The best excuses for missing work at last minute

[Tank_Kam]

Migraine
Anxiety attack
You're a bum millennial
etc.
etc.

As a manager with a team of mostly younger 20 year olds I get the anxiety attack or migraine one pretty often

 

[Kanuck99]

#METOO!

 

[Benoitthegr8]

Work... What’s that...? Lol

I have a bum back and would work nicely as a go to.

 

[method115]

Why do you have to tell them what's wrong with you? Just say you're not feeling well. Most employers don't care to know the exact reason unless it's more than a day or two. Just give a notice.

This is what I say now. Im not feeling well period. If you have kids saying one of them is sick also works but I only do this if I just took a day off recently but I'm in a 0 fucks given mood and want to stay home again.

 

[MaxMMA]

I usually just tell them "I'm not coming."

If i feel the need to give an excuse i tell them im sick, I will then call in again the following day to cement the lie. After all, who would be brazen enough to call in two days in a row if it wasn't a legit reason?

 

[Halifax]

Good,not so good,bad,worst...,you need to take a day off,but don't have a good "material" anymore

What's your excuse?

I can't come in today,my legs have fallen asleep and they won't wake up

Myself and the guys who work under me in my department need to be nearly dying to call in sick to work. Kids sick are another matter entirely and sometimes cause me to need to swap to night shift so I can start work after my fiancee comes home so she can watch the kids if they cannot go to school

The good thing is, everyone knows I never call in sick unless I am dying, so the rare times it happens, nobody questions it. Maybe you should work on that. It is called character

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

I called in a month in probation, on the morning and an hour before work. I told them that I had food poisoning and that I physically couldn't walk another ten minutes to the Underground station. I collapsed on the side walk immediately after ending the conversation.

Went in the day after but the day after that, I told them that I was going to A&E because I was constantly shitting blood, thought that I had prolapsed my rectum and that I needed to check for permanent injury.

The managers liked the "I'm glad that I had a female nurse because she had smaller fingers" line though.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

I once called in to work, explaining that there was a bomb in my butt that a team was trying to defuse.

 

[cobrinski]

Myself and the guys who work under me in my department need to be nearly dying to call in sick to work. Kids sick are another matter entirely and sometimes cause me to need to swap to night shift so I can start work after my fiancee comes home so she can watch the kids if they cannot go to school

The good thing is, everyone knows I never call in sick unless I am dying, so the rare times it happens, nobody questions it. Maybe you should work on that. It is called character

ok,i'll try to fix myself..

 

[HunterAcosta]

There's some weird dynamic going on where people feel a loyalty and obligation to their employer when the employer does not return that same loyalty.

I see people worried about giving "2 weeks notice" before quitting so as not to screw over the employer...... the truth is that when that same employer decides your services are no longer needed.... they bounce you out that day. They don't give you "2 weeks notice" to give you a chance.

If you don't want to go to work that day, you don't owe or need an "excuse".... your responsibility ends at "I'm not coming in today"

There's nothing else they need to know

Well, to be fair, the two weeks notice thing is just (in my case) to ensure(or at least maximize) the chances Ill get a good recommendation. Legally they cant say anything bad about you to your potential new employer calling them for references....HOWEVER, employers can and do sabotage your chances at another job. And we all know that employers sometimes give fuck all about laws. But, I agree about fools having unquestioned loyalty to a company. Its just a means to an end in my book. We mutually use each others services. That's where it ends and begins in my book and a person would have to be a damn fool to think otherwise. You can be friends with your coworkers and all that, but the actual employer(s)....fuck all that noise. Plenty of people were friends with the boss or owner and are standing in the unemployment line reminiscing about the good ol days.

 

[AGGAMEMNON66]

Why do you have to tell them what's wrong with you? Just say you're not feeling well. Most employers don't care to know the exact reason unless it's more than a day or two. Just give a notice.

Well, TS isn't employed so..

 

[HunterSdVa29]

I can just leave when I want b/c we earn paid leave so who cares
that being said I have concocted many elaborate stories to excuse half days when I just want to go home

I've had the same 'root canal' three times, for example