Christmas Party Story

Vergilius said:
Oh, there is no question of me saying what happened and what I saw.

The thing is, do I also say: "yeah, Daniel was a drunk douchebag, but we all know he's had a really tough year. It's unlikely he'll do it again and he's really sorry, so maybe you guys could let him off with a warning just this once?"

I dunno. I've got no formal power to make any decisions, but my opinion is often taken into account... I keep going back and forth on what to do.
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I don't think that there would be anything wrong with giving that additional context of what's going on in his personal life. How that weighs on the final outcome is up to those in power. Maybe it saves him from getting fired, maybe he still gets fired but a little more gently, or maybe it changes nothing. If you've never known the guy to do something like that before, I don't see the problem with adding those details. But do it dispassionately and don't give the sense that you're trying to stick up for him, like you're just stating it for the record. If he's exhibited creep behavior before, fuck 'em.
 
blackheart said:
I don't think that there would be anything wrong with giving that additional context of what's going on in his personal life. How that weighs on the final outcome is up to those in power. Maybe it saves him from getting fired, maybe he still gets fired but a little more gently, or maybe it changes nothing. If you've never known the guy to do something like that before, I don't see the problem with adding those details. But do it dispassionately and don't give the sense that you're trying to stick up for him, like you're just stating it for the record. If he's exhibited creep behavior before, fuck 'em.
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Agreed, thanks sherbro.
 
Pliny Pete said:
He's already fired no matter what, you cant change that, companies dont joke around about sexual harassment
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Unless it's a girl grabbing a guy, seen that happen at work parties all the time... nobody cares.
 
Unacceptable. Get rid of him. It doesn't mean you have to hate the guy, I'm still friends with several former co-workers that got fired over being an idiot.

Had something similar happen at a work party last year. Older dude got real drunk and grabby with the ladies. Was thrown out. Drove home, wrecked his car and fled the scene on foot. We are no longer allowed to organize any sort of get togethers whatsoever at work and no more alcohol at work events.
 
He’s a grown man who’s responsible for himself and he fucked up royal , it’s not your place to take sides or influence the situation in either direction, just calmly tell the truth and let the people who are being paid to make this decision and carry that burden.
I honestly think that no matter what anyone says to try to defend him he’s getting clipped
 
I have been blackout drunk numerous times. I have had numerous “bad” years. I have never once sexually assaulted or harassed any women.

Just because he was drunk, that doesn’t somehow absolve him of responsibility.

I have had friends who did do that sort of thing while they were drunk. And you know what? They were all fucking morons when sober too, as long as you knew them well enough. Otherwise, they just kept their guard up around everyone and never really let anyone in. Because they knew that if they did, everyone would see that they totally want to go around groping women against their will because that’s the type people they were.

Just tell the truth.
 
the company has to be partially responsible as well. you allow alcohol into your workplace, you must bear certain responsibility when incidents like this take place. we have alcohol at our workplace, though my company is a very small, tight-knit group, and i couldn't imagine anyone there doing such an act.

more companies should have office parties in public restaurants, bars, lounges, etc. place the responsibility on those places to ensure the parties run smoothly, and no one gets out of line.
 
Vergilius said:
We had our office Christmas party 14 days ago. I was the MC, and it was pretty great. However, there was one unfortunate incident: a guy in his 50’ies got drunk and grabbed the asses of two young women there (both in their 20'ies). I don’t know this guy that well, but he’s nice enough normally. He had a difficult year with a stress diagnosis and is a single father to two boys. He was quite drunk, though, never seen him like that before.

One of the girls was really upset and told him off to his face. When I heard what had happened, I got hold of him, told him to apologize and steered him out the door, which he acquiesced to.

I spoke to the girls over Christmas, and they are ok, but they’ve sent a complaint to management, and I’ve been called in as a witness.

Here’s my dilemma: I kind of feel bad for the guy. He was a drunk douche, for sure, but to me he’s more pathetic than anything else, and the fact that he’s a single father to teenage boys and already had a terrible year… I find myself not wanting anything too bad to happen to him. At the same time, it wasn’t my ass that was grabbed so maybe it’s none of my business.

I’m friendly with the two women and especially one of them is not inclined to be merciful… I don’t know what management is thinking, but I could maybe have an opportunity to put my thumb on the scale a little bit, and maybe I could even get the girls to let up a bit. But I just dunno. The guy made his own bed for sure.

So what say ye, Sherdog? When I go in to testify, I’m definitely going to state the facts of what happened… but should I also call for mercy or just state the facts and let the chips fall where they may?
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I would go with the, "I didn't see anything happen. But, since some people seemed a little too excited, I helped cool down the situation. No idea how much people drank," type of answer.
 
Say what happened at let the chips fall where they may.
You are not responsible so don't involve yourself further. Putting in a good word for him will unsettle other female workers if they are wanting justice. It could make things look like a 'boys club'. Plus he could end up doing it again after you vouch for him.

The decision on what to do with him can be left to your superiors. Any decision or guilt will be theirs to feel.

The best thing for your conscience is tell the truth and that's it. Any further involvement may lead you to further problems.
 
mb23100 said:
Unacceptable. Get rid of him. It doesn't mean you have to hate the guy, I'm still friends with several former co-workers that got fired over being an idiot.

Had something similar happen at a work party last year. Older dude got real drunk and grabby with the ladies. Was thrown out. Drove home, wrecked his car and fled the scene on foot. We are no longer allowed to organize any sort of get togethers whatsoever at work and no more alcohol at work events.
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More details. What happened after he ran off? How did people find out? Did he keep his job? Lol
 
clutchCAT420 said:
More details. What happened after he ran off? How did people find out? Did he keep his job? Lol
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I was told he ran somewhere to sleep it off and tried to report his car stolen the next day. Avoided the DUI but got in trouble for lying about the stolen car. Not sure what happened to him. Yeah he was fired. He was an older Filipino (50's maybe) room service waiter. Not sure exactly how people found out.

Edit: I vaguely remember people saying they saw his car wrecked into a light pole when they left the bar later.
 
Your coworker's meeting with HR is gunna be like...

iu
 
mb23100 said:
I was told he ran somewhere to sleep it off and tried to report his car stolen the next day. Avoided the DUI but got in trouble for lying about the stolen car. Not sure what happened to him. Yeah he was fired. He was an older Filipino (50's maybe) room service waiter. Not sure exactly how people found out.

Edit: I vaguely remember people saying they saw his car wrecked into a light pole when they left the bar later.
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Glad he didnt hurt anyone behind the wheel. Sounds like he got good given the circumstances.
 
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