Christmas Party Story

[Vergilius]

you can't go around sexually assaulting people, especially co-workers.

you can feel for the guy, but you have to do the right thing

Oh, there is no question of me saying what happened and what I saw.

The thing is, do I also say: "yeah, Daniel was a drunk douchebag, but we all know he's had a really tough year. It's unlikely he'll do it again and he's really sorry, so maybe you guys could let him off with a warning just this once?"

I dunno. I've got no formal power to make any decisions, but my opinion is often taken into account... I keep going back and forth on what to do.

 

[Pliny Pete]

Oh, there is no question of me saying what happened and what I saw.

The thing is, do I also say: "yeah, Daniel was a drunk douchebag, but we all know he's had a really tough year. It's unlikely he'll do it again and he's really sorry, so maybe you guys could let him off with a warning just this once?"

I dunno. I've got no formal power to make any decisions, but my opinion is often taken into account... I keep going back and forth on what to do.

Is rehab an option?

 

[Vergilius]

Is rehab an option?

I dunno. I don't think he's an alcoholic, I can't remember seeing him that drunk before and I've worked with him for years (I don't socialize with him, though)... come to think of it, that's actually a bad sign with the year he's had.

 

[Belaya Smert]

According to my information, we are looking at two cases of slap and grab.

Not good

 

[helax]

Oh, there is no question of me saying what happened and what I saw.

The thing is, do I also say: "yeah, Daniel was a drunk douchebag, but we all know he's had a really tough year. It's unlikely he'll do it again and he's really sorry, so maybe you guys could let him off with a warning just this once?"

I dunno. I've got no formal power to make any decisions, but my opinion is often taken into account... I keep going back and forth on what to do.

Na fuck all that. Just say what you saw and let the cards fall as they may. Getting drunk and having a hard time in your personal life boohoo. You don't have to advocate for punishment but you don't know how likely he is to do it again tbh. Would you have thought he would've done it the first time?

 

[Pliny Pete]

I dunno. I don't think he's an alcoholic, I can't remember seeing him that drunk before and I've worked with him for years (I don't socialize with him, though)... come to think of it, that's actually a bad sign with the year he's had.

Dont matter if hes an alcoholic, Im asking if rehab is an option to help him keep his job, you really seem to not want him to be fired so maybe that would be a compromise you could bring up

 

[jeff7b9]

Oh, there is no question of me saying what happened and what I saw.

The thing is, do I also say: "yeah, Daniel was a drunk douchebag, but we all know he's had a really tough year. It's unlikely he'll do it again and he's really sorry, so maybe you guys could let him off with a warning just this once?"

I dunno. I've got no formal power to make any decisions, but my opinion is often taken into account... I keep going back and forth on what to do.

I'd say no to that.

Or at most "he had a rough year' but definitely seems out of pocket to advise HR as to their handling of this.

You are not your brothers keeper and you would be a fool to CHOOSE to tie yourself to that sinking ship.

It is up to that guy to make ammends...
It was his actions that caused the problem.

 

[Vergilius]

Na fuck all that. Just say what you saw and let the cards fall as they may. Getting drunk and having a hard time in your personal life boohoo. You don't have to advocate for punishment but you don't know how likely he is to do it again tbh. Would you have thought he would've done it the first time?

No, you are right: I wouldn't have thought he was the type... but then I've never really seen him drunk before. He's a moron... but I dunno. I feel for his teen boys whom he are raising on his own. They've already been through a year of their dad being sick with stress... then he makes it back for three months and now this. F*cking hell.

 

[AZ103]

Let's play a game.

Your daughter comes home to you and tells you a drunk older man at the office party helped himself uninvited to a grab of her ass.

How do you feel about that?

Your sister comes home to you and tells you a drunk man at the office party helped himself uninvited to a grab of her ass.

How do you feel about that?

Your wife comes home to you and tells you a drunk man at the office party helped himself uninvited to a grab of her ass.

How do you feel about that?
_____________________________

Let's play another game. The guy apologies but still loses his job so he blows his brains out. The girls go out to the club and a different douche grabs their ass, they survive that as well. How do you feel about that?

I'm not saying don't fire him but we can play dumb hypotheticals in which you would be justified in feeling any way all day long. I'd probably take into account how said woman felt about it.

My wife seems the type that if the dude is an old loser with a hard life she may say he was drunk and is harmless but needs to apologize. Some people are reasonable. No woman is getting fired for a drunk groping at a party.

 

[Vergilius]

I'd say no to that.

Or at most "he had a rough year' but definitely seems out of pocket to advise HR as to their handling of this.

You are not your brothers keeper and you would be a fool to CHOOSE to tie yourself to that sinking ship.

It is up to that guy to make ammends...
It was his actions that caused the problem.

