hammer, hand you your paycheck, and you're done that day

Construction is a cruel mistress.

Ts i just called in sick. My words were a txt saying i feel sick and won't be coming in today. Are you actually sick?

 

[ToxicShocker]

The garage door at my Condo/Apartment wont open so I can't drive.

 

[ObamaPhoneLady]

you are being fooled my American propoganda