Your Most Awkward Jiu-Jitsu Situation

[In Chains]

That raises a good question, is there any female head instructors with their own school anywhere? I can't think of one personally.

 

[FREAK656]

Another I had a guy call up and schedule a private with me, saying he'd trained with several of my friends. I show up, expecting a small white/blue belt guy (normally the profile of the guys I teach privates to) and it was like a 50+ year old, 6'1", 200 lb dude in running shorts with nothing to keep the boys in. Throughout the lesson it was very obvious that the guy was not there for jiu jitsu, but some fetish wrestling BS, and I was getting super uncomfortable (he only looked me in the eye rolling). I couldn't justify kicking him out for creeping me out, because he didn't do anything outright wrong, but it was so horrifying I took one of those crying, rocking rape showers.

LMAO! "crying, rocking rape showers" ahh, so refreshing!
well my best story, One day we had this BEAUTIFUL 17 year old girl from another school come in (I'm 16, not a pedo) and she was fairly new to BJJ but still had some idea what she was doing, wasn't really over the whole it happens thing with touching certain spots, anywho we were about to start free sparring and we were talking, she was flirting a bit but i was in fight mode so it really didn't register, anyway we start and she immediately goes for double under-hooks and I just let her have it...then she went for what i assume was supposed to be a single leg (er something, was kinda weird) shot her hand down INTO my shorts AND underwear and managed to grab my cup...I couldn't stop myself from busting out laughing and I thought she was gonna pass out from embarrassment...then my coach came over and asked what happened and I just told him that it wasn't a big deal. I have to say that was the only time I've ever had a girl unintentionally grab my dick almost skin to skin, to make things even better i saw her a week later at sweetbay and went to talk to her and she turned bright red when i walked up so I just said hi and went on not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

 

[moehawk]

i once had mount and i farted

 

[Hellboy31]

Whats the most awkward situation you've ever been in?

Here's mine, I had a blind girl come and study jiu-jitsu at our school (Which is AWESOME imo) and I was there on her first day visiting the school. I had seen on the news about a blind girl training in the area at other schools and knew she had some knowledge on the mat.

So I didn't have a problem with this, at all, my problem was when the specific training started. I kinda wanted a precedent to go off of how the other guys rolled with her and at what level of aggression but of course I got picked to get on the mat first and after defeating the first two guys, she was up in line. So now I'm think "Great, either I go hard and beat her while everyones watching and I'm the dick head that beat the blind girl...or I let her beat me and I'm the dick head that lost to the blind girl on purpose.

(hand outs piss off some handicap people) so i'm not sure how she'll react. If she is a girl AND blind and comes to jiu-jitsu...she's a tuff individual and may not want any hand outs and actually RESENT me letting her win. Talk about fucking awkward... so I kind of lucked out...I played a soft guard and let her pass only when she did the correct technique to side guard then when she mounted softly swept her and explained she would of won the "specific training drill" if she would of been more careful with her base. I figured that was the best way out of that one. lol.

I'm actually very good friends with the girl you are talking about. We met a few years back and just kind of kept in touch.. I sent her an email letting her know there was a thread about her on sherdog and she just sent me back a response.... I'm going to copy and paste it word for word..

a;oeihfad;nafgpoihartgnar;i adgoihagragpoirhg aouihgq;oihgqpouirbhgq
aoiughaoihg
aoihgaproihgapoihg a
aghoairhg opairghpaeirhg parihg a;gih
arophgiargolnargihafglkjnarihgjarhoinafgiojsroijaopginag
aoihgoaihnarohgisafoigharogihraoih


As you can tell she was a little pissed off.. Hopefully you will take in to account other people's feelings before posting from now on.

 

[grayam]

I rolled with a girl for the first time the other day and managed to sprawl on her back when she went for a takedown. When I swam my hand through to set up a d'arce choke, I had my fingers straight and, lo and behold, she shifted, I missed my mark and shoved my hand right down her top. I'm talking straight into the gi and into the shirt she had underneath. I felt skin on my fingertips and an alarm went off in my head when I realized it wasn't just the area around her clavicle, so I yanked my hand back and just settled the position. I didn't have the balls to venture there again for fear of being considered a perv.