You are right, I suppose. I will say that my culture is generally more forgiving and a lot less formal (I can speak to my boss on a first-name basis, I've been to his house for dinner etc.) - for better or worse. It helps that lawsuits aren't really a common thing here. But still, I should probably just stay out of things. I'll go sleep on it, I guess.

 

[jeff7b9]

You are right, I suppose. I will say that my culture is generally more forgiving and a lot less formal (I can speak to my boss on a first-name basis, I've been to his house for dinner etc.) - for better or worse. It helps that lawsuits aren't really a common thing here. But still, I should probably just stay out of things. I'll go sleep on it, I guess.

I don't think this is your hill to die on.

Just tell the truth, but I wouldn't go further and potentially overstep.

 

[Vergilius]

Let's play another game. The guy apologies but still loses his job so he blows his brains out. The girls go out to the club and a different double grabs their ass, they survive that as well. How do you feel about that?

I'm not saying don't fire him but we can play dumb hypotheticals in which you would be feeling any way all day long. I'd probably take into account how said woman felt about it.

My wife seems the type that if the dude is an old loser with a hard life she may say he was drunk and is harmless but needs to apologize. Some people are reasonable. No woman is getting fired for a drunk groping at a party.

Yeah, I literally had my ass grabbed twice times at that party as other (drunk) women wanted to illustrate what Daniel did... they just did it like it was nothing, but, then, I'm not complaining, lol.

 

[AZ103]

Yeah, I literally had my ass grabbed twice times at that party as other women wanted to illustrate what Daniel did... they just did it like it was nothing, but, then, I'm not complaining, lol.

I've been sexually harassed by women at work several times and I know it's prevalent as hell because I've spent most of my life in construction. My time spent working with women in industries has been short. And I will say drunk or not they are way more out of control than any man I've ever seen on a job. I've heard guys whisper shit alone but women think they're invincible and will do and say whatever they want in full view in my experience.

 

[Vergilius]

I've been sexually harassed by women at work several of times and I know it's prevalent as hell because I've spent most of my life in construction. My time spent working with women in industries has been short. And I will say drunk or not they are way more out of control than any man I've ever seen on a job. I've heard guys whisper shit alone but women think they're invincible and will do and say whatever they want in full view in my experience.

Yes, and it's glorious, in my humble opinion.

 

[helax]

No, you are right: I wouldn't have thought he was the type... but then I've never really seen him drunk before. He's a moron... but I dunno. I feel for his teen boys whom he are raising on his own. They've already been through a year of their dad being sick with stress... then he makes it back for three months and now this. F*cking hell.

Yeah I get it. That sucks. He put everyone in a bad situation with his drunken actions. Like I said I'm not saying you should be advocating for him to be punished. Mentioning he's had a tough year is fine but shit man most people are going through something. It isn't some fluke that he happened to grab two young chick's asses though lol. Out of all the things he could've done he went with some creep shit. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. I wouldn't want any female in my life having to work with some bozo that got drunk and grabbed her ass. He didn't even know the one chick, as you mentioned. That isn't just some "woe is me, life is hard" shit.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

I'd just decline to go.

 

[AZ103]

Yes, and it's glorious, in my humble opinion.

I have never liked it. I don't like to be touched by people i dont know and I don't like women who are very forward. Admittedly the hot ones may have had me feeling a special way and I never told on anyone, even the uglies. I just told them no more.

 

[Domitian]

One incident and maybe it's not that bad. Two and he's fucked. It's his own fault. Just state the facts and go about your day.

 

[boingyman]

Time to put in some job applications.

 

[toasty]

friend was working late, they work in fairly sketchy neighborhood. female co-worker's car wouldn't start. he went, tried to jump it (not her you clowns) and then waited for tow truck to get there when they still couldn't get it started. In chatting while waiting, she hinted at a problem with both of their boss. She was entry level, friend Senior Management level, Boss VP. Friend could sense she wanted to talk about a deeper problem but he didn't want to get involved so steered conversation away without getting details other than she was very upset about some unknown thing.

Cut to the chase, he gets called into human resources 2 weeks later, asked about that night, tells the story above, thinks all is done.

1 week later his boss is fired

2 weeks later he is informed he is being fired because HR did not think he was "forthcoming' about that night.

To this day he does not know what the boss is accused of doing or why he got fired. He assumes sexual harassment but never got told by lady, HR or Boss. He basically got fired for putting in extra time that he was not paid extra for and for being nice trying to help her fix her car and then stay with her so she was safe until the tow truck came.

Moral of the story is drunk ass slapping guy is on his own. you report what you know as fact and keep your words to the bare minimum, you keep your opinions about what should happen, and/or his reasons for acting the fool to yourself, you make this as much about the women and the guy's action and as little about you as humanly possible.

you go forward with your job intact and knowing you have carte blanche to slap at least 1 ass in the future.