Friend of mine screwed over by divorce

[indo80]

The wife pushed for the divorce.

His house was almost paid off in full. He was planning on retiring two years from now.

Now he can NEVER afford to retire.

i stand corrected........i guess she thinks she can live off of the money from the house until she gets some other sucker.

 

[HIMBOB]

I feel like the whole HALF concept has been around long enough for him to have known better.

As my BJJ coach said when I asked about rnc defence, don't get there in the first place.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

i stand corrected........i guess she thinks she can live off of the money from the house until she gets some other sucker.

If they were married 20 years and she didn’t have any meaningful income she’ll get alimony.

 

[Protectandserve]

If you marry someone, they are entitled to half, whether or not they contribute financially or not. It’s your fault if you don’t make them contribute, not theirs. I’m married 20 years with 2 kids. If we divorce, she gets half and child support. That’s the deal. My only issue is 401k if the woman wants the divorce. Imo 401k is retirement based on contract of staying togetherness. If one party decides to end the contract, the 401k deal should be void. Why do I care what your retirement is in 20 years when we aren’t together?
But that not how it works. My buddy is a cop. After 2 kids and 15 years togther his wife files for divorce because she feels she has a right to be is a passionate relationship. Admits he is a great guy, just feels she is young enough to be in a more passionate deal. She got half the house, child support, and half of his pension.she shouldn’t get that because she opted out.

I got lucky and was able to keep my pension when I got divorced. My ex got a chunk of my CALPERS pension split to her. Shitty part is it means I need to work a few more years to make up for the loss.

Getting divorced fucking sucks. You generally get your ass handed to you if you're a dude.

 

[IloveTHIS]

Happens every single day.

Guys get desperate and make bad judgement calls...still bs and ridiculously unfair

 

[indo80]

If they were married 20 years and she didn’t have any meaningful income she’ll get alimony.

i hope he had his fun for those 20 years but in reality is this guy really going to work after the age of 65 if he has to pay alimony? can the govt go after his savings for alimony after the age of 65 if he stops working?

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

i hope he had his fun for those 20 years but in reality is this guy really going to work after the age of 65 if he has to pay alimony? can the govt go after his savings for alimony after the age of 65 if he stops working?

They’ll likely just take a lump sum now. So instead of him losing just 50% of his net worth in the division of matrimonial property he’ll lose 70-80% to make up for the fact that he can’t be expected to pay for alimony for the next 10-20 years.

 

[blaseblah]

A fool and his money are soon parted. I mean, if you have to be warned not to marry an illegal immigrant who can't hold down a job...

 

[closequarters]

They’ll likely just take a lump sum now. So instead of him losing just 50% of his net worth in the division of matrimonial property he’ll lose 70-80% to make up for the fact that he can’t be expected to pay for alimony for the next 10-20 years.

That sounds insane. If she can not work, why can’t he choose to not work also. That’s fucked up.

 

[indo80]

They’ll likely just take a lump sum now. So instead of him losing just 50% of his net worth in the division of matrimonial property he’ll lose 70-80% to make up for the fact that he can’t be expected to pay for alimony for the next 10-20 years.

good reason to not mess up a marriage......i guess the lesson here is to only marry someone that is in your league financially so that alimony doesnt come into play and marry a woman with a pension.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

That sounds insane. If she can not work, why can’t he choose to not work also. That’s fucked up.

good reason to not mess up a marriage......i guess the lesson here is to only marry someone that is in your league financially so that alimony doesnt come into play and marry a woman with a pension.

Actually TS did say his friend has a pension so if that’s divided at the source (ie as it pays out to him it pays out to her) then that would be in lieu of alimony, so forget what I said about the lump payment.

 

[bean88]

He should do a runner to Thailand or Cambodia and screw the idiot over but as has been said many times he should have seen this coming. She sounds like a terrible person to have married

 

[MaxMMA]

How long were they married for? Did they have kids? Yeah what you're saying makes it sound like he's getting screwed but there are few actual details in the OP.

Did she wash his dirty underwear and raise kids for 18 years? Or did this bitch literally sit on her ass eating cake and watching telemundo for 5 years and is now cashing in?

Also why is she pushing the divorce?

 

[IloveTHIS]

man I was having a shit day but then I come back to this thread and realize its not so bad......

Fuck working until the day I die because some bum bitch I took care of for 20 years wants to steal all my shit.........I'd not take that sitting down.

 

[DC23]

Time for him to start living his life again. He knew what he was getting into when he got married. Can't be surprised that he has to payout.

 

[orangecuse]

20 years younger, foreign, never showed any intention to make a living of her own. Was it her or his own ego and/or desperation that blinded him and eventually did him in?

 

[Oblivian]

He's not getting screwed over in the divorce. Exactly what is supposed to happen in a divorce is happening. He's lucky that he doesn't have to pay alimony or maintenance.

 

[SammyPops]

A co-worker and a friend of mine is going through divorce. I've known him and his wife for quite awhile. His wife cannot hold a job for more than a month. She quits because every job is too hard for her. She's had so many and I am not exaggerating how many jobs she has had. He pays for the mortgage, bills, everything. She basically pays for nothing. He has to lease her a car because she wants drive a new car every 2 years. Whatever little money she gets from her paycheck when she has a job, she spends on herself.

They have a house. They have to sell the house, so that she gets half of the equity. She never put anything towards the mortgage. He has to give her half of his 401k, of course she hasn't put in a penny towards it. My friend is 60 years old. It's too late for him to start over. He's screwed big time. I think the problem was that there was too much of an age gap. She's around 20 years younger than him. She was a Mexican illegal immigrant and he jumped through hoops to get her citizenship.

What can a person do in a situation like this? When you're getting up there in years, it's way too late to start over, you lose your house, you lose your 401k, you have to move to an apartment or rent a house.

Firstly- 99% of divorces end with someone getting "screwed". Its messay af.

Secondly- this was my come to Jesus moment: if your friend was fine with this arrangement while married, he has agreed to this going foward. If he did not want to be compelled to continue this financial arrangement, he should not have been party to it from the get go.

Several years ago, a friend of mine, married for 20+ years, three kids was tellign us how fucked he was getting, b/c his wife had never worked outside the house. It struck me .... the above struck me! He cannot be aprty fo a financial arrangement then bitch when he is held responsible to continue it.

Any dude who is okay with a partner who does not contribute financially to the marriage, he is fucking retarded and deserves to get "screwed over".

 

[Oblivian]

Firstly- 99% of divorces end with someone getting "screwed". Its messay af.

Secondly- this was my come to Jesus moment: if your friend was fine with this arrangement while married, he has agreed to this going foward. If he did not want to be compelled to continue this financial arrangement, he should not have been party to it from the get go.

Several years ago, a friend of mine, married for 20+ years, three kids was tellign us how fucked he was getting, b/c his wife had never worked outside the house. It struck me .... the above struck me! He cannot be aprty fo a financial arrangement then bitch when he is held responsible to continue it.

Any dude who is okay with a partner who does not contribute financially to the marriage, he is fucking retarded and deserves to get "screwed over".

You are one of the very few that get it. I don't know why so many people have trouble wrapping their heads around the concept.

People also never seem to understand child support. I always hear people say - but I'm paying so much, I should get to see them! It's the opposite relationship. The more you see them, the less you pay.

 

[some random guy]

good reason to not mess up a marriage......i guess the lesson here is to only marry someone that is in your league financially so that alimony doesnt come into play and marry a woman with a pension.

Yeah but we all know the temptation is to use that financial advantage to marry someone who is otherwise outside of the guys league (typically age and looks).