Ultimately, she didn't seem to care, but I did feel bad about it for a little while.

 

[lechien]

Another I had a guy call up and schedule a private with me, saying he'd trained with several of my friends. I show up, expecting a small white/blue belt guy (normally the profile of the guys I teach privates to) and it was like a 50+ year old, 6'1", 200 lb dude in running shorts with nothing to keep the boys in. Throughout the lesson it was very obvious that the guy was not there for jiu jitsu, but some fetish wrestling BS, and I was getting super uncomfortable (he only looked me in the eye rolling). I couldn't justify kicking him out for creeping me out, because he didn't do anything outright wrong, but it was so horrifying I took one of those crying, rocking rape showers.

That is pretty spooky.

I would have just said: No gi = No training.

Hope you are screening your appointment.

I know that sisters of steel get clients like that weirdo.

 

[no_itsnotadash**]

Geez, does everyone really have that big of a problem grappling with girls?

 

[Gabicho]

Broke a guy's posture and on the way down he got two fistfulls of boobs. Now, I'm not a flat chested girl, so that happens, but I brush it off. Except...he didn't let go. That little shit left his hands CUPPING my boobs for a solid 3-4 seconds and MADE EYE CONTACT. I was so creeped out, ended up putting him to sleep. I used a triangle, which in hindsite wasn't a good idea.

:icon_chee
Something similar happened to me once.
I was in this girl's guard (who had very large breasts, by the way), and as i was trying to posture up, she grabbed my wrists and pulled them upwards, while pulling with her legs, trying to break my posture. Well, lo and behold, as she pulled me hard, out of instinct i ended up placing my hands on her chest (yeah, breasts) to prevent her from breaking my posture. I instantly felt the contact, and removed the hands... but since she was still pulling me downwards with her legs, my head ended up in her chest (and in between her breasts).
I placed my hands on the mat and made a lot of effort to regain posture, but she wouldn't let me. So i was forced (and against my will) into doing some kind of motorboating.
She suddenly realized what she was doing, opened her guard and went for butterfly. She blushed, blushed some more, and said "sorry". I just said "Don't worry, it's ok"
We kept rolling as if nothing happened, but she stopped from using closed guard.

 

[anaconda]

I'm actually very good friends with the girl you are talking about. We met a few years back and just kind of kept in touch.. I sent her an email letting her know there was a thread about her on sherdog and she just sent me back a response.... I'm going to copy and paste it word for word..

a;oeihfad;nafgpoihartgnar;i adgoihagragpoirhg aouihgq;oihgqpouirbhgq
aoiughaoihg
aoihgaproihgapoihg a
aghoairhg opairghpaeirhg parihg a;gih
arophgiargolnargihafglkjnarihgjarhoinafgiojsroijaopginag
aoihgoaihnarohgisafoigharogihraoih


As you can tell she was a little pissed off.. Hopefully you will take in to account other people's feelings before posting from now on.

Wow that's incredibly funny ...fuck off dipshit

 

[StranGold**]

That raises a good question, is there any female head instructors with their own school anywhere? I can't think of one personally.

gazzy parman in cali

 

[Hillary]

That raises a good question, is there any female head instructors with their own school anywhere? I can't think of one personally.

Lana Stefanac and Gazzy Parman.

 

[Hillary]

Just curious, but ever any plans to open your own school? I can't imagine the interesting crowd (mainly good people) your school would attract.

Nah, not at least that I would be the main instructor at. I'd like to have a school that does sort of a BJJ internship--up and coming brown and black belts teach for 3-6 months at a time to get/practice teaching skills and I sponsor them for tournaments in the process. This is assuming Obama's fucking wonderful health care plan doesn't spiral out of control and I spent until I'm 30 in school for a shit paycheck.

 

[Darkslide632]

well my best story, One day we had this BEAUTIFUL 17 year old girl from another school come in (I'm 16, not a pedo) and she was fairly new to BJJ but still had some idea what she was doing, wasn't really over the whole it happens thing with touching certain spots, anywho we were about to start free sparring and we were talking, she was flirting a bit but i was in fight mode so it really didn't register, anyway we start and she immediately goes for double under-hooks and I just let her have it...then she went for what i assume was supposed to be a single leg (er something, was kinda weird) shot her hand down INTO my shorts AND underwear AND cup and managed to grab my dick...I couldn't stop myself from busting out laughing and I thought she was gonna pass out from embarrassment...then my coach came over and asked what happened and I just told him that it wasn't a big deal. I have to say that was the only time I've ever had a girl unintentionally grab my dick skin 2 skin, to make things even better i saw her a week later at sweetbay and went to talk to her and she turned bright red when i walked up so I just said hi and went on not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

Darkslide632: That's amazing.
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?

 

[no_itsnotadash**]

Nah, not at least that I would be the main instructor at. I'd like to have a school that does sort of a BJJ internship--up and coming brown and black belts teach for 3-6 months at a time to get/practice teaching skills and I sponsor them for tournaments in the process. This is assuming Obama's fucking wonderful health care plan doesn't spiral out of control and I spent until I'm 30 in school for a shit paycheck.

Have faith commrade.

 

[footgod]

Nah, not at least that I would be the main instructor at. I'd like to have a school that does sort of a BJJ internship--up and coming brown and black belts teach for 3-6 months at a time to get/practice teaching skills and I sponsor them for tournaments in the process. This is assuming Obama's fucking wonderful health care plan doesn't spiral out of control and I spent until I'm 30 in school for a shit paycheck.

I am beginning to really like Hillary


as to the call of the question

I once had a Greek traveler get ready to roll when he got out his speedo, no cup.
I guess back in Europe that's how people train but where I come from that's a little weird. Don't get me wrong I've fought in just a little more than a speedo before but that's a little different. That isn't bjj from the knees. So he asks in a real thick European accent if I wanted to roll. Everyone else was paired up. Dude's junk is right there for all the world to see Now I know I am tapping to anything resembling a triangle choke with this fella. BUt I am trying to be polite so I don't want to just pull out my Southern Cross and say that ain't how we do things in America boy. I bs something about a hygiene policy and speedos and grad a spar pair of board shorts out of my bag.

 

[Hellboy31]

Wow that's incredibly funny ...fuck off dipshit

Wow, was that really necessary... Just a joke dude. Sorry u didn't think it was funny but no need to be a sensitive little bitch about it

 

[redaxe]

I'm actually very good friends with the girl you are talking about. We met a few years back and just kind of kept in touch.. I sent her an email letting her know there was a thread about her on sherdog and she just sent me back a response.... I'm going to copy and paste it word for word..

a;oeihfad;nafgpoihartgnar;i adgoihagragpoirhg aouihgq;oihgqpouirbhgq
aoiughaoihg
aoihgaproihgapoihg a
aghoairhg opairghpaeirhg parihg a;gih
arophgiargolnargihafglkjnarihgjarhoinafgiojsroijaopginag
aoihgoaihnarohgisafoigharogihraoih


As you can tell she was a little pissed off.. Hopefully you will take in to account other people's feelings before posting from now on.

That reminds me... why did Hellen Keller's dog jump off a cliff?

 

[FREAK656]

Darkslide632: That's amazing.
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?

yeah, yeah, its even more amazing than that time I knocked out Mike Tyson, Chuck liddel and rampage Jackson all with the same right hook. I have to say reading it back it does sound...far fetched...no...more like bullshit but a lot of these sound that way, take it for what its worth I guess "cough"may have beefed up the beautiful part "COUGH" not bad lookin tho. but just because this happened once doesn't mean i haven't had my share of awkward training moments that include big sweaty dudes...:icon_cry2

 

[Hellboy31]

That reminds me... why did Hellen Keller's dog jump off a cliff?

lol.. why?

 

[footgod]

Lana Stefanac and Gazzy Parman.

you should come train with gazzy her gym is down the street from ours so she stops in a lot
very friendly person we've been pals for a few years